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# Mediation Around the Table

Mediation Services in Las Vegas / Henderson

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## Posts

- [Do Your Intentions Align with Their Perceptions?  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/do-your-intentions-align-with-their-perceptions-three-minute-read/) - When I was in college, I had a poster in my dorm room with the words “I know you think you understand what you thought I said but I’m not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.” Credit for the quote goes to Alan Greenspan, the famous economist and former
- [At the End of the Day, it's Not the End of the World! (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/at-the-end-of-the-day-its-not-the-end-of-the-world-three-minute-read/) - Drama is everywhere. We all get caught up in it, whether by watching the news or letting reality television suck us dry. (By the way, I'm guilty of doing both.) In divorce mediation, the drama is both real and exaggerated. Ending a relationship is real and it's life changing. That part isn’t dramatic, it's simply
- [What if Mediation Isn't an Option?  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/what-if-mediation-isnt-an-option-three-minute-read/) - I conduct an initial (free) consultation with prospective clients to see whether mediation would be a good fit for their situation. Most often, I don't have to sell the concept because they're already open to it simply because they booked an appointment. Once in a while, though, my Spidey sense kicks in and I can
- [The Blame Puzzle (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/the-blame-puzzle-three-minute-read/) - We all know them. The blamers. The ones who are the quickest to deny responsibility or accountability. Instead, they say things like, “it wasn't my fault," or “I missed the deadline because my assistant’s kid was sick.” When I’m working with my divorce mediation clients, I never ever ask why they’re getting a divorce. Yet it
- [Showing Up Is Not About Being Ready (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/showing-up-is-not-about-being-ready-three-minute-read/) - My nephew, who's a motivational speaker, talked to me about "showing up." My takeaway was the thought that showing up is both easy and difficult at the same time. It's rarely about confidence or clarity. Most of the time, it's about choosing presence over avoidance. A few months ago, I had a couple scheduled for
- [Let it Go!  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/let-it-go-three-minute-read/) - Several years ago, I conducted a family mediation. Mom lived alone and her three adult siblings each wanted her to live with them. I gave everyone an opportunity to "pitch" why Mom should move in with them and, in Mom's case, why she should stay put. The oldest argued that she was the firstborn and
- [Button Pushing (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/button-pushing-three-minute-read/) - If you’ve ever been involved in an argument and suddenly realize that your partner, sibling, colleague or parent knows exactly how to push your buttons, you likely react by pushing theirs. But what does that actually accomplish? Being put on the defensive rarely results in a solution. Read on to see four statements to avoid,
- [Collaboration Instead of Competition (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/collaboration-instead-of-competition-three-minute-read/) - When I first started my divorce mediation practice, I tried to align myself with other mediators. I attended networking events, arranged one-on-one meetings, and overall chose to be supportive of my colleagues. And what did I get in return? "Don't quit your day job," a fellow mediator told me. Admittedly, that attitude discouraged me, but
- [Memory or Legacy? (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/memory-or-legacy-three-minute-read/) - The month of June always tugs at my emotions because it's the month of both Father's Day and my dad's birthday. It never stops amazing me how much he still shows up in my life, even though he's been gone for 20 years. I cherish the memories and am grateful for his legacy. You're
- [Some of my Favorite "H" Words (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/some-of-my-favorite-h-words-three-minute-read/) - If you've started making a list of yours, let me tell you that the "H" words I'm writing about aren't "Hello," "Hamburgers" or "Hawaii." Nor are they "Help, "Hide," or "Happiness." The reason I'm sharing this information today is more personal than professional, and here's why: after a particularly challenging divorce mediation, I called a
- [When Custody Disputes Turn Violent (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/when-custody-disputes-turn-violent-three-minute-read/) - Recently, a guy murdered his ex-wife and her new husband. He shot them in cold blood at a grocery store near my office, a place I stop at from time to time on my way home from work. Evidently, they were in the midst of a court battle over custody and child support. I don't
- [Co-Parenting Doesn't Have to be a Nightmare (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/co-parenting-doesnt-have-to-be-a-nightmare-three-minute-read/) - Do you wake up in the middle of the night because you and your ex can't seem to agree about anything concerning your kids? This topic is timely for me because I seem to be addressing it frequently during divorce mediations and post-divorce mediations. Let me begin with a disclaimer: I’m no expert on parenting (other
- [FAQs and Answers About Giving Support (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/faqs-and-answers-about-giving-support-three-minute-read/) - One of the things I love the best about my work as a Divorce Mediator (and my life as a friend) is having the opportunity to be supportive. Please think about how you would answer these frequently asked questions: Question 1: Your spouse just got fired. Do you (a) sit quietly and listen to how
- [Turbulence is Temporary (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/turbulence-is-temporary-three-minute-read/) - Every single time I fly home into Las Vegas airspace, there is turbulence. Sometimes a little and sometimes a lot, but I've experienced enough of it to understand that it doesn't last. I wish I could remember that concept when I catch myself getting stuck in the morass of worry. I start thinking, what if?
- [The Business of Marriage (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/the-business-of-marriage-three-minute-read/) - Most of us grow up hearing that marriage is a relationship (and I should know since I've had three of them). True statement, but also an incomplete one. Whether we acknowledge it or not, marriage is also a business. And like any business, it comes with contracts, obligations, shared assets, joint decision‑making, and long‑term financial
- [Five Questions to Help You Decide if You're Ready to Divorce (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/five-questions-to-help-you-decide-if-youre-ready-to-divorce-three-minute-read/) - Way back when I was still married to my first husband, it took me four years to gather the courage to tell him I wanted to end the relationship. I knew for sure that I wasn’t going to stay married to him forever, yet I procrastinated. I kept postponing my self-talk because I knew I
- [Ignorance Isn't Bliss (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/ignorance-isnt-bliss-three-minute-read/) - That's right. I said it. Ignorance is not bliss. This is contrary to the old adage which first appeared in an 18th century poem by Thomas Gray, "Where ignorance is bliss, 'tis folly to be wise." In real life, especially in divorce mediation, I can say with certainty that ignorance rarely brings bliss. Instead, it usually
- [Is It Possible to Reconcile?  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/is-it-possible-to-reconcile-three-minute-read/) - Just last week, I received a call from a client telling me that he and his spouse had reconciled. It’s news I’m always happy to hear, especially when they have children. Naturally, I don't hear this too often, but when I do, I refund any unused retainer fees and wish them all the best. What
- [Journal Benefits (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/journal-benefits-three-minute-read/) - In what seems like another lifetime, I went on a retreat with my first husband, designed to help improve an already good marriage. (Guess what, it didn't work.) We were asked to take 10 minutes to write down our answer to a specific question and then exchange answers with our partner. I think the intention
- [You Have What It Takes to be a Mentor!  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/you-have-what-it-takes-to-be-a-mentor-three-minute-read/) - Regardless of your age or your education, you’ve probably acquired experience in something. It makes no difference whether you’re a life insurance expert or a gardening enthusiast, sharing some of the things you’ve learned can have all kinds of hidden and not-so-hidden benefits.I have had the privilege of mentoring a few young women who started
- [What Would You Advise Your Best Friend?  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/what-would-you-advise-your-best-friend-three-minute-read/) - Decision making is complicated. Just ask my divorce mediation clients how they've struggled with the decision to end the relationship, and how hard they were on themselves during the process. What would happen if your best friend asked you to weigh in on her marriage? Would you treat her more gently than you'd treat yourself?
- [Can Second Marriages Be Successful?  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/can-second-marriages-be-successful-three-minute-read/) - As if the 50% failure rate for first marriages isn’t horrible enough, the failure rate of second marriages rises to a staggering 67%. You’d think after one divorce, we’d be better equipped to make a success of the second marriage. So, what’s the deal?Turns out, there are many reasons why the deck is stacked against
- [Avoiding Conversations Can Lead to Divorce (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/avoiding-conversations-can-lead-to-divorce-three-minute-read/) - As a divorce mediator, I help clients have the conversations they’ve often avoided for years. These usually fall into three categories: money, parenting, and feeling unappreciated. Avoidance in any of these areas can quietly erode a relationship until the damage feels irreversible.Financial disconnect is one of the most common precursors to divorce. Take “Justin” and
- [Open for Business?  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/open-for-business-three-minute-read/) - One of my top goals as a divorce mediator is being accessible to my clients, whether past, present, or future. I don't have to remind myself that ending a relationship or navigating one with a co-parent is challenging, to say the least. That's why I know how important it is to be available.We all know
- [Identifying Relationship Red Flags (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/identifying-relationship-red-flags-three-minute-read/) - I've been doing some research to figure out how I can spot a red flag while it's in front of me, instead of in the rear view mirror. And I've discovered five signs. The first sign is when I begin to feel guilty putting my needs ahead of the other person. I used to have
- [Five Tips to Better Use Your Voice (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/five-tips-to-better-use-your-voice-three-minute-read/) - We all have a voice. We use it in many ways every day, whether we’re ordering lunch at a restaurant, talking on the phone to a customer service representative, or chatting with the family at the dinner table. The tone of our voices can vary as well, whether we’re adopting the impersonal and more formal
- [Overcoming an Estrangement (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/overcoming-an-estrangement-three-minute-read/) - "They haven’t spoken to each other in years.”I wish I would have kept track of how many times I’ve heard those words since I became a mediator. The parties involved are typically siblings, and no two stories are ever the same. Someone inevitably tells me that there's no hope of a reconciliation until the other
- [Teen Co-Parenting (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/teen-co-parenting-three-minute-read/) - Many of my divorce mediation clients come back for a tune-up when their children become teenagers. Co-parenting can be more challenging with teens because their issues are different and often complicated. If the parents aren't on the same page, surviving their kids' adolescence can be daunting. When my clients approach me on the subject, I
- [Relationship Sabotage (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/relationship-sabotage-three-minute-read/) - I wish I would have kept track of the number of divorce mediation clients who've accused each other of sabotaging the relationship, often masking their inner fear of rejection. As I start my 15th year (!!) as a divorce and family mediator, I'm able to share several common threads of sabotage that my clients have
- [Defining Our Value (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/defining-our-value-three-minute-read/) - In divorce mediation, the concept of value occurs frequently. Most often, it has to do with money, as in "my money pays the mortgage," or "the money in my 401K was deducted from my paycheck." I often have to patiently explain that Nevada is considered a community property state, so there generally is no such
- [I'm Venting Not Complaining!  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/im-venting-not-complaining-three-minute-read/) - There's a significant difference, don't you think? I know a guy who complained about practically everything, to the point where being with him often became exhausting. In spite of denying that his intention was to blame, his complaints centered around the problem rather than the solution. To me, his complaints became chronic, so I vented
- [Please Help Me Start 2026 With Positivity (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/please-help-me-start-2026-with-positivity-three-minute-read/) - Surrounding myself with like-minded, positive people delights me, and I genuinely rejoice in their good news. Whether it’s a new baby, a new puppy, a promotion, or a new dishwasher, the good news of others makes me happy.I learned a long time ago to choose optimism, and anyone who knows me will confirm that my
- [Taking With You or Leaving Behind? (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/taking-with-you-or-leaving-behind-three-minute-read/) - The end of the year is a natural time for introspection, and the beginning of a new year is a natural time to set goals. (Notice I didn't use the word "resolution.") Hopefully, 2025 was a good year for you. I'm giving it mixed reviews.I had some wonderful experiences this year. I traveled some, made
- ['Tis the Season for Happy Endings (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/tis-the-season-for-happy-endings-three-minute-read/) - I have a confession to make. I do not like Hallmark movies. It’s not that I’m a snob with high standards. In fact, anyone who has known me for awhile will undoubtedly hear me sing the praises of all Will Ferrell movies. And it’s not that I have anything against romance. On the contrary, I
- [Is it Time to Go?  Or Stay?  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/is-it-time-to-go-or-stay-three-minute-read/) - Making the decision to end a relationship can be more challenging than actually ending it. This is true whether you’re thinking about leaving your spouse, quitting your job, or selling your house. And if you’re indecisive by nature, the choice can be brutal. After more than 14 years of conducting divorce mediations, I’ve become pretty
- [Do You Have to Deal With Someone Who's Domineering?  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/do-you-have-to-deal-with-someone-whos-domineering-three-minute-read/) - I believe that domineering people need to have the last word. And I have no problem allowing them to have it because I'm not usually domineering. Having the last word isn’t important to me. Why does it even matter? I decided to do some research and, not surprisingly, there are scads of opinions on this
- [Who Knows Best? Mom? Grandma? Or Mary Poppins?  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/who-knows-best-mom-grandma-or-mary-poppins-three-minute-read/) - This is a story about how generations differ and evolve, especially when it comes to child-rearing. And this is also a story about love. Let me introduce you to Sally, a retired elementary school teacher who frequently helps out her daughter, Ashley, by babysitting for Ashley’s baby. (I’m not going to tell you the baby's
- [To Be Honest, Sometimes I'm Passive-Aggressive (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/to-be-honest-sometimes-im-passive-aggressive-three-minute-read/) - I recently helped a divorced couple to modify their Parenting Plan. What I observed, practically from the very beginning, was that the mom had a passive-aggressive style of communication, and it led to the dad’s confusion rather than his understanding. Here are some examples of what she did and/or said: When the dad stated that
- [Recovering from an Argument (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/recovering-from-an-argument-three-minute-read/) - Not surprisingly, I have heard many arguments during divorce mediation. I've also listened to many arguments between my parents. And I've participated in more than a few arguments in my own relationships. I can say for sure that people have unique ways of arguing. What I'd like to say for sure, but can't, is that
- [Parenting Dilemma - Fear or Respect?  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/parenting-dilemma-fear-or-respect-three-minute-read/) - Many couples who come to me for divorce mediation land in my office because they have opposite parenting styles. I’ve met with the fun mom and the strict dad, the fierce dad and the nurturing mom, as well as the taskmaster mom and the Disneyland dad. All of these differing parenting styles confuse me, so
- [Fair vs. Equal: The Teeter-Totter of Divorce (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/fair-vs-equal-the-teeter-totter-of-divorce-three-minute-read/) - Every single time I start a divorce mediation, my clients tell me that they want things to be fair. It’s a lofty goal, because the decision to end the relationship almost always starts out one-sided. Someone wants to call it quits and is in the driver's seat, at least at first. So I’ll ask the
- [Relationship Gardening (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/relationship-gardening-three-minute-read/) - It seems to me that taking care of your committed relationship is like nurturing a garden. In the beginning, you decide what you're going to grow. You till the soil and you plant the seeds. You pay close attention as the seedlings begin to sprout, giving them the proper amount of sun, water, and food.
- [Appreciating Your Co-Workers (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/appreciating-your-co-workers-three-minute-read/) - When’s the last time you told your manager, assistant, colleague, or CEO that they matter to you? And not just saying “thank you.” That’s too easy and too habitual. Nor am I referring to overall gratitude which, although most definitely a good thing, has become ubiquitous. I’m talking about expressing your sincere and specific appreciation
- [It's Time for a Break!  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/its-time-for-a-break-three-minute-read/) - While concentrating on the business of getting through each day, taking good care of my divorce mediation clients and doing my best to take care of myself, I sometimes get lost in the weeds with no understanding of how I landed there. I know I'm not the only one who worries about things that don’t
- [Decisions, Decisions (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/decisions-decisions-three-minute-read-2/) - In the 14+ years I've been a divorce mediator, I’ve become pretty good at reading my clients. Once in awhile, a “divorce bully” and spouse come in and I can tell almost immediately that this is an “or else” situation. “You’ll do this, or else we’re getting a divorce.” I will gently (and quickly) encourage
- [Relationship Currency (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/relationship-currency-three-minute-read/) - Recently, two of my favorite people spent a weekend with me and inevitably our conversation landed on divorce mediation. They asked about my relationship observations, both from a success perspective as well as why some eventually fail. We all agreed that a healthy relationship is built on a foundation of diverse currencies representing various values
- [Kids are Resilient, But Only if Their Parents Are (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/kids-are-resilient-but-only-if-their-parents-are-three-minute-read/) - After 13+ years as a divorce and family mediator, I have worked with literally hundreds of families. I've conducted mediations with parents who've brought along their toddlers (not ideal), and I've also met privately with their teenagers (ideal). Every kid is unique, and every family has its own dynamics. One thing I know for sure
- [Integrity Wellness Check (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/integrity-wellness-check-three-minute-read/) - Every so often, I reread “The Four Agreements” sometimes stopping after the first principle, which is to “be impeccable with your word.” To me that means integrity, and some of us may be due for personal check-up. So, let's start with a brief quiz: Do your actions match your words? Do you keep your promises?
- [Are You On Demand or In Demand?  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/are-your-services-on-demand-or-in-demand-three-minute-read/) - This topic was introduced to me by a colleague who I met years ago at a networking event. I admire her work ethic and follow-up skills, and each time we meet, she gives me another nugget of inspiration. Hence, the title of this article. I find myself struggling with this concept. It's important to me
- [Need Some Motivation?  Here's How. (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/need-some-motivation-heres-how-three-minute-read/) - Getting through the dog days of summer can be a challenge. While not generally lazy, I am finding myself putting off more things than I get done each day. So, my "to do" list keeps growing like the pile of clothes I need to take to the women's shelter. It's time for me to get
- [Retreating in Front of Your Former In-Laws (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/retreating-in-front-of-your-former-in-laws-three-minute-read/) - During practically every divorce mediation, I remind my clients that, although they're no longer a couple, they will always be a family. I offer up scenarios where they’ll likely be sitting next to or near each other, such as graduations, birthday parties, weddings, soccer games, and school performances. And I reinforce that being civil with
- [Buckets of Resentment (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/buckets-of-resentment-three-minute-read/) - When you imagine an empty bucket and then fill it, what goes in? Water? Sand? Popcorn? Something intangible? At least once a week, a divorcing couple comes into my office carrying a bucket of resentment. One or the other has either cheated, spent too much money, hidden money, has a drinking problem, or is a
- [Healthy Discussion or Pointless Debate? (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/healthy-discussion-or-pointless-debate-three-minute-read/) - Helen Mirren once said: "Before you argue with someone, ask yourself, is that person even mentally mature enough to grasp the concept of a different perspective? Because if not, there's absolutely no point." I wish I would have learned this lesson a long time ago. Sometimes, no matter how clearly you express yourself, and no
- [Hope vs. Expectation (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/hope-vs-expectation-three-minute-read/) - On a recent flight from Milwaukee, I finished an extraordinary novel. I had to explain to my seatmates that the reason I kept blowing my nose was the sad ending, and not that I was sick. (Comment below and I'll tell you the title.) Because one of the underlying themes of the book is the
- [Where Does Compassion Come From? (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/where-does-compassion-come-from-three-minute-read/) - I drive past unhoused people almost every day. Sometimes, especially when it’s raining, I will lower my car window and hand over a dollar. But most of the time, I simply look the other way. I guess I’m more compassionate in the rain than I am in the sunshine. I do understand that feeling compassion
- [Labels (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/labels-three-minute-read-2/) - Some labels are important. After all, I don’t want to grab jar of orange marmalade when I'm really looking for apricot preserves. Other than the important ones (like those on wine bottles), I dislike labels. I don’t like the scratchy ones inside my t-shirts, and I don’t like the ones that are impossible to remove
- [Does Your Company Have a Dating Policy? (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/does-your-company-have-a-dating-policy-three-minute-read/) - If you’re an employee who’s having or who has ever had an office romance, raise your hand. To be completely transparent, I'm raising my hand right now as well. Surveys report that 60% of people responding have dated a co-worker at one time or another and if it’s not you personally, chances are you know
- [Is Your Nest Empty? (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/is-your-nest-empty-three-minute-read/) - Congratulations! Your youngest kid is off to college and now, for the first time in decades, it's just the two of you. Sometimes that empty nest is an opportunity to strengthen your connection, and sometimes it's a realization that there's nothing tying the two of you together any more. I have conducted many divorce mediations
- [I'm Never Speaking to her Again! (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/im-never-speaking-to-her-again-three-minute-read/) - I wish I would have kept track of how many times I’ve heard those words since I became a mediator. Mostly, the parties involved are siblings. No two stories are ever the same, and there is always a self-righteous undertone. “She’s the one who needs to apologize, not me” is what we say when we
- [Empathy - Easier for Some Than for Others (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/empathy-easier-for-some-than-for-others-three-minute-read/) - My divorce mediation clients often accuse each other of not having empathy. And I find myself tossing the word around like it's commonplace. Honestly, I used to think either you have it or you don't, and if you don't, it's too late to learn. And boy, was I wrong. Psychologists consider empathy to be a
- [The Many Branches of a 21st Century Family Tree (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/the-many-branches-of-a-21st-century-family-tree-three-minute-read/) - Several weeks ago, I ran into a former divorce mediation client when we were both exiting a nearby restaurant. We stopped to chat for a few minutes and she told me that she'd recently lost her grandmother. She said there were many mourners at the funeral because Grandma Bea had lived a long life and
- [No Good Deed Goes Unpunished (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/no-good-deed-goes-unpunished-three-minute-read/) - I confess that I intensely dislike the title of this article. It's cynical, negative, and is typically used in the context that when someone does something good or helpful, they may experience adverse consequences or hardships as a result. In other words, trying to be kind or altruistic might backfire and lead to problems or
- [Impasse? (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/impasse-three-minute-read/) - Whether you’re negotiating a real estate deal or which movie to see, occasionally you’re going to encounter an immovable force. You want to get your way but it’s not looking good. Do you cave? Will you seem weak? Do you push? Will your actions be perceived as overly aggressive?While this may seem obvious, the first
- [Choosing Peace Over Perfection (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/choosing-peace-over-perfection-three-minute-read-2/) - I am a stickler for proper spelling, grammar, and manners. I’ve been known to reply to random posts on Facebook to point out the difference between “your” and “you’re.” I even have a file in my phone labeled "Typos" to store the numerous pictures I've taken of signage errors. One time, I’m embarrassed to admit,
- [Rebuilding Broken Trust (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/rebuilding-broken-trust-three-minute-read/) - We already know that relationships require trust. You trust the person who's cleaning your house, and the babysitter who’s keeping your kids safe. You trust that your employees will take good care of your customers, and you trust the instructor who’s teaching your teenager how to drive. And of course the obvious: you trust your
- [A Relationship Needs Two Chief Financial Officers (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/a-relationship-needs-two-chief-financial-officers-three-minute-read/) - Does your partner handle your finances? Let me share a story. In my first marriage, which was a very long time ago, my husband insisted on paying the household bills even though I was the greater breadwinner. Although I suspected we were living beyond our means, I chose not to address it with my
- [Stressed?  S.T.O.P. and Read This!  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/stressed-s-t-o-p-and-read-this-three-minute-read/) - Everyone experiences some stress from time to time. Everyone can also admit to feeling anxiety from time to time. Many of us get angry more often than we'd like. In each and every moment of discontent, we all have the ability to deal with these negative emotions in a positive way. It starts and ends
- [The Relationship Rollercoaster (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/the-relationship-rollercoaster-three-minute-read/) - Relationships, like life itself, rarely have a smooth, upward trajectory. It's natural to experience periods of closeness and harmony, as well as periods of distance and conflict. Understanding that "ups and downs" are a normal and inevitable part of any significant connection can help you navigate these fluctuations with more resilience and empathy.Here's a breakdown
- [Throwing in the Towel (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/throwing-in-the-towel-three-minute-read/) - If you've been married more than 20 years and are contemplating divorce, you're not alone. For more than 10 years, I have helped a surprising number of couples to end their long term marriages, some even after 45 years! This phenomenon has been labeled the “Grey Divorce” (as in older couples with grey hair), and
- [How Was Your Day?  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/how-was-your-day-three-minute-read/) - Because I'm a divorce mediator, the interaction between partners is always interesting to me. I pay particular attention to other diners when I'm at a restaurant. If the couple seems to barely engage in conversation with each other, or if they seem to be absorbed by their phones, I believe I'm correctly assuming that they're
- [Nicely Saying "No" (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/nicely-saying-no-three-minute-read/) - I had an interesting discussion at a recent Adam's Place meeting. (Adam's Place is a non-profit organization supporting children and their families who have suffered the loss of a loved one. I have been facilitating the adult group for eight years, and it's been one of the greatest honors in my life.) Anyway, there were
- [Your Kids Are Listening (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/your-kids-are-listening-three-minute-read/) - Just last week, I started a divorce mediation with a couple going through a particularly ugly break-up. Practically the first thing they told me was that they they often fight in front of their kids. And they acknowledged the negative impact.I shared some insight by telling my clients that my own parents constantly bickered in
- [Holding onto a Grudge and Letting it Go (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/holding-onto-a-grudge-and-letting-it-go-three-minute-read/) - You and your mother-in-law had the fight to end all fights. Granted, it was a long time ago, but it was never resolved. You didn't have closure. There wasn’t even an agreement to disagree. Just silence. Out of respect for your spouse, you continued to go through the motions. You mailed a card on Mother’s
- [Dealing with Aging Parents (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/dealing-with-aging-parents-three-minute-read/) - Many people I know are dealing with aging parents or grandparents about some or all of these issues: (1) Care, safety and comfort; (2) Mobility; (3) Living situation; (4) Companionship; (5) Sexuality; (6) Mental capacity; and (7) End of life decisions.Wow! Tough stuff. We tend to avoid these difficult conversations, don’t we? But if we’re
- [Feeling Stuck?  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/feeling-stuck-three-minute-read/) - Have you ever been stuck in a conflict that ends with an impasse? Maybe your co-workers have refused additional responsibility, or your teenager won't respect a curfew. Maybe your spouse "forgets” to mention use of the debit card, or your babysitter can't seem to arrive on time. There are political examples of impasse, too. Just
- [What's The Secret to a Lasting Marriage?  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/whats-the-secret-to-a-lasting-marriage-three-minute-read/) - As a divorce mediator, I can share many reasons why marriages end. But as we all know, a majority of marriages thrive. I often ask couples who seem to have figured it out to share their formula for success. The answers run the gamut from separate bathrooms (my parents' solution to their 65 year marriage)
- [Do You Have a Long-Lost Relative? (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/do-you-have-a-long-lost-relative-three-minute-read/) - Last month, I had the privilege of conducting a family mediation with three siblings who found each other through a national DNA search organization. The youngest sibling, "Christina," asked me to help the newly discovered family deal with the potential awkwardness of their first meeting. We all got together in my conference room. The back
- [The Conflict Resolution Pendulum (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/the-conflict-resolution-pendulum-three-minute-read/) - How do you start or restart a pendulum? You give it a hearty push and it goes all the way to the left, and then all the way to the right, and so on, until it settles in the middle. I use this analogy frequently in my mediation practice, especially when I’m talking to divorcing
- [My Mom Always Said "Never Say Never" (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/my-mom-always-said-never-say-never-three-minute-read/) - I was conducting a divorce mediation recently, and the couple asked me to help them communicate in a more respectful way. The wife felt unappreciated and said to the husband, “You never give me a compliment.” He immediately denied it, and here's why. It's because she said “never.” It’s an absolute, and using it guarantees
- [How Much Does Peace Cost? (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/how-much-does-peace-cost-three-minute-read/) - t should come as no surprise to you that peace has a price tag. Due to the recent passing of President Jimmy Carter, I was reminded of the Camp David Accords, and the deal negotiated by President Carter resulting in one of the most famous peace treaties in history between Anwar Sadat and Menachem Begin
- [Thinking About an Exit Strategy? (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/we-all-could-use-an-exit-strategy-three-minute-read/) - No matter whether you’re about to quit your job or end your relationship, strategically planning the exit means setting emotions aside while you make a practical “to do” list. This is neither the time nor the place to improvise. Instead, and before your internal GPS starts suggesting that you move over to the exit lane,
- [The Stages of Intimacy and Committing to Connecting (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/the-stages-of-intimacy-and-committing-to-connecting-three-minute-read/) - Once in awhile, I like to shift my focus from relationships that are ending to relationships that are enduring. Nice twist, right?Whether you've been together for two years or 42 years, I'm sure you'll agree that your relationship has gone through various stages. If you're still in the honeymoon stage, enjoy it. Not to be
- [Do You Know Your Triggers?  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/do-you-know-your-triggers-three-minute-read/) - Can you cry on demand? I can. All I need to do is conjure up a memory about my late husband or my deceased parents, and the tears start to roll. Those memories are emotional triggers for me. During a recent divorce mediation I used the word “appreciation” and, as it turned out, that word triggered
- [Brad and Angelina's Divorce (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/brad-and-angelinas-divorce-three-minute-read/) - I'm a little bit embarrassed to admit that I've been devouring all of the gossip concerning the finalization of Brad and Angelina's divorce. My rationale is that I'm a divorce mediator, so I need to look at it for professional purposes.So much about their divorce is both amazing and appalling to me. And the online
- [Life is Good (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/life-is-good-three-minute-read-2/) - I just finished rereading my "Life is Good" blog that I posted to end 2019. A lot of the items on my list still ring true for me. There also were a lot of significant changes. Little did we know that as 2020 approached, the entire world would turn upside down in a matter of
- [Is it a Coincidence? (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/is-it-a-coincidence-three-minute-read/) - When I was a teenager, I was strolling around Topanga Plaza, a large shopping mall near my house. I happened to be walking by a phone booth (remember those?) when I heard the phone ring. So, I answered it and began a conversation with another teenager who said she was random-dialing. I told here where
- [Compromise is an Art (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/compromise-is-an-art-three-minute-read/) - Some experts consider compromise to be a balancing act. I consider it an art. Imagine you've been commissioned to paint a watercolor for friends of friends. (I'll call them "Harry" and "Sally"). You're standing in your studio. There's a blank canvas perched on an easel, but before you pick up your paintbrush, you have to
- [Sometimes You Have to Change the Dream (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/sometimes-you-have-to-change-the-dream-three-minute-read/) - As you can probably imagine, divorce mediation can be an emotional experience. It's like a gut-punch to me when I hear my clients talk about their dreams being destroyed. Obviously, when we get married, it's not with the expectation of eventually getting divorced. And when we have children, it's not with the expectation that we're
- [Fix It Before It's Too Late!  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/fix-it-before-its-too-late-three-minute-read/) - A friend of the family passed away a few months ago. The funeral was across the country, so I didn't attend. However, I learned afterwards about a dramatic scene that literally took place at the gravesite. Evidently, there had been bad blood between "Jack," who died only two months after a cancer diagnosis, and his
- [Abundance (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/abundance-three-minute-read/) - It seems like everywhere I go, I hear about gratitude. Olympic athletes, award winners, politicians, and service providers are all grateful. And so am I. However, when a word becomes obsequious, I think it loses its power. Instead, on this day before Thanksgiving 2024, I'm not going to make my grateful list. Just for today,
- [Putting Away the Rear-View Mirror (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/putting-away-the-rear-view-mirror-three-minute-read/) - As a divorce and family mediator, I frequently observe that many of my clients seem to focus on blame. It's natural. And I also see a lot of people who simply want to get on with their lives. It's understandable. The challenge for me is to help both parties when one is looking back while
- [Fear versus Respect (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/fear-versus-respect-three-minute-read/) - I often meet with couples who are divorcing because they have opposite parenting styles. I’ve helped the fun mom and the strict dad, the fierce dad and the nurturing mom, as well as the taskmaster mom and the Disneyland dad. In fact, just last month I met with a couple whose divorce motivated me to
- [Is Your Kid Living in Your Basement? (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/is-your-kid-living-in-your-basement-three-minute-read/) - I recently caught an episode of a reality show (please don't judge me), where a 35 year old man was living in his parents' basement. He had his reasons of course, but I began to wonder if his parents were simply enabling him. Psychologists define an enabler as “someone who allows poor choices and decisions
- [Let's Just Sweep it Under the Rug (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/lets-just-sweep-it-under-the-rug-three-minute-read/) - In the years prior to moving to Las Vegas, I lived next door to a wonderful couple. They were generous and fun to be around. Their marriage, however, confused me long before I was ever in the divorce business. Why? Mainly because every so often they would have noisy shouting matches, so loud that I
- [Is Personal Connection Becoming Extinct? (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/is-personal-connection-becoming-extinct-three-minute-read/) - I am not a dinosaur. I love technology. It makes my life run more efficiently. I can send a text to say I’m running five minutes late, and I can confirm tomorrow’s appointments without having to make a call, wait for an answer, or be required to leave a voicemail.On the other hand, how many
- [Stealing Time (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/stealing-time-three-minute-read/) - Time matters a lot to me. For instance, I’m obsessively punctual and I have little patience for people who are continually “running a little late.” Any professional who gets paid by the hour knows that time is money. So does any service provider who schedules customers. Imagine if your first customer of the day was
- [Divorce with Adult Kids (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/divorce-with-adult-kids-three-minute-read/) - How come nobody talks about this? It's widely known that divorce impacts children, but what if the children are grown and out of the house? I recently conducted a divorce mediation with "Elizabeth" and "Richard." They were ending their 28 year marriage, and told me that their two adult sons were experiencing a range of
- [Giving a Pat on the Back (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/giving-a-pat-on-the-back-three-minute-read/) - When’s the last time you told your [fill in the blank] that they matter to you? I’m not talking about saying “thank you.” That’s too easy and too habitual. Nor am I talking about overall general gratitude which, although most definitely a good thing, has become ubiquitous. I’m talking about expressing your sincere and specific appreciation
- [Blending Families (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/blending-families-three-minute-read/) - Statistics show that one in three Americans is either a stepchild, a stepsibling, or a stepparent. That’s a lot of blended families! Those of a certain age can certainly remember The Brady Bunch, but let’s not forget that it was a fictional family. There are celebrity blended families, such as Gabrielle Union and Dwyane Wade,
- [THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT! (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/this-is-very-important-three-minute-read/) - If you’ve watched one minute of television over the past month, I know you’ve been inundated with political commercials. This candidate is a liar, this candidate is shady, this candidate wants to end social security or increase social security, this candidate wants to raise taxes or lower taxes, this candidate wants to open our borders,
- [Sympathy, Empathy, and Compassion (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/sympathy-empathy-and-compassion-three-minute-read/) - Raise your hand if you understand the difference between sympathy, empathy, and compassion. Congratulations! It’s not the easiest distinction to make, and it will likely come in handy the next time someone close to you is in pain. Here's a brief tutorial:According to Dictionary.com, sympathy is to have feelings of pity and sorrow for someone
- [The Greater Good (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/the-greater-good-three-minute-read/) - Gratitude is ubiquitous. Everyone is talking about it, writing in journals devoted to it, and practicing it. There are literally thousands and thousands of memes created to display the word and what's behind it, posters and needlepoint pillows illustrating it, and athletes using the word to share their victories. So, I thought I'd take the
- [Translator or Interpreter? What's the Difference? (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/translator-or-interpreter-whats-the-difference-three-minute-read/) - Don’t bother Googling the definitions of “translator” and “interpreter.” I just did and, according to Google, they’re synonymous. I respectfully disagree. In my opinion, Mediators are translators. We (attempt to) translate the communication from one party in conflict to another. If, instead, we become interpreters, we run the risk of getting it wrong. It’s like
- [Three Key Words That Start With "H" (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/three-key-words-that-start-with-h-three-minute-read/) - A few months ago, I was helping to train future volunteer facilitators at my favorite non-profit, Adam's Place (www.adamsplacelv.org), and one of the participants shared something truly wonderful with the rest of us. I'm writing about this now in the hopes that I imprint this wisdom in my own mind and, perhaps in your mind
- [Do You Need Help? (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/do-you-need-help-three-minute-read/) - If this article seems familiar to you, you're right. I'm tweaking and republishing something I wrote a couple of years ago, mainly because this topic comes up frequently in my personal life as well as in my mediation practice. Let's say your kitchen sink is backed up. You call the plumber. Or your front porch
- [Is There Always Another Shoe?  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/is-there-always-another-shoe-three-minute-read/) - My mom was extremely superstitious. I remember her knocking on wood, throwing salt over her shoulder, or telling me to bite my tongue. By contrast, I don't think I'm terribly superstitious, except that I never talk about how good my car has been running, and I never say out loud how long it's been since
- [Surpassing the Impasse (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/surpassing-the-impasse-three-minute-read/) - We’ve all been stuck in a conflict that ends with an impasse. Co-workers who refuse additional responsibility, teenagers who won’t respect a curfew, spouses who “forget” to mention use of the debit card, are just a few typical examples. There are global examples of impasse, too. Take a look at the Middle East. Or, closer
- [Give Me a Break! (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/give-me-a-break-three-minute-read/) - I recently had a conversation with one of my favorite people in the universe. (You know who you are . . .) We covered the usual topics: business, politics, and family. During our call, I complimented him on his parenting skills. Instead of simply saying "thanks," he confessed that he was often way too hard
- [Is Divorce Harder on Women or on Men?  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/is-divorce-harder-on-women-or-on-men-three-minute-read/) - I’ve been wondering about the different ways men and women approach divorce, deal with it, and how people survive it. And although every situation is unique, I’ve come to the conclusion that most men think they have it harder than women as they’re navigating a divorce.Why?One reason might be that men don’t seem to have
- [Friend Custody (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/friend-custody-three-minute-read/) - Often during a divorce mediation, I will ask my clients about their support systems. It's important that they have loyal friends to lean on during these emotional times. A few years ago, my close friends announced they were getting a divorce, I wasn’t the slightest bit surprised. Socializing with them was often uncomfortable, and trying
- [Can a Reconciliation Be Successful? (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/can-a-reconciliation-be-successful-three-minute-read/) - Once in a blue moon, I get a call from a divorce client telling me that the couple has reconciled. It’s news I’m always happy to hear, especially if they have children and even more especially, if they’re willing to do the work. Unfortunately, what typically happens next is that a few months later, they
- [Help! My Ex Won't Leave Me Alone (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/help-my-ex-wont-leave-me-alone-three-minute-read/) - In my divorce mediation practice, I occasionally hear from a client who is struggling with an annoying ex. I hear that the former spouse can't seem to let go of the past and is desperately seeking a reconciliation. (Emphasis here on "desperate.") This sometimes occurs because, during the divorce process, one spouse wants to let
- [I Like Small Talk (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/i-like-small-talk-three-minute-read/) - As a divorce and family mediator, I am involved in multiple, deeply serious conversations every day. Listening to my clients, and more importantly, helping them listen to each other, is critical to the success of each and every mediation. So, maybe I'm like the algebra teacher who doesn't want to help with her kid's math
- [The Ever-Increasing Responsibilities of Grandparenting (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/the-ever-increasing-responsibilities-of-grandparenting-three-minute-read/) - Although I'm technically not a grandmother, I have personally witnessed the unconditional love of a grandparent for a grandchild, and vice versa. I believe it can be one of life's greatest joys.But what if grandparenting isn't exactly joyful? I know several people who, due to unforeseen circumstances, have had no choice but to take over
- [Can You Be in a Relationship and Still Be Lonely? (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/can-you-be-in-a-relationship-and-still-be-lonely-three-minute-read/) - I have a friend whose wife is everywhere and anywhere with the kids or her co-workers, yet makes no time, in his eyes, for their marriage. He’s told me on numerous occasions that he has no friends, and that he feels abandoned in his own home. I have another friend whose husband plops down on
- [Can Arguing Be Beneficial?  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/can-arguing-be-beneficial-three-minute-read/) - It's ironic that professionally, I help other people resolve conflict, yet in my personal life, I am decidedly conflict averse. Despite my attempts to avoid them, when I find myself getting sucked into an argument, I push back, defend myself, and go to the "I'm right - you're wrong" neighborhood, which is a pretty sketchy
- [Lying to your Kids (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/lying-to-your-kids-three-minute-read/) - What happens when your kids catch you in a lie? Do you lose all credibility forever? When I was about 5 or 6 years old, I heard the term "white lie" for the first time, directly from my mom. (I Googled the expression to make sure it wasn't racist in origin. It's not.) She said
- [Do You Believe in Luck?  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/do-you-believe-in-luck-three-minute-read/) - People who win Powerball, the Lottery, or a ginormous slot machine jackpot are definitely lucky. How about winners of the Super Bowl, the NBA Championship, the Stanley Cup, or the World Series? Are they lucky? Am I lucky when I make every green light along Eastern Avenue when I drive the four miles from home
- [Are You a Good Person or a Nice Person? (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/are-you-a-good-person-or-a-nice-person-three-minute-read/) - When I was in high school, this was a burning question having sexual implications. Nice girls were virgins. Good girls were not. Now that we're (hopefully) past considering the significance of someone's virginity, there's a whole new world about the difference between being a good person and being a nice person, especially when weighing these
- [Oh, the Shame! (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/oh-the-shame-three-minute-read/) - Despite all the news about cyber-bullying, shaming is not solely a social media phenomenon. I can trace it back to my childhood (way, way before the internet), when my kindergarten teacher, "Miss Brooks," shamed me in front of the whole class. I innocently told her that I’d stepped on a worm on my way to
- [Does Your Family Have Any Secrets? (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/does-your-family-have-any-secrets-three-minute-read/) - Family secrets can create a strong bond, or they can be divisive. Either way, they're powerful. And for some reason, they are almost always significant. Affairs, abuse, addiction, mental illness, and even arrests are giant secrets that family members can be forced to keep. And while a family secret might bring siblings closer together, there
- [It's Never Too Late for Reinvention (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/its-never-too-late-for-reinvention-three-minute-read/) - Those of you who've known me for a while might recall that I have reinvented myself several times. After the death of both my parents and my husband in a 20-month time span, I reinvented myself on a massive scale. No longer a daughter or a wife, for the first time ever I was just
- [Setting Boundaries (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/setting-boundaries-three-minute-read/) - I have come to realize that I have a difficult time setting boundaries. As a result, sometimes I feel under-appreciated, and sometimes downright taken for granted. Why is this so hard for me? Is it because of my birth order (youngest of three)? Is it because I like to think I’m a genuinely nice person?In
- [Disagreement Without Disrespect (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/disagreement-without-disrespect-three-minute-read/) - Sometimes when I'm conducting a divorce mediation, I think I'm a puppeteer, pulling the strings of my disagreeing clients, and trying to steer them away from any accompanying disrespect. I'm not always successful, though. I've heard spouses call each other liars, whores, cheaters, addicts, you name it. While I generally let my clients vent a
- [The Business of Running a Family (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/the-business-of-running-a-family-three-minute-read/) - If you’re a member of a family, chances are you’ve participated in a family meeting. Whether you’re deciding about pizza toppings, which movie to watch, or where to go on vacation, if there’s more than one decision maker, somehow a consensus arrives. My dad used to call us to a “Board of Directors Meeting,” which
- [It Takes a Village (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/it-takes-a-village-three-minute-read/) - In case you were wondering, the expression "it takes a village" apparently originated from an African proverb emphasizing the importance of community in raising a child. It is also the title of a book written by Hillary Clinton more than 10 years ago addressing the goal of enabling children to become smart, capable, and resilient
- [Slow Down! (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/slow-down-three-minute-read/) - As we are becoming more and more dependent on the instant gratification of checking with Google (or Siri, or Alexa), I wonder if our own impatience can be causing harm. Raise your hand if you’ve recently found yourself doing any of the following:Interrupting someoneMonopolizing the conversationProviding unsolicited adviceAbruptly changing the subject Who me? Absolutely. And
- [Reacting vs. Responding (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/reacting-vs-responding-three-minute-read/) - Let’s start out with a quiz: 1. You've been sitting at a red light forever. It finally turns green but the driver in front of you isn't paying attention, probably texting, and the cars in all the other lanes are proceeding through the intersection. Do you: (a) honk your horn; or (b) force yourself to
- [What Are Your Expectations? (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/what-are-your-expectations-three-minute-read/) - "I don't know what my expectations are until they're not met." ~ Chuck LorreI've been dealing with expectations lately, both my own and those of my mediation clients. When considering my personal ones, I don’t often clearly identify the expectation until I realize it hasn't been met. (Thank you, Mr. Lorre.) With my divorce clients,
- [Are You a Scorekeeper?  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/are-you-a-scorekeeper-three-minute-read/) - Are you a scorekeeper? Do you keep track of whether it’s your turn to buy lunch? Do you always do your best to keep a conversation balanced? Do you remember who’s had you over for dinner? Or are you the one who never reaches for the check? Are you the kind of friend who forgets
- [Kids, We're Getting Divorced (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/kids-were-getting-divorced-three-minute-read/) - Telling your kids that you’re getting a divorce is one of the most significant and impactful conversations you’ll ever have, so it makes sense to do the best you can. Even if you haven’t been on the same page with your spouse for ages, it’s extremely important in this situation for you to be in
- [How do you Define Romance? (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/how-do-you-define-romance-three-minute-read/) - Well, it's almost Valentine's Day, a holiday I both love and abhor. I love it because I like to believe I'm romantic, and I abhor it because the day causes inevitable stress for many people whose expectations aren't met. The thing is, if you wait for February 14th to roll around in order to show
- [Taking Away the Car Keys and Other Tough Conversations (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/taking-away-the-car-keys-and-other-senior-issues-three-minute-read/) - What issues might be of concern to your aging parents or grandparents? Maybe one or more of these:1. Care, safety, and comfort.2. Physical situation.3. Sexuality/companionship.4. End of life decisions. 5. Mental capacityWow! Tough stuff. We tend to avoid these difficult conversations, don’t we? But if we’re being truthful with ourselves, burying our heads in the
- [Can Trust Be Regained? (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/can-trust-be-regained-three-minute-read/) - Relationships absolutely require trust. You trust the babysitter who’s keeping your kids safe, and you trust the person repairing your car. You trust that your employees will take good care of your customers, and you trust the instructor who’s teaching your teenager how to drive. And of course, the obvious: you trust your spouse with
- [Humility and the Act of Being Humble (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/humility-and-the-act-of-being-humble-three-minute-read/) - I have a confession to make - I watch "Survivor." I've watched it religiously since it aired in 2000. (Please don't do the math.) It has all the elements of good entertainment, at least to me. There's suspense, potential for danger, potential for romance, good guys and bad guys, and there's a loser every week.
- [Friends With Your Ex (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/friends-with-your-ex-three-minute-read/) - I’ve often wished I could take photos of my divorcing clients who have figured out how to stay friends. I’d frame every picture and hang each one on my imaginary “Hall of Fame Wall.” That being said, what if staying friends with your ex is holding you back from moving on? Here’s a quick true-false
- [Are You a Worrier?  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/are-you-a-worrier-three-minute-read/) - Do you plague yourself with the "what-ifs?" Are you a pre-worrier? Does your mind seem to create the negative list, even when you know it causes you added stress and anxiety? Wait. What? Who me? I think most of us can answer yes to all of these questions. So, here's a concept to consider -
- [Making Amends (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/making-amends-three-minute-read-2/) - Both the ancient Greeks and the ancient Romans used an olive branch as a symbol of peace. The expression, “to extend an olive branch,” is often used as a metaphor for reconciliation. And now as the new year approaches, I tend to think about relationships, especially the ones that have fallen by the wayside, and
- [Making Resolutions (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/making-resolutions-three-minute-read/) - First, let me be perfectly honest. I have no willpower. That being said, I rarely make New Year’s resolutions because I cannot keep them. But maybe 2024 will be different . . .How many times will you be asked within the next week about your New Year’s resolutions? Do you answer by saying you’re going
- [Guilt (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/guilt-three-minute-read/) - I was raised by a Jewish mother. I think that makes me an expert on guilt. Religion notwithstanding, I’m going out on a limb to state that everyone has felt guilty about something. And I think we can all agree that guilt is not fun. So, many of us stay in an unfulfilling, unhappy, or
- [Perfection - It's Not for Me (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/perfection-its-not-for-me-three-minute-read/) - Anybody who knows me will agree that I'm a stickler for proper spelling, grammar, and manners. I’ve been known to reply to random posts on Facebook to point out the difference between “your” and “you’re.” I’ve reminded strangers to say “thank you” to the person who held open the door. Once, I actually waved a
- [I Admit it - I Love a Happy Ending (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/i-admit-it-i-love-a-happy-ending-three-minute-read/) - Until about a year ago, I had never watched a Hallmark movie. It’s not that I’m a snob with high standards. Anyone who knows me will attest to that. And it’s not that I have anything against romance. On the contrary, I absolutely love love. So, for "research purposes" only, I watched a couple. Okay,
- [Supporting an Upset Friend or Partner (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/supporting-an-upset-friend-or-partner-three-minute-read/) - Let's start with a quick quiz:Question 1: Your spouse just got fired. Do you (a) sit quietly and listen to how it all came down, or (b) suggest that he look at the situation from another perspective?Question 2: Your office mate just told you she had sex with her ex and is now unhappily pregnant
- [Pivot! Pivot! (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/pivot-pivot-three-minute-read/) - What comes to your mind when you read the title of this article? Is it the commonly used term for a basketball fundamental? Or is it the "Friends" episode with Ross and the sofa? Dictionary.com had 14 definitions for the word. My favorite is #6: "a change in policy, opinion, product design, etc., that retains
- [You Need to Just Calm Down (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/you-need-to-just-calm-down-three-minute-read/) - Tempers often flare during divorce and custody mediations, so dealing with emotions is a large part of what I do.For example, last year I worked with a divorcing couple who had two kids. According to “Molly,” her husband had a drinking problem. “Mike” admitted that he had a tendency to become angry when drinking. (Between
- [It's All About the Grandchildren (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/its-all-about-the-grandchildren-three-minute-read/) - One of life's greatest joys (I am told) is being a grandparent. It's likely one of the purest expressions of unconditional love, ranking right up there with how your dog or cat feels about you at dinnertime. Pure? Yes. And complicated? Maybe. Especially considering your role as a grandparent when their parents are involved in
- [Taking the High Road (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/taking-the-high-road-three-minute-read/) - Have you ever lost your wallet? Do you remember that sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach at the moment you realized it was gone? You retraced your steps and then contacted the store manager, who told you that it had just been turned in to the lost and found. Your faith in humanity
- [Wiping the Slate Clean (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/wiping-the-slate-clean-three-minute-read/) - As a divorce and family mediator, I sometimes think I specialize in the grudges of others. And I confess, I've had one or two of my own (although seriously, not more than two). Do we forgive and forget? I think not. Forgiveness is easier for me than forgetting. But recently, by way of a dear
- [Can Grief and Joy Co-Exist? (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/can-grief-and-joy-co-exist-three-minute-read/) - “The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain." ~ Khalil GibranFor more than five years, I’ve had the privilege of volunteering for www.AdamsPlaceLV.org, which is a phenomenal non-profit helping children to deal with the loss of a parent or sibling. I work with the adults and have listened to
- [I'm Very Sorry (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/im-very-sorry-three-minute-read/) - Let me tell you about a divorce mediation I conducted with a couple ending their 30-year marriage. “Mary” was determined to share that she had read a text on “Bill’s” phone that she obviously wasn’t meant to see. I let her vent about Bill’s infidelity and looked for any sign of regret or contrition on
- [My Feelings Are Hurt (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/my-feelings-are-hurt-three-minute-read/) - I'll admit it right here and right now. I'm sensitive. I take most things seriously and personally. To be clear, what I’m talking about here is not the Mount Everest of abuse and betrayal. Rather, I’m on the first rung of a small ladder, looking at some of the little things that cause my feelings
- [Do I Talk Too Much?  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/do-i-talk-too-much-three-minute-read/) - Let's start out with a confession: my childhood nickname was "Mighty Mouth." Turns out I'm still a talker. And a writer, which is why I force myself to keep my weekly blogs to a maximum of 500 words. According to Patricia Marx, a staff writer for The New Yorker magazine, "One false word, one extra word,
- [Arguing in Front of the Kids (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/arguing-in-front-of-the-kids-three-minute-read/) - In more than 11 years of being a divorce mediator, I've seen my share of marital arguments. (And I've had plenty of my own.) When my divorcing clients confess to me that they fight in front of their kids, I try not to react, even though it conjures up unpleasant memories of my own childhood.
- [Blackmail: The Emotional Kind (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/blackmail-the-emotional-kind-three-minute-read/) - The clock is ticking. The holidays are fast approaching, and your fuse is as short as daylight in December. You’ve got many things on your to-do list and not enough time or money to get them done. So, you lash out at your partner, finally telling her what you’ve been thinking about for a long
- [Deciding Whether You're Better Together or Apart (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/deciding-whether-youre-better-together-or-apart-three-minute-read/) - In the 12 years I've been a divorce mediator, I’m often asked if couples ever successfully reconcile. There are times when I suggest marriage counseling, and afterwards, I'm happy to say that occasionally my clients decide to stay together. Partners can successfully reinvent their relationship if they're willing to do the work, and if they
- [Personal Accountability (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/personal-accountability-three-minute-read/) - Please raise your hand if you have a definition of "personal accountability." Here's mine: Personal accountability happens when you're willing to answer for the outcome resulting from your choice, your action, or your behavior. I like to think that in most situations, I take personal accountability for what happens, good or bad, from the beginning
- [What Have You Learned Today? (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/what-have-you-learned-today-three-minute-read/) - I make it a point to learn something new every day. It's been a habit of mine for years and started shortly after my mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. Plus, challenging myself is its own reward. Albert Einstein once said, "Intellectual growth should commence at birth and cease only at death." And there's no denying
- [Getting Ready for a Difficult Conversation (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/getting-ready-for-a-difficult-conversation-three-minute-read/) - It’s probably impossible to go through life without having a difficult conversation. Telling your spouse you want a divorce, coming out to your parents, quitting your job, or firing an employee are some obvious examples. Whatever the subject matter, a difficult conversation is — well — difficult. These five steps might help.Step 1: Preparation. Start
- [What's Your Conflict Resolution Style? (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/whats-your-conflict-resolution-style-three-minute-read/) - When I was a kid, l would barricade myself in my room and turn the stereo on full-blast so I couldn’t hear my parents bicker. It had a tremendous (negative) impact on me throughout my childhood. And even after I grew up and moved out, they continued to bicker in front of me. And then,
- [Are Ultimatums Effective? (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/are-ultimatums-effective-three-minute-read/) - During a recent divorce mediation, I learned that the husband had been having an affair. When the wife found out, she demanded that he immediately end the other relationship and get some therapy, or else she was filing for divorce. I think “Minnie” scheduled the meeting with me to show “Mickey” that she meant business.
- [Friendships (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/friendships-three-minute-read/) - My dad had more friends than anyone I've ever known. Friends I didn't even know he had until they showed up at his memorial service. Friends in their 20s and friends in their 80s, and every decade in between. I am very grateful to have had that role model. Recently, I watched an interview between
- [Two of my Favorite Words (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/two-of-my-favorite-words-three-minute-read/) - Every time I hear someone say these two words, I kind of wish I'd trademarked them so I could get credit. Alas, I didn't make up these words. I would not ever be entitled to a residual check for them. Nevertheless, I want to share them with you. So, wait for it. Drumroll. Two of
- [Dealing With Family Drama (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/dealing-with-family-drama-three-minute-read/) - Families don’t look the same as they did 50 years ago. Whether multi-generational, multi-cultural, blended, single parent, two moms, or two dads, diversity reigns supreme when it comes to describing family in the 21st century. Opening up that bag of diversity can expand our sensibilities, and it also can lead to drama. Family drama sometimes
- [Walking on Eggshells (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/walking-on-eggshells-three-minute-read/) - I'm fairly certain that we all have people in our lives with whom conversations pose challenges. Otherwise, why would the expression "walking on eggshells" even exist? Who literally walks on eggshells? Wikipedia's definition is "to be overly careful in dealing with a person or situation because they get angry or offended very easily; to try
- [My Follow-Up Skills Need Improvement (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/my-follow-up-skills-need-improvement-three-minute-read/) - Ask anyone who's in business about the importance of following up, and you won't be surprised by the answer. It's vital. I know this. So why am I challenged by this skill set? Initially, I started researching this topic for self-serving purposes. I learned a lot about what I could be doing better to build
- [Expectation Management 101 (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/expectation-management-101-three-minute-read/) - I seem to be managing expectations lately, my own and those of my divorce mediation clients. When I'm dealing with my own, I don't often clearly identify my expectations until I realize that they haven't been met. With my divorce clients, I am more easily able to see the situation of unmet expectations. As someone
- [No-Fault Divorce - Good or Bad? (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/no-fault-divorce-good-or-bad-three-minute-read/) - Nevada is one of 17 states in the U.S. where divorce is considered "no fault." This means that it's not necessary to cite the reason, such as infidelity or abandonment. In fact, Nevada is one of the easiest states in which to obtain a divorce because of minimal residency requirements (six weeks) and no waiting
- [Can Adoption be a Risk to your Marriage?  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/can-adoption-be-a-risk-to-your-marriage-three-minute-read/) - Couples who adopt are very special. It’s a massive decision with lifetime implications. I think it starts with a “what if …?” and ends with a “let’s do it!” In my mediation practice, I've had to deal with what happens next. You bring the baby, toddler, child, tween, or teenager home and set about making
- [Why Do Now What We Can Put Off Until Later? (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/why-do-now-what-we-can-put-off-until-later-three-minute-read/) - I’ve been thinking that procrastination isn’t necessarily a bad thing. In fact, it’s a human thing. We all do it. So, let’s take a moment to consider the consequences of, and yes, the rewards for procrastinating. That being said, maybe “reward” is too strong a word. How about “immediate gratification?” Imagine it’s Sunday night, and
- [Planning a Family Reunion? (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/planning-a-family-reunion-three-minute-read/) - It’s almost summertime, and the living might not be so easy if you’re planning a Family Reunion. Your checklist is ever-growing, from logistics, to activities, to dealing with all of the colorful personalities that make your family unique. Think you can please everyone? Think again.As in life, communication when planning a Family Reunion is vital.
- [Try Starting Your Sentences With "I" (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/try-starting-your-sentences-with-i-three-minute-read/) - I want you to spend three minutes reading this post. (See what I did there?) Let's start by thinking about how you might handle the following situations:1. Your neighbors leave their dog outside and it barks all night long, keeping you awake.2. A coworker takes her bad mood out on you by yelling at you
- [Building Your Legacy (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/building-your-legacy-three-minute-read/) - I recently lost a brother-in-law to cancer, and a friend to a sudden heart attack. Their deaths affected me profoundly and made me consider the legacies they built and left behind. The literal definition of "legacy," at least according to Merriam-Webster, is "a gift by will especially of money or other personal property." I think
- [Do You Need to Have the Last Word? (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/do-you-need-to-have-the-last-word-three-minute-read/) - In mediation, as well as in my personal life, the people with whom I interact frequently need to have the last word. And I have no problem allowing them to have it because it isn’t important to me. Why isn’t it important to me? Why is it important to them? I decided to do some
- [Can We Talk? (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/can-we-talk-three-minute-read/) - Let me start with a confession - I text like a teenager. Technology in general, and texting in particular help me run my life with efficiency. I can send a text to my friend to tell him I’m running five minutes late, and I can confirm tomorrow’s mediation appointments without having to make a call,
- [Help! I'm Stuck with a Control Freak! (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/help-im-stuck-with-a-control-freak-three-minute-read/) - Am I hitting a nerve? Are you inclined to let control freaks have their way because it’s easier than arguing? That is, until you’ve reached your last nerve and end up losing it over something like a coffee mug! In mediation, one of my primary goals is to make sure the conversations are balanced. That
- [What Triggers Your Emotions? (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/what-triggers-your-emotions-three-minute-read/) - Sometimes I think I could have been a decent actress because I can cry on demand. All I need to do is conjure up a memory about my dad and the tears start to roll. Those memories are emotional triggers for me. During a recent divorce mediation, I used the word “appreciation” and, as it turned
- [Keeping Your Promise - A Few Thoughts About Integrity (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/keeping-your-promise-a-few-thoughts-about-integrity-three-minute-read/) - When we were kids, we cemented a promise with the "pinky swear." As adults, it's about integrity. Long before I read “The Four Agreements,” I understood the first principle of that book, which is to “be impeccable with your word.” I'm concerned that integrity might now be on the decline. For example, several months ago
- [The Importance of Having a Mentor -- Or Being One.  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/the-importance-of-having-a-mentor-or-being-one-three-minute-read/) - Regardless of your age or your education, you’ve probably acquired experience in something. It makes no difference whether you’re a financial advisor or a skilled cake decorator, sharing some of the things you’ve learned can have all kinds of hidden and not-so-hidden benefits.I have had the privilege of mentoring a few young women who started
- [How About Some Green Flags Instead of Red Ones?  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/how-about-some-green-flags-instead-of-red-ones-three-minute-read/) - If you've ever read a magazine or a self-help book, or had a conversation with a close friend, I'm pretty sure the term "red flag" has come up a time or two. Whether it's ridiculous spelling errors in a resume, or a malicious tidbit of gossip you overheard, we sometimes snap to judgment when we
- [How Do You Feel About Change?  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/are-you-open-to-change-three-minute-read/) - My mom liked to move the furniture around. On any given day, and for no particular reason, I’d come home from school to find the living room couch on the opposite wall, or my dad’s recliner somewhere new. Those minor changes in the house made me feel disconnected and disoriented. And I’m only talking about
- [Help! I Don't Want to be an Evil Stepmother (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/help-i-dont-want-to-be-an-evil-stepmother-three-minute-read/) - It's been a few years since your divorce, and you're now remarried. With characteristic optimism, you've started on the journey to co-exist with his children. And with his ex! How on earth are you going to navigate this? This is a complicated, evolving situation, and one that I've encountered many times as a divorce and
- [Never Say Never (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/never-say-never-three-minute-read-2/) - If I had a dollar for every time my mom told me, "Never say never," I'd have a ton of money. Did anyone ever suggest the same to you? There's definitely wisdom in that.When you’re in an argument with your kid, do you find yourself making statements that begin with “You never . . .?”
- [The Psychology of Competition (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/the-psychology-of-competition-three-minute-read/) - I am competitive. It shows up in my day-to-day choices for entertainment, like being an NFL fan and a devotee of the British Baking Championship. I play word games every day, competing against myself or the anonymous online masses. I also sometimes (well, often times) compete on my drive to work, traveling well above the
- [Valentine's Day Isn't for Everyone (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/valentines-day-isnt-for-everyone-three-minute-read/) - I recently had a conversation with my happily married niece. It kind of went like this:Me: What are you doing to celebrate Valentine’s Day?Her: Nothing. It’s a stupid holiday.Me: Why do you think it’s stupid?Her: Because we don’t need a date on the calendar telling us to be sweet to each other.Good talk.A client also
- [Admit It.  We All Gossip (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/admit-it-we-all-gossip-three-minute-read/) - According to dictionary.com, gossip is "idle talk or rumor especially about the personal or private affairs of others." It typically happens outside the presence of the person who is in the spotlight and, like it or not, we all do it. I think we can identify two types of gossip: either it's about people we
- [It's The Little Things (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/its-the-little-things-three-minute-read/) - I love a grand gesture. When I see videos of elaborate marriage proposals or clever invitations to the prom, I marvel at the creativity and effort put forth. And don't even get me started on gender reveal parties or showy flash mobs! I am completely in awe. That being said, I'm actually more impressed by
- [Expressing Emotions (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/expressing-emotions-three-minute-read/) - Take one look at my face and you'll know exactly what I'm feeling. Whether it's joy, pain, frustration, surprise, or anger, I am comfortable showing my emotions. When someone wins a car on The Price is Right, you'll see happy tears rolling down my cheek. When I share a memory about my dad, it's hard
- [What We Do Is Not Who We Are (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/what-we-do-is-not-who-we-are-three-minute-read/) - It's natural to label people by their occupations. She's a cardiologist. He's an accountant. They are teachers. Labeling people by their job titles isn't a bad thing. Judging them for what kind of work they do is, on the other hand, patently unfair. And we all do it. When someone asks me what I do,
- [My Family Looks Nothing Like The Brady Bunch! (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/my-family-looks-nothing-like-the-brady-bunch-three-minute-read/) - Statistics show that one in three Americans is either a stepchild, a stepsibling, or a stepparent. That’s a lot of blended families! Those of a certain age can certainly remember The Brady Bunch, but let’s not forget that it was a fictional family. There are celebrity blended families, such as Bruce and Emma Willis and
- [Do You Make New Year's Resolutions?  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/do-you-make-new-years-resolutions-three-minute-read/) - I'll answer first. I rarely make New Year’s resolutions because I cannot keep them. One year, a friend and I resolved to not eat meat for the entire month of January. I ate a hamburger on January 6th. Obviously, I have zero willpower. How many times will you be asked within the next week about your
- [Is It Time for a New Holiday Tradition? (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/is-it-time-for-a-new-holiday-tradition-three-minute-read/) - Changes happen in life and, as a result, holidays may look different. Whether you've relocated or lost your job, whether you've had a baby or are a newly empty nester, whether you're married, divorced, or in a new relationship, or whether this is the first holiday season since a cherished family member has passed away,
- [My Son-In-Law is in Prison (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/my-son-in-law-is-in-prison-three-minute-read/) - Let me be clear, I do not have a son-in-law, so the title to this post is actually not about me. I was inspired by a woman I recently met at an anniversary party. The second after she told me her name, she added that her newly married daughter was a lawyer, and that her
- [How Important is it to be Right? (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/how-important-is-it-to-be-right-three-minute-read/) - I recently had a conversation with a friend about politics. Imagine that! Well, at least it started that way. What it almost turned into was a shouting match. Good thing I'm a peacemaker . . .Do you know people who raise their voices in order to convince you of something? As though, the more righteous
- [Vent or Solve? (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/vent-or-solve-three-minute-read/) - My name is Nancy, and I am an unsolicited advice giver. I am also solution oriented. As a Mediator, I am tasked with helping my clients to figure things out. In my personal life, I'm responsible for making my own choices. And along the way, I'm hopefully learning the difference between venting or solving, whether
- [Are You Okay? Do We Need to Ask this Another Way (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/are-you-okay-do-we-need-to-ask-this-another-way-three-minute-read/) - Is it okay to simply ask “are you okay?”Maybe we need to distinguish between the physical okay and the emotional okay. Obviously, if your toddler takes a tumble and starts to cry, the first thing you’re going to ask is if he’s okay. (Unless you’re my niece, Lisa, whose first question would be “are you
- [Money Language in Relationships (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/money-language-in-relationships-three-minute-read/) - Partners sometimes speak different languages about money. Whether it’s due to gender, cultural differences, or paycheck inequality, divergent attitudes towards spending and saving can destroy a relationship. In fact, according to many experts, it’s the second leading cause for divorce in the United States (infidelity, however, still comes in first).I practice divorce mediation Nevada, which
- [Balancing Work and Play (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/balancing-work-and-play-three-minute-read/) - Dolly Parton said it best: "Never get so busy making a living that you forget to make a life." I admit it. My life isn't exactly in balance these days. I'm focusing way more time on work than I am on play. And working mostly from home means that I've been known to hop out
- [Dealing With Bad News (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/dealing-with-bad-news-three-minute-read/) - Bad news happens. Whether it's coming down from the Supreme Court, from your doctor's office, or by a text from your kid's guidance counselor, we all have to deal with bad news. Hopefully, though, not too often.My personal strategy depends on the degree of badness. If it's not life-shattering, I'll probably choose to immediately vent,
- [Should You Always Say What You're Thinking?  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/should-you-always-say-what-youre-thinking-three-minute-read/) - Sometimes, the route from the brain to the mouth is like riding a bullet train.Take me, for example. I was meeting with a couple for the first time and the husband mentioned that he wanted to be flexible when it came to spending time with the kids. "Flexible?" I said, "That's my second-favorite F-word!" I
- [Tough Talk About Aging Parents (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/tough-talk-about-aging-parents-three-minute-read/) - Many people I know are dealing with aging parents or grandparents about some or all of these issues: (1) Care, safety and comfort; (2) Mobility; (3) Living situation; (4) Companionship; (5) Sexuality; (6) Mental capacity; and (7) End of life decisions.Wow! Tough stuff. We tend to avoid these difficult conversations, don’t we? But if we’re
- [Self-Care is More Than Just a Bubble Bath (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/self-care-is-more-than-just-a-bubble-bath-three-minute-read/) - What comes to mind when you think of self-care? Getting a massage? Going on vacation? Is it something you brush off because you haven't the time? Do you put everyone and everything else ahead of your own needs and wants? There's a reason why the flight attendant reminds you to put the oxygen mask on
- [Listen ! (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/listen-three-minute-read/) - I think we often confuse listening with hearing. Hearing is involuntary. For those of us with the ability, it just happens. On the other hand, listening is a choice. Imagine you’re a doctor using your stethoscope to evaluate a patient’s heartbeat. You are both hearing and listening, right? Hearing the heartbeat and listening to its
- [The Urge for Revenge (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/the-urge-for-revenge-three-minute-read/) - We've all felt it. We've been betrayed, cheated on, lied to, and hurt. So, our mind starts conjuring up ways to get back, to get even, and to get one up. It's probably a common human emotion. But is it wise? Way back when I was in college, I had to read “Vanity Fair,” by
- [To Be Honest . . . (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/to-be-honest-three-minute-read/) - I don't know whether the three words in this title constitute a new, frequently used expression, or whether the phrase has been used forever and I'm just tuning into it. Regardless, I often wonder if people who start their sentences with to be honest are actually saying that other times they're lying? I'm going to credit
- [Do You Finish Your Story Before It Ends? (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/do-you-finish-your-story-before-it-ends-three-minute-read/) - I know people who step on the punchline when I'm telling a joke. Or get it right when I rhetorically say, "guess who I bumped into at Costco?" Or interrupt me when I pause for dramatic effect. Annoying, right? How about when we do it to ourselves? I sometimes get into my own head before
- [When Well-Intentioned Advice Can Be Confusing (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/when-well-intentioned-advice-can-be-confusing-three-minute-read/) - I'm big on giving advice, especially the unsolicited kind. (In fact, I do it here, every Wednesday morning!) Lately, I don't seem to need advice quite as often as I dish it out, but when I do, I generally first consult Google or YouTube. And once in a while, the information I receive is either
- [Don't Tell Me to Calm Down! (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/dont-tell-me-to-calm-down-three-minute-read/) - As I am sure you can imagine, tempers often flare during mediation and dealing with emotions is a large part of what I do.For example, last year I worked with a divorcing couple who had three teenagers. According to “Jessica,” her husband had a drinking problem. “Jeremy” admitted that he had a tendency to become
- [If I Knew Then . . . (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/if-i-knew-then-three-minute-read/) - "It's easy to be wise after the event." ~ Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. If I had a crystal ball, I certainly wouldn't have gotten married for the first time at the age of 20, and I would have left the marriage sooner than I ultimately did. The thing is, I don't believe in beating ourselves
- [Can This Relationship Be Saved? (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/can-this-relationship-be-saved-three-minute-read/) - My mom used to subscribe to a magazine that had a monthly feature entitled "Can This Marriage Be Saved?" I loved reading those articles because they'd showcase each party's side and then the marriage counselor would weigh in with sage advice. I'm not going to talk about saving a marriage in this article. Instead, I'm
- [I'm So Disappointed! (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/im-so-disappointed-three-minute-read/) - While I was at UCLA, I worked in a law office with a married woman who was about 10 years older than me. The day after every single holiday or gift-giving occasion, she would come to work bitterly disappointed because her husband never did what she wanted him to do. I came to understand that
- [Separate the People from the Problem (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/separate-the-people-from-the-problem-three-minute-read/) - Imagine you’re out walking your dog on a Saturday morning enjoying the exercise and the fresh air when, all of a sudden, he pulls on his leash and starts to growl. Why? Because somebody else’s dog has approached, and that dog is not on a leash. Fortunately, your “Buddy” is well-trained, and you are able
- [Resilience (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/resilience-three-minute-read/) - Throughout my ongoing personal journey of grief and loss, I've discovered that there is a universal commonality. We are all resilient. It's amazing, it's comforting, and it's also mind-boggling. How can we, in the depths of our despair, manage the mundane?In my work with divorcing couples, I try to empathize without sounding condescending. Telling someone
- [Wish I Hadn't Said That (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/wish-i-hadnt-said-that-three-minute-read/) - If you've ever been involved in a heated discussion and found yourself enraged by a single statement, you probably understand that your partner, sibling, colleague or parent knows exactly how to push your buttons, and you likely know exactly how to push theirs. But what does that actually accomplish? Being put on the defensive rarely
- [Does Gender Matter in Divorce?  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/does-gender-matter-in-divorce-three-minute-read/) - This subject comes up from time to time, particularly when I'm having a private conversation with a male client. I tend to wonder about the different ways men and women think about divorce, how they deal with it, and whether the court sometimes has an imbalanced approach to divorce rulings. Of course, every situation is
- [Two Strikes and You're Out? (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/two-strikes-and-youre-out-three-minute-read/) - As much as I'd like to write about baseball today, it's not happening. Instead, I'm going to address the concept of second chances. I wonder whether you've ever asked someone for a second chance, or if you've given one to somebody else. I hope so, and that's because I believe we're all entitled to a
- [My Grandchildren Didn't Get Divorced, Their Parents Did! (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/my-grandchildren-didnt-get-divorced-their-parents-did-three-minute-read/) - What happens to the relationship between you and your grandchildren when their parents are involved in a bitter divorce? How can you stay in the lives of your grandchildren when your negative opinion of their mom (or dad) is well-known? Grandparents can absolutely initiate visitation with their grandchildren without a court order. However, it will require
- [My Family Wants Nothing To Do With Me! (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/my-family-wants-nothing-to-do-with-me-three-minute-read/) - Families are complicated. We all know that. There's nothing quite like grudge-holding, judgmental relatives who gossip behind your back. (Except, maybe, middle-school cliques.) Nevertheless, you want your family members to love and support you. "What did I do wrong?" "How many times to I have to apologize?" "Why are they so mean to me?" These
- [Is a Reconciliation Possible? (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/is-a-reconciliation-possible-three-minute-read/) - Every so often, I get a call from a client telling me that they've reconciled. It's news I'm always happy to hear, especially if they have children and especially if they're willing to do the work. What typically happens next is that a few months later, they call me back to tell me it didn't
- [If You Plant It, They Will Grow (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/if-you-plant-it-they-will-grow-three-minute-read/) - Whether you’re 25 or 65, I'm sure you're good at something (or at least you think you are). It makes no difference if you’re a skilled poker player or an exquisite cake decorator, sharing some of the things you’ve learned can have all kinds of benefits.I have mentored a few young women who started out
- [When You Look in the Mirror, What Do You See?  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/when-you-look-in-the-mirror-what-do-you-see-three-minute-read/) - I recently had a conversation with a friend from junior high. I don't exactly remember what led up to this, although I hope it was profound. I think we were reflecting on things we might have told our younger selves. And he shared his personal mantra of looking at himself in the mirror each morning
- [If It Seems Too Good To Be True ... (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/if-it-seems-too-good-to-be-true-three-minute-read/) - Naive people can get sucked into scams that cost thousands of dollars. Savvy people can also fall victim to a promise that, on its surface, seems legit. Unfortunately, we sometimes forget that IF IT SEEMS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE, IT PROBABLY IS. Take me, for example. I had been looking for a certain brand
- [Decisions, Decisions!  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/decisions-decisions-three-minute-read/) - I know people who struggle over making what seems to me to be the tiniest of decisions - what to order for dinner, what to wear to a party, what to buy mom for Mother's Day. I am on the other side here - I make decisions quickly, and sometimes to my own detriment. Experts
- [It's Easy to Be Blindsided When You're Not Looking (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/its-easy-to-be-blindsided-when-youre-not-looking-three-minute-read/) - I've been a fan of the show "Survivor" since day one. You are probably familiar with the premise, and likely know that it can be a coup for the contestants if they successfully execute a plot to blindside one of their own at tribal council. And what about when it happens in real life? Just
- [Extraordinary Friendships (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/extraordinary-friendships-three-minute-read/) - I recently heard a story about someone being an extraordinary friend, and it made me proud to know her. It also made me want to write about it. I consider myself extremely fortunate for the extraordinary friendships in my life. No matter what labels you use, whether it's Ride or Die, or ICE, or BFF,
- [Doing The Right Thing (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/doing-the-right-thing-three-minute-read/) - Have you ever lost your wallet? Do you remember that sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach at the moment you realized it was gone? You retraced your steps and then contacted the store manager, who told you that it had just been turned in to the lost and found. Your faith in humanity
- [Wait! Let me Explain! (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/wait-let-me-explain-three-minute-read/) - What's the difference between an explanation and a rationalization? Let's start with the dictionary.com definitions for each: Explanation: a statement made to clarify something and make it understandable. Rationalization: the act or process of ascribing one's actions, opinions, etc., to causes that seem reasonable and valid but are actually unrelated to the true, possibly unconscious
- [Moving Back Home (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/moving-back-home-three-minute-read/) - I wasn't surprised to learn that adult children are moving back home as a consequence of the pandemic. Of course, multi-generational homes aren't exactly new news. When my mom and dad first got married, they lived with my grandmother. When the recession hit in 2009, my nephew had no choice but to move his wife
- [Fixing Things (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/fixing-things-three-minute-read/) - We all know that person. The neighbor who thinks she's Judge Judy or the brother-in-law who pretends to be Dr. Phil. They come up with an immediate suggestion for how the problem should be solved, and it typically starts with the words "you need to . . ." I understand those words are backed by
- [Wanna Loan Me Some Money?  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/wanna-loan-me-some-money-three-minute-read/) - It's income tax time which means, at least for some of us, that we're due a refund. For others (like me), a payment is required. But what if you don't have the money? It's not exactly smart to stiff the Internal Revenue Service. Instead, you might ask to borrow the money from someone you know.
- [The Challenge of Asking for Help (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/the-challenge-of-asking-for-help-three-minute-read/) - Your kitchen sink is backed up, so you call a plumber. Your front porch light seems to flicker on and off, so you call an electrician. Yet when you're overwhelmed by the day-to-day business of running your life, you cannot seem to make yourself ask a favor of a friend. Why?I’m one of those people
- [Surprise! You Have Siblings! (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/surprise-you-have-siblings-three-minute-read/) - My grandparents were all Eastern European immigrants, and three out of the four of them died before I was born. Neither my sister nor my brother remembers hearing any stories about life before moving to the United States. And to be perfectly candid, I'm not curious enough to devote the time and money to ancestry
- [Next Time (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/next-time-three-minute-read/) - This is the fourth and final part of a series. It started with Thinking Time, then Decision Time, followed by Coping Time. We're concluding with Next Time, and the star of this article is YOUR INNER VOICE. It belongs to the person who's done the thinking, the deciding, and the coping. Now, it's time to
- [Coping Time + A Quick Quiz (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/coping-time-a-quick-quiz-three-minute-read/) - You've taken time to think, and finally you've made your decision. Now you have to live with it. That's right. It's coping time. Before we get started, please take a moment to answer "yes" or "no" to the following statements: I second guess my decisions more often than I'd like to admit. I've been told
- [Decision Time (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/decision-time-three-minute-read/) - Now that you've taken time to think, the next step is to make a decision. We make decisions multiple times every single day. What to eat, what to wear, who to call, wat time to leave, where to go, what to read, what to watch on t.v., what time to go to bed, etc. That
- [Thinking Time (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/taking-time-to-think-three-minute-read/) - I am a decisive person. I can make up my mind in an instant, and if it turns out that my choice was hasty or wrong, oh well. That's why I've never played chess. I mean, who has the patience to ponder strategy three or four moves ahead? And then somewhere along my journey as
- [Passive-Aggressive Communication (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/passive-aggressive-communication-three-minute-read/) - I recently helped a divorced couple to sharpen their co-parenting skills. Because I'm not a therapist, I focused my attention toward arriving at a better way for each to listen to the other with a goal of reaching an understanding. Ever the optimist, I'm hopeful that they will do a better job communicating with each
- [Are You Really Ready to Divorce?  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/are-you-really-ready-to-divorce-three-minute-read/) - Way back when I was still married to my first husband, it took me four years to gather the courage to file for divorce. I knew for sure that I wasn't going to stay married to him forever, yet I procrastinated, postponing the conversation with myself to answer some tough questions. Now that I am
- [Revisiting the Butt -- Typo Intended (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/revisiting-the-butt-typo-intended-three-minute-read/) - (This blog was originally posted on my website in February of 2019. I enjoyed writing it, and I think the message is worth repeating.) Aha! Admit it, that title caught your attention. I probably should apologize in advance if you thought I was talking about anatomy. I’m actually going to talk about the word, not
- [Feel Like Running Away? (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/feel-like-running-away-three-minute-read/) - Have you ever wondered what would happen to your household if you went A.W.O.L. for a month and moved to the beach? Will your business survive if you weren't there to run it? Maybe you're suffering from what I like to call "the curse of competency." The big question here is why? Why do you
- [Let Go of that Grudge with Dignity (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/let-go-of-that-grudge-with-dignity-three-minute-read/) - I know some world-class grudge-holders. Do either of the following scenarios sound like someone you know? You and your mother-in-law had the fight to end all fights. Granted, it was a long time ago, but it was never resolved. There was no resolution. There wasn’t even an agreement to disagree. Just silence. When absolutely necessary,
- [Are You Feeling Stuck?  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/are-you-feeling-stuck-three-minute-read/) - We’ve all been stuck in a conflict that ends with an impasse. Co-workers who refuse additional responsibility, teenagers who won’t respect a curfew, spouses who “forget” to mention use of the debit card, are just a few typical examples. There are global examples of impasse, too. Take a look at United Kingdom’s potential exit from
- [The Price for Peace (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/the-price-for-peace-three-minute-read/) - It should come as no surprise to you that peace has a price tag. Consider the negotiations between Anwar Sadat and Menachem Begin (the President of Egypt and Prime Minister of Israel, respectively) who signed one of the most famous peace treaties in history on March 26, 1979. Although they won the Nobel Peace Prize
- [Change Happens (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/change-happens-three-minute-read/) - My mom liked to move the furniture around. On any given day, and for no particular reason, I’d come home from school to find the living room couch on the opposite wall, or my dad’s recliner somewhere new. Those minor changes in the house made me feel disconnected and disoriented. And I’m only talking about
- [Is It Too Late to Divorce?  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/is-it-too-late-to-divorce-three-minute-read/) - Over the past nine years, I have helped a surprising number of couples to end their long term marriages, some even after 45 years! This phenomenon has been labeled the "Grey Divorce" (as in older couples with grey hair), and I'm sharing some observations that may address the obvious question: why? Or, even more to
- [Whose Fault Is It?  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/whose-fault-is-it-three-minute-read/) - We all know them. The blamers. The ones who are the quickest to deny responsibility. Instead, they say things like, “the bank bounced my check,” or “I missed the deadline because my assistant’s kid was sick.”When I’m working with my divorce mediation clients, I never ever ask why they’re getting a divorce. Yet it almost
- [Reciprocity (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/reciprocity-three-minute-read/) - Are you a scorekeeper? Do you keep track of whether it's your turn to buy lunch? Do you always do your best to keep a conversation balanced? Do you remember who's had you over for dinner? Or are you the one who never reaches for the check? Are you the kind of friend who forgets
- [Encore About Faking it on Thanksgiving (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/encore-about-faking-it-on-thanksgiving-three-minute-read/) - This is an encore of a blog which I first published in November of 2017, and again in November of 2018, and again in November of 2019. I skipped reposting it in 2020 because I pretty much skipped everything that year. So here it is, back again by semi-popular demand:Do you dread Thanksgiving with your
- [It's Time for a Family Meeting (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/its-time-for-a-family-meeting-three-minute-read/) - Telling your kids that you’re getting a divorce is one of the most significant and impactful conversations you’ll ever have, so it makes sense to do the best you can. Even if you haven’t been on the same page with your spouse for ages, it’s extremely important in this situation for you to be in
- [Has the Power Shifted in Your Relationship? (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/has-the-power-shifted-in-your-relationship-three-minute-read/) - Power shifts in relationships can be perceived in many ways. Take the newlyweds who met in college. The wife was hired for a teaching job with a decent entry level salary, enough to support the couple while the husband attended law school. She worked full-time, paid all the bills, and ran the household while he
- [On Getting the Last Word (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/on-getting-the-last-word-three-minute-read/) - I know at least a dozen people who need to have the last word. And I have no problem allowing them to have it because it isn't important to me. Why isn't it important to me? Why is it important to them? I decided to do some research and, not surprisingly, there are scads of
- [Feeling Guilty?  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/feeling-guilty-three-minute-read/) - I was raised by a Jewish mother. I think that makes me an expert on guilt. Religion notwithstanding, I'm going out on a limb to state that everyone has felt guilty about something. And I think we can all agree that guilt is not fun. So, many of us stay in unfulfilling, unhappy, non-productive relationships
- [Getting Your SH ** T  Together!  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/getting-your-sh-t-together-three-minute-read/) - Maybe you made a New Year's Resolution to get your affairs in order, and you're still procrastinating. Maybe even the thought of "what if?" sends you directly to the refrigerator. Maybe you have other priorities. And maybe you're just plain overwhelmed. Regardless, if you want a concise plan, complete with a checklist, help is on
- [Are Your In-Laws More Like Out-Laws?  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/are-your-in-laws-more-like-out-laws-three-minute-read/) - Divorced couples with children will be a family forever. Only their marital status and their living situations will change. When I remind my clients of this, I usually offer up scenarios where they’ll be together as a family: graduations, birthdays, weddings, holidays, or school performances. And I reinforce that being civil with one another during
- [S.T.O.P. In the Name of Stress Relief (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/s-t-o-p-in-the-name-of-stress-relief-three-minute-read/) - Everybody experiences some stress from time to time. Everyone can also admit to feeling some anxiety. Many of us often get angry. In each and every moment of discontent, we all have the ability to deal with these negative emotions in a positive way. It starts and ends with the way we choose to talk
- [It's Time to Take a Break (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/its-time-to-take-a-break-three-minute-read/) - I am a work in progress. (Aren't we all?) While concentrating on the business of getting through each day, taking good care of my clients and good care of myself, I sometimes find myself in the weeds with no understanding of how I got there. I worry about things that don't improve by the mere
- [Intention vs. Perception (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/intention-vs-perception-three-minute-read/) - When I was in college, I had a poster in my dorm room with the words "I know you think you understand what you thought I said but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant." Credit for the quote goes to Alan Greenspan, the famous economist and former
- [Moving Forward After Loss (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/moving-forward-after-loss-three-minute-read/) - The 20th anniversary of 9/11 was very emotional for me. Although I didn't know anyone who died in the attacks, hearing the names of those who were lost, and listening to the stories of strength and survival inspired me. I also cried a lot. You might be aware that I suffered the loss of my
- [Is It A Good Idea to be Friends with your Ex?  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/is-it-a-good-idea-to-be-friends-with-your-ex-three-minute-read-2/) - I've often wished I could take photos of my divorcing clients who have figured out how to stay friends. I'd frame every picture and hang them on my imaginary "Hall of Fame Wall." That being said, what if staying friends with your ex is holding you back from moving on? Here’s a quick true-false quiz:True
- [We All Procrastinate (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/we-all-procrastinate-three-minute-read/) - I have a confession to make. Throughout this pandemic, I've done very little by way of self-improvement. I feel a combination of envy and disdain when I hear about people decluttering their closets, or starting a new exercise regimen. There are many things I've wanted/needed to accomplish and being at home more has presented me
- [O.Q.P. - It's a Thing (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/o-q-p-its-a-thing-three-minute-read/) - I'm not sure if this is a new thing, but for sure it's new to me. And thank you to my friend, Margo, for introducing it to me.O.Q.P. is an acronym that stands for "Only Quality People." What does that mean, exactly? According to my research, it's a goal to surround ourselves with Only Quality
- [Drama (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/drama-three-minute-read/) - Despite bearing the moniker of "Peacemaker," the very nature of my job requires that I listen to and sort through the drama of others, often rolling my eyes without being noticed. This can be exhausting. Why do some people insist upon creating and/or promoting drama? Maybe their lives are boring, so they want to stir
- [Fight or Flight?  What Is Your Conflict Resolution Style?  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/fight-or-flight-what-is-your-conflict-resolution-style-three-minute-read/) - My parents used to bicker with each other almost every day, and it had a negative impact on me. I would barricade myself in my room and turn the stereo on full-blast so I couldn't hear them. Even after I grew up and moved out, they continued to bicker in front of me. And then,
- [And What About Forgiveness?  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/and-what-about-forgiveness-three-minute-read/) - Let's assume you're on the other end of a sincere apology. What happens next? Will a handshake or a hug be enough? Forgiveness is not easy. It’s a conscious choice, day by day, and sometimes even moment by moment. It’s a commitment, that’s for sure, with some pretty clear benefits: If you believe, as I
- [Two Words:  "I'm Sorry."  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/two-words-im-sorry-three-minute-read/) - I happen to think that a sincere apology is important. Do you agree? We all apologize numerous times each day. There’s what I call the “oops-sorry” apology, when you accidentally bump into someone’s heels with your shopping cart. Also easily recognizable is the “insincere” apology, which often occurs when you insist that your fighting kids
- [If I Don't Do It, It Won't Get Done (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/if-i-dont-do-it-it-wont-get-done-three-minute-read/) - It occurs to me that life is like a giant relay race. So, in the spirit of the 2021 Summer Olympics, I'm going to belabor the analogy of passing the baton. Humor me. Have you ever thought that you're the only one who can do something correctly? That if you ask your sister or your
- [Suddenly, We Are The Aging Parents!  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/suddenly-we-are-the-aging-parents-three-minute-read/) - Wait. What? Our kids have grown up and now we're the ones who are aging? How did that happen? Weren't we watching their soccer games like a minute ago? If you're at all aware of the emotional toll it takes to deal with aging parents, I'm pretty sure you don't want to pass that burden
- [Do I Look Like I Own A Bank?  Loaning Money to Someone You Know (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/do-i-look-like-i-own-a-bank-loaning-money-to-someone-you-know-three-minute-read/) - I think William Shakespeare said it best, “Neither a borrower nor a lender be . . .” [“Hamlet,” Act 1, Scene III.]Of course, that’s pretty much impossible. We have student loans, car loans, and mortgages. Who hasn’t hit up a parent or grandparent for an assist at one time or another? On the other hand, if
- [Our Aging Parents (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/our-aging-parents-three-minute-read/) - If you're fortunate enough to still have your parents around, I'm pretty sure you've had at least a passing thought about your role in their aging process. Perhaps you're already dealing with some of these issues: 1. Care, safety, and comfort;2. Physical situation;3. Sexuality/companionship;4. End of life decisions; and5. Mental capacity We tend to avoid
- [Having a Friend vs. Being a Friend (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/having-a-friend-vs-being-a-friend-three-minute-read/) - Somehow, I've always understood that in order to have a friend, I had to be a friend. And contrary to the opinions of some, they are not the same. Being a friend means showing interest in the things that are going on in someone else's life. Having a friend means trusting that friend not to
- [Expectations Are Matters of Balance (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/expectations-are-matters-of-balance-three-minute-read/) - When we set our expectations too high, we are frequently disappointed. When we set them too low, our standards are often compromised. See what I mean? It's all about balance. As someone who deals with conflict for a living, I have come to the more-or-less obvious conclusion that when others don’t meet our expectations, relationships
- [Alex (or Aaron), I'll Take Personal Questions For $1,000 (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/alex-or-aaron-ill-take-personal-questions-for-1000-three-minute-read/) - The answer is: It's None of Your Business.The question is: What Not To Say When Someone Asks You A Personal Question.People have been asking me personal questions for my entire adult life. Here's the deal: I don’t have children. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been asked why, and to be perfectly truthful,
- [What Does Truth Mean To You?  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/what-does-truth-mean-to-you-three-minute-read/) - Jason was 100% convinced that Emily was having an affair and that she was entirely responsible for the end of their marriage. How was he so sure when he had absolutely zero evidence whatsoever? It didn't matter to Jason because he knew it was true. Is truth absolute? Or is it a perception? Back in
- [Hubris (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/hubris-three-minute-read/) - In my last blog, I talked about being proud of yourself and the benefits of having a healthy dose of self-esteem. Writing on that topic got me thinking about patting yourself on the back to the extreme, otherwise known as hubris.Dictionary.com defines hubris as "excessive pride or self-confidence; arrogance." I'm sure you can think of
- [It's Okay To Be Proud of Yourself  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/its-okay-to-be-proud-of-yourself-three-minute-read/) - I fixed the remote for my ceiling fan the other day, all by myself. (Well, with a bit of help from YouTube.) I didn't have to call a handyman, and I didn't have to impose upon my neighbor. Once the mission was accomplished, I felt very proud of myself. Granted, I didn't find a cure
- [Family Drama (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/family-drama-three-minute-read/) - We all know that families don't look the same as they did 50 years ago. Whether multi-generational, multi-cultural, blended, single parent, two moms, or two dads, diversity reigns supreme when it comes to describing family in the 21st century. Opening up that bag of diversity can expand our sensibilities, and it also can lead to
- [Help!  I'm Living With a Control Freak!  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/help-im-living-with-a-control-freak-three-minute-read/) - Am I hitting a nerve? Are you inclined to let control freaks have their way because it's easier than arguing? That is, until you've reached your last nerve and end up losing it over something like a coffee mug! In mediation, one of my primary goals is to make sure the conversations are balanced. That
- [Mother's Day With a Twist (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/mothers-day-with-a-twist-three-minute-read/) - The second Sunday each May can be a minefield of emotions for those of us who've lost our mothers, and for those of us who aren't mothers. For those of us who ARE mothers and grandmothers, this holiday can be filled with joy, or it can be a source of conflict every year. If Mother's
- [Unscramble Your Money-Talk (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/unscramble-your-money-talk-three-minute-read/) - If you and your partner clearly communicate with each other about your finances and are always on the same page, feel free to stop reading now. Pat yourselves on the back, because you've succeeded where many of the rest of us are challenged. Whether it's due to gender, cultural differences, spending habits, or paycheck inequality,
- [THE CO-PARENTING BILL OF RIGHTS© (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/the-co-parenting-bill-of-rights-three-minute-read/) - Some divorced couples have really figured out how to co-parent in the best interests of their kids. Others? Not so much. So, over a period of several months, I did some research, asked many questions, read books and articles, and then I developed a document patterned after the Bill of Rights (the first Ten Amendments
- [Family Meetings (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/family-meetings-three-minute-read/) - If you're a member of a family, chances are you've participated in a family meeting. Whether you're deciding about toppings on your pizza or which movie to watch, if there's more than one decision maker, somehow a consensus arrives. My dad used to call us to a "Board of Directors Meeting," which made me feel
- [Silver Linings One Year Later (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/silver-linings-one-year-later-three-minute-read/) - It's been a year since a worldwide pandemic was declared, and society as we knew it went into lockdown. We've seen a lot that we never could have imagined in a million years (toilet paper, anyone?) and watched with both terror and sadness as hundreds of thousands of our fellow Americans died. A couple of
- [Burning Bridges (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/burning-bridges-three-minute-read/) - This is a good story related to me by a friend who used to be in management at a big box store. When she was advised by HR that she had to terminate an employee for absences, she wasn't happy about the task at hand. The employee was a good worker, pleasant and respectful. The
- [Going Into Business With A Family Member?  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/going-into-business-with-a-family-member-three-minute-read/) - With the drastic changes we've seen over the past year in the business world, it might be the perfect time to put on your entrepreneur's hat and try something new. And you understand that it might very well take a village (or a rich relative) to turn your idea into a reality. So, you talk
- [Single Again?  Is Online Dating A Good Choice? (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/single-again-is-online-dating-a-good-choice-three-minute-read/) - Dating can be daunting. It no longer begins with a simple, innocent, "meet cute." I'm aware that online dating has been around for a couple of decades, and although I've been widowed for awhile, I've shied away from sticking my toes in that particular pool. So I sought information from that all-knowing resource, Facebook. Because
- [The Importance of Civility (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/the-importance-of-civility-three-minute-read/) - I think I fell in love with the message conveyed by this illustration the first time I saw one of those "co-exist" bumper stickers. Diversity, inclusion, and respect are words that have always had deep meaning to me, and the January 6th attack on our Capitol has made those words all the more important. My
- [Coping Skills (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/coping-skills-three-minute-read/) - For the past few years, I have had the honor of volunteering at Adam's Place, a southern Nevada non-profit group helping children to deal with loss. I work with the adults who have the love and foresight to introduce their kids to the support they can find at Adam's Place. Some of the liveliest discussions
- [Baby Steps . . . Yay Me!  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/baby-steps-yay-me-three-minute-read/) - One of my all-time favorite movies is "What About Bob?" If you've never seen it and want to laugh, do yourself a favor and find it somewhere. This wonderful comedy made me a big believer in the concept of taking baby steps and congratulating ourselves along the way. Yay Me! In our world of instant
- [Is It A Good Idea To Be Friends With Your Ex?  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/is-it-a-good-idea-to-be-friends-with-your-ex-three-minute-read/) - My answer to this question, in a word, is maybe. So maybe I should ask you to take this short quiz: True or false: Our differences in philosophy or religion or politics or etiquette became more and more problematic. True or false: He/she cheated on me and left me for another person. True or false:
- [Our Parents Are Aging (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/our-parents-are-aging-three-minute-read/) - Have you begun to notice a gradual shift in the lives of your parents? Maybe they're asking for help with the simplest of things, or maybe they've stopped doing them completely. Giving up independence might be the most difficult task we face as we age. And although it’s obvious that everyone ages differently, it’s a
- [Mansplaining (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/mansplaining-three-minute-read/) - In case you've never heard of the term "mansplaining," I'll give you an example. A few weeks ago, in response to a question posed by a Facebook friend ("Share something about yourself that not many people know"), I confessed that I've never seen a Star Wars movie. Gasp! Oh the horror! Before I knew it,
- [You'd Better Read This . . . Or Else!  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/youd-better-read-this-or-else-three-minute-read/) - The subject for this article, in case you haven't figured it out, is the ultimatum. I recently met with a couple and learned that the husband had been having an affair. When the wife found out, she demanded that he immediately end the other relationship and get some therapy, or else she was filing for
- [Magical Thinking (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/magical-thinking-three-minute-read/) - Urban Dictionary defines magical thinking as "the belief that one exerts more influence over events than one actually has." Wikipedia likens it to superstitious thinking. I was recently introduced to this concept in a casual conversation with a friend. I'd never heard of it before and it piqued my interest, so I began doing some
- [The One Who Got Away (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/the-one-who-got-away-three-minute-read/) - Do you remember your first real love? I struggle with the answer to this question because sometimes I count the boys I kissed in kindergarten, and sometimes I count the boy I made out with in junior high, and sometimes I count my first real long-term committed relationship that started when I was in high
- [A Few Words About Patience (2 Minute Read -- In Case You're Impatient With My 3 Minute Reads)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/a-few-words-about-patience-2-minute-read-in-case-youre-impatient-with-my-3-minute-reads/) - The popular quote "patience is a virtue" was first used by William Langland in the 14th Century poem, "Piers Plowman." This took me literally 10 seconds to find on Google. I do agree that having patience is a virtue. I also think it's a learned behavior. Through my personal journey, I've been able to figure
- [10 Lessons I've Learned in 2020  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/10-lessons-ive-learned-in-2020-three-minute-read/) - I wish I could brag about learning a foreign language or how to color my own hair. That didn't happen. I also didn't lose weight, amp up my exercise routine, or solve a 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle Nevertheless, I experienced many good things this year. I managed to adapt my business, and I believe I've
- [Holiday Gifts (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/holiday-gifts-three-minute-read/) - "The essence of the custom is that I now have to go out and purchase for you a gift of commensurate value and representing the same perceived level of friendship as that represented by the gift you've given me. It's no wonder suicide rates skyrocket this time of year." ~ Dr. Sheldon Cooper If you've
- [Wants vs. Needs (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/wants-vs-needs-three-minute-read/) - At the end of every year I can remember, I have the same conversation with myself. "Next year, I'm going to figure out the difference between what I want and what I need." I'll admit that sometimes it's a tug-o-war. I tend to rationalize new shoes a lot. Most of the articles I've read in
- [Choosing Peace Over Perfection  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/choosing-peace-over-perfection-three-minute-read/) - Anybody who knows me will attest to the fact that I am a stickler for proper spelling, grammar, and manners. I've been known to reply to random posts on Facebook to point out the difference between "your" and "you're." I've reminded strangers that they should say "thank you" to the person who held open the
- [Help!  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/help-three-minute-read/) - Most of us find it challenging to ask for help, especially now that our world has been turned upside down. Based on personal experience, I can understand not wanting to seem weak or vulnerable, but at whose expense? I mean when my kitchen sink becomes clogged, does it matter if the plumber thinks I'm a
- [Establishing New Holiday Traditions (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/establishing-new-holiday-traditions-three-minute-read/) - Holidays this year are likely to look and feel different with spikes in COVID looming. If the thought of not being with family for Thanksgiving sends your emotions into a tailspin, and opening presents on a Zoom call seems ridiculous, you're probably not the only one who's feeling this way. But look at the bright
- [Finding a Gift Inside the Pain (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/finding-a-gift-inside-the-pain-three-minute-read/) - "I discovered that joy is not the negation of pain, but rather acknowledging the presence of pain and feeling happiness in spite of it." ~ Lupita Nyong'o For more than two years, I've had the privilege of volunteering for Adam's Place, which is a phenomenal non-profit helping children to deal with the loss of a
- [Living With a Narcissist (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/living-with-a-narcissist-three-minute-read/) - Disclaimer: I am neither a therapist nor any other sort of mental health practitioner. That being said, I've heard the term "narcissist" frequently from various divorcing clients -- always about the other person. These accusations led me to do some research about identifying narcissistic behavior in someone else and, of course, how to cope with
- [Teaching Kids to Communicate - And a Refresher Course for Adults (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/teaching-kids-to-communicate-and-a-refresher-course-for-adults-three-minute-read/) - Do you remember being taught how to communicate? I certainly don't. What I remember is being constantly told in school to raise my hand. (I also remember being called "Mighty Mouth.") Nevertheless, I now understand that there's a big difference between talking and communicating. If you're lucky enough to be in charge of shaping the
- [Receiving Appreciation From Others (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/receiving-appreciation-from-others-three-minute-read/) - Last week, I wrote about expressing appreciation in the workplace. I talked about the importance of feeling valued by our colleagues and I listed some ways in which to show that appreciation. To piggy-back off my last blog, now I want to address the fine art of receiving appreciation. Correct me if I'm wrong, but
- [Expressing Appreciation to Colleagues (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/expressing-appreciation-to-colleagues-three-minute-read/) - When's the last time you told your [fill in the blank] that they matter to you? I'm not talking about saying "thank you." That's too easy and too habitual. Nor am I talking about overall general gratitude which, although most definitely a good thing, has become ubiquitous. I'm talking about expressing your sincere and specific
- [IMPORTANT INFORMATION!  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/important-information-three-minute-read/) - If you've watched one minute of television over the past month, I know you've been inundated with political commercials. This candidate is shady, this candidate wants to end social security or increase social security, this candidate wants to raise taxes or lower taxes, this candidate wants to open our borders, this candidate wants to close
- [Grandparents and Divorce (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/grandparents-and-divorce-three-minute-read-2/) - Over the past few months, several of my friends have become grandparents. I've witnessed first-hand the joy and unconditional love showered upon these babies, and I'm thrilled. Over the past few years, I've also witnessed first-hand the anxiety of grandparents who, through no fault of their own, have become estranged from their grandchildren as a
- [What Would YOU Do?  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/what-would-you-do-three-minute-read/) - Yes, I borrowed the title from a television show that sets people up with actors portraying situations of various conundrums. Some of the people do nothing and others actually confront the actors to weigh in on what they're overhearing. And it has me wondering how YOU would handle the various situations I'm about to describe.
- [How is Your Voice Being Heard? (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/how-is-your-voice-being-heard-three-minute-read/) - We all have a voice. We use it in many ways over a single day when we're ordering coffee at a drive-thru, talking on the phone to a client, or chatting with the family at the dinner table. The tone of our voices can vary as well, whether we're adopting the impersonal and more formal
- [YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!!  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/you-cant-handle-the-truth-three-minute-read/) - Most of us remember Jack Nicholson uttering this iconic line in "A Few Good Men." In fact, it won him an Academy Award in 1993. Back then, the truth was an absolute. Now, not so much. If I've learned anything at all from watching cable news, it's that truth is mostly a perception. And we
- [The Importance of Compassion  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/the-importance-of-compassion-three-minute-read/) - Now more than ever, I'm understanding the importance of compassion.Now more than ever, I'm recognizing those people who lack it.First, let's get the dictionary definition out of the way. It is "sympathetic pity and concern for the sufferings or misfortunes of others." Next, I'll add some personal context. Thankfully, I never lost my home
- [Flaky People (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/flaky-people-three-minute-read/) - Has anyone ever flaked out on you? Do you have friends who say they'll help out, be there, do something, and then they don't? I call them "50:50 no-shows" and sometimes I think I'm being a bit too generous. It's frustrating, exhausting, and disheartening to someone like me who's always done my best to show
- [Anger:  Good or Bad?  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/anger-good-or-bad-three-minute-read/) - Ever since Bruce Banner was accidently exposed to gamma rays, he turns into the Incredible Hulk when he gets angry. And he's not the only one. There are a lot of angry people out there. I know this because I deal with them almost every day in my mediation practice. I've learned tools and strategies
- [What's Your Next Chapter?  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/whats-your-next-chapter-three-minute-read/) - This pandemic is forcing people to rethink what comes next. My next chapter started years ago after my husband died and I needed to find a way to earn a living. Maybe you're simply tired of your job. Regardless of the circumstances, considering the options for your next chapter can be pretty scary. What if
- [Silence is Golden (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/silence-is-golden-three-minute-read/) - I get it -- silence is golden. I've heard that statement more times than I can count, likely because I talk a lot. I don't take it personally because I have come to understand the impact of the pause. As a Mediator, my super-power is helping people communicate. Whether face-to-face or virtually, communication is usually
- [Better Together or Apart?  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/better-together-or-apart-three-minute-read/) - I'm often asked if couples ever successfully reconcile. While it's not my job to assist in this regard, I do occasionally see people who decide to stay together. They actually succeed sometimes, if they're willing to do the work, and if they choose to be patient with each other. And patient with themselves. Reconciliation typically
- [The Pendulum Push (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/the-pendulum-push-three-minute-read/) - How do you start or restart a pendulum? You give it a hearty push and it goes all the way to the left, and then all the way to the right, and so on, and so on, until it settles in the middle. I use this analogy frequently in my mediation practice, especially when I'm
- [Partnerships and Politics (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/partnerships-and-politics-three-minute-read/) - Are you a donkey married to an elephant? Do you engage in healthy discussions with your spouse, or do you have the discipline to simply "not go there?" We are living in an era of extreme partisanship, and tolerance isn't always at the forefront, especially within our closest relationships.A few years ago, I volunteered to
- [Communication in the Age of Covid-19 (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/communication-in-the-age-of-covid-19-three-minute-read/) - If you think the topic of communication is boring, redundant, or overrated, I'd like you to immediately find a bathroom and drop your device into the toilet. Seriously. I mean it. Now that I've weeded out the riffraff, permit me to state the obvious. Communication is always important, and now more than ever. We've all experienced
- [What's the Difference Between Sympathy, Empathy, and Compassion? (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/whats-the-difference-between-sympathy-empathy-and-compassion-three-minute-read/) - Raise your hand if you understand the difference between sympathy, empathy, and compassion. Congratulations! It's not the easiest distinction to make, and it will likely come in handy the next time someone close to you is in pain. According to Dictionary.com, sympathy is to have feelings of pity and sorry for someone else's misfortune. On
- [Talking About Consequences (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/talking-about-consequences-three-minute-read/) - As an expert on child rearing (joke -- I don't have kids), I understand that the time-out, the grounding, and the taking away of privileges are all ways to teach children about consequences. Hopefully, when you're practicing consequence-teaching in your own home, you are understanding that each consequence must be meaningful and appropriate, so as
- [Is Your Glass Half-Full?  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/is-your-glass-half-full-three-minute-read/) - A couple of years ago, I posted a blog about having a positive attitude, and I think it's appropriate to revisit this today. I previously shared an epiphany I had as a teenager when I realized that my dad was an optimist and my mom was a pessimist. I thought, way back then, that it
- [Accessibility (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/accessibility-three-minute-read/) - Last week, I wrote about emotional support. I shared my opinions about the importance of providing it even when you're not asked. If, on the other hand, you're able to articulate your own need for emotional support, especially in times of despair, now what? Are you rewarded with an immediate response, or are you forced
- [Emotional Support - What if They Don't Ask? (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/emotional-support-what-if-they-dont-ask-three-minute-read/) - Take a scroll through your contact list or, if you still have one, flip through your roll-o-dex. Is there somebody you know who lives alone? Do you have a friend whose mom is in an assisted living facility? Does your cousin's step-daughter have an addiction? When's the last time you checked in with somebody far
- [It's Messy (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/embrace-the-mess-three-minute-read/) - Right now, there's a monumental mess in our world and I don't think anyone is embracing it. At least, I hope not. The mess started out with a conversation about a virus heading our way, and now it's impacting us in all directions. I envision a gigantic cyclone gathering speed as it's picking up the
- [How Good Is Your Balance?  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/how-good-is-your-balance-three-minute-read/) - I recently watched a documentary on Netflix called "Minimalism." It's essentially about two life-long friends who gave up their six-figure corporate positions to explore a lifestyle of "less is more." They wrote a book, got rid of most of their stuff, and went on a nine-month speaking tour to promote their philosophy. Interesting concept, that's
- [The Silver Linings of Sheltering in Place (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/the-silver-linings-of-sheltering-in-place-three-minute-read/) - After Week #1 of sheltering in place, I started looking for the good things about this awful situation. Channeling my dad once again, because he was the most positive person I've ever known, I began to appreciate things I've overlooked in the past, as well as things that would not have existed if the virus
- [It Doesn't Have to be Perfect!  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/it-doesnt-have-to-be-perfect-three-minute-read/) - Confession: I am not a perfectionist. "Good enough" and "okay for now" are sometimes the highest my bar gets set. On the other hand, I'm absolutely mortified if I find a typo on something I've already sent out. Go figure. I think women have a greater challenge with perfection than men. Why? Are we hard-wired
- [Jealousy vs. Envy (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/jealousy-vs-envy-three-minute-read/) - Do you think the black cat is jealous of the grey cat in the box? Or do you think the black cat is envious? I'm not an expert in feline feelings, but I will tell you that in humans, both jealousy and envy can be intense emotions. We tend to confuse the two because they're
- [Has Your Attitude Changed?  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/has-your-attitude-changed-three-minute-read/) - It's so interesting to me to observe the entire spectrum of my friends' attitudes toward this pandemic. From the virus-deniers ("it's a hoax"), to the panic shoppers ("I'm gonna use it eventually"), to the hazmat suit wearers (even at home), we are all reacting in different ways. Some of us have also changed our attitude
- [Cohabitation in Captivity (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/cohabitation-in-captivity-three-minute-read/) - You're all going through many different kinds of challenges these days, not the least of which is spending 24/7 at home with your spouse and kids. These people are the ones you love the most in the world. They're the ones you'd rescue from a burning building or donate your bone marrow, yet they're also
- [Reality T.V. is My Reality (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/reality-t-v-is-my-reality-three-minute-read/) - I've been watching reality television since way before self-quarantine was a familiar term. Singing competitions, cooking competitions, house-flipping, design challenges, weight loss journeys, love and marriage journeys, pretty much everything except the medical ones (I'm squeamish). I make no apology for what others might label my lack of taste. These shows are mindless entertainment for
- [The Five Stages of Sheltering In Place (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/the-five-stages-of-sheltering-in-place-three-minute-read/) - I recently had a conversation with a dear friend, who pointed out to me that my attitude toward self-quarantine has progressed in much the same manner as one would deal with grief. What a keen observation! With complete transparency, I admit that I spent a relatively long time stuck in the first stage, and I
- [Emotional Triggers (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/emotional-triggers-three-minute-read/) - Sometimes I think I could have been a decent actress because I can cry on demand. All I need to do is conjure up a memory about my husband or my parents, and the tears start to roll. Those memories are emotional triggers for me. Guns and shootings also trigger an emotion in me (which
- [A Few Tips About How to Calm Down (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/a-few-tips-about-how-to-calm-down-three-minute-read/) - The essence of this article was originally posted a couple of years ago for an entirely different purpose. Now, in light of the pandemic occupying all of our thoughts, I think it's become relevant once again. We're all nervous and impatient these days, carrying excess burdens which aren't of our own choosing. So our tempers
- [Time Thievery (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/time-thievery-three-minute-read/) - It should be against the law to steal someone else's time. Wow, I didn't realize how strongly I felt until I actually wrote the preceding sentence! Time matters a lot to me. For instance, I'm obsessively punctual and I have little patience for people who are continually "running a little late." Any professional who gets paid
- [When Friends Disappoint (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/when-friends-disappoint-three-minute-read/) - Being disappointed by a friend has nothing to do with an occasional last minute cancellation of plans, and it also has nothing to do with how to dump an old friend. This time, I'm digging deeper into the expectations we set for our friends. Like you, I've made and lost plenty of friends in my
- [So What?  Who Cares?  What's In It For Me?  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/so-what-who-cares-whats-in-it-for-me-three-minute-read/) - Have you ever heard someone say this? Do you silently toss labels around like "narcissist" or "self-absorbed?" If so, I guarantee you didn't mean it as a compliment. According to Merriam-Webster, the term "self-absorbed" means to be "absorbed in one's own thoughts, activities, or interests." I think good old Merriam should have started out her
- [When Forgiving Doesn't Happen (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/when-forgiving-doesnt-happen-three-minute-read/) - We've all heard the adage, "forgive and forget." I'm pretty sure we've also forgiven and forgotten a time or two in our lives. And you may have read my prior forgiveness blog. Forgiving is important. It also can be irrelevant. Let's say you know someone who has experienced a devastating tragedy. It could be childhood
- [Fixing Broken Trust (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/fixing-broken-trust-three-minute-read/) - Relationships require trust, 100%. You trust the babysitter who's keeping your kids safe, and you trust the person repairing your car. You trust that your employees will take good care of your customers, and you trust the instructor who's teaching your teenager how to drive. And of course the obvious: you trust your spouse with
- [Having an Exit Strategy (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/having-an-exit-strategy-three-minute-read/) - Whether you're about to give notice to your employer or to your spouse, strategically planning your exit means sliding your emotions off to the side while you make a practical "to do" list. This is neither the time nor the place to improvise. Instead, during this last metaphorical mile before your exit, make a plan
- [Can You Negotiate Staying Together?  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/can-you-negotiate-staying-together-three-minute-read/) - When people get married, it's with the belief, the intention, and the hope that their marriage will last forever. And yet stuff happens to cause some couples to abandon that belief, intention, and hope. Others stay together because they've held onto the belief, intention, and hope, and their marriages thrive. So, what makes those couples
- [I Like to Spread Good News (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/i-like-to-spread-good-news-three-minute-read/) - I learned a long time ago to choose optimism, and anyone who knows me will confirm that my glass is always half-full. (Thanks, Dad!) Psychologists generally think that positive and negative emotions cannot occupy our minds at the same time. Therefore, one tends to dominate, and I believe that having a positive attitude is a
- [The Value of Your Value (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/the-value-of-your-value-three-minute-read/) - Just before the end of 2019, a client mentioned that her word for 2020 was "value," and my brain immediately went to work. What happened next was kind of confusing because I didn't exactly know what "value" meant to me. Did it mean money? Did it mean time? Did it mean appreciation? What if the
- [I Will Not Self-Sabotage (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/i-will-not-self-sabotage-three-minute-read/) - How about that for a New Year's resolution? Whether knowingly or inadvertently, we humans sometimes have a knack for sabotaging ourselves. What do I mean by that? According to "Psychology Today," it's behavior that creates problems with our daily life and interferes with our long-term goals. We all do it. I sabotage myself almost every
- [Our Parents Aren't Getting Any Younger (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/our-parents-arent-getting-any-younger-three-minute-read/) - As our population ages, we're seeing older folks everywhere. Seniors are living longer and leading active lives. That is, until things start to change. I frequently talk with families about how roles have reversed when adult children find themselves becoming more and more involved in supervising their aging parents. It’s not an easy situation to
- [Life Is Good (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/life-is-good-three-minute-read/) - As 2019 draws to an end, I'm taking time this year to make my own personal list about why my LIFE IS GOOD. I've chosen to do this instead of making New Year's resolutions, first because everyone makes them and second, because I never keep them. That being said, please don't let me discourage you
- [Tis the Season for Happy Endings i.e., Hallmark Movies (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/tis-the-season-for-happy-endings-i-e-hallmark-movies-three-minute-read/) - I confess that up until a week ago, I had never watched a Hallmark movie. Please don't judge me. It's not that I'm a snob with high standards. Anyone who knows me will beg to differ. And it's not that I have anything against romance. On the contrary, I absolutely love love. So, for research
- [Divorce and Teenagers -- What Are They Learning From You?  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/divorce-and-teenagers-what-are-they-learning-from-you-three-minute-read/) - If you'd like to be a teenager again, please raise your hand. Anyone? Anyone? I didn't think so. Being a teenager is, to say the least, challenging. Add an impending divorce to that complex equation and it can be an invitation for chaos. Next question: were your parents divorced when you were a teenager? Were
- [Making Amends (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/making-amends-three-minute-read/) - Both the ancient Greeks and the ancient Romans used an olive branch as a symbol of peace. The expression, "to extend an olive branch," is often used as a metaphor for reconciliation. And now as the new year approaches, I tend to think about relationships, especially the ones that have fallen by the wayside, and
- [Handling Emotional Blackmail (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/handling-emotional-blackmail-three-minute-read/) - It's the holidays. Your fuse is as short as daylight in December. You've got many things on your to-do list and not enough time or money to get them done. So you lash out at your partner, finally telling him what you've been thinking about for a long time -- that you want out of
- [Random Acts of Kindness (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/random-acts-of-kindness-three-minute-read/) - Two years ago after being inspired by a friend, I posted some nice little tidbit on a different friend's timeline for 100 consecutive days. I had fun doing it until I ran out of friends. Looking back at it now, I'm pretty amazed that I have 100 friends and happy to have had something nice
- [Faking It On Thanksgiving (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/faking-it-on-thanksgiving-three-minute-read/) - This is an encore of a blog which I first published in November of 2017, and again in November of 2018. By popular request (and by popular, I mean three different people asked me), I am again offering you the gift of peace with your family over the holidays. You're welcome. Do you dread Thanksgiving
- [Do You Respond or React?  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/do-you-respond-or-react-three-minute-read/) - Let's start out with a quiz: 1. Somebody cuts you off on the freeway, causing you to slam on your brakes and spill your coffee. Do you: (a) honk your horn; or (b) feel around for some napkins? 2. You've been on hold with your cable company for 20 minutes. Finally a human voice greets
- [I Am Compassionate.  Are You?  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/i-am-compassionate-are-you-three-minute-read/) - I drive past homeless people almost every day. Sometimes, especially when it's raining, I will lower my car window and hand over a dollar. But more often, I confess, I simply look the other way. I guess I'm more compassionate in the rain than I am in the sunshine. I do understand that feeling compassion
- [Who's Under Your Wing?  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/whos-under-your-wing-three-minute-read/) - Whether you're 25 or 65, you've likely acquired experience in something. It makes no difference if you're a skilled poker player or an exquisite cupcake baker, sharing some of the things you've learned can have all kinds of hidden and not-so-hidden benefits. In the "olden days," I mentored a few young women who started out
- [Fertilize Your Relationship (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/fertilize-your-relationship-three-minute-read/) - I think long-term relationships are like a garden. In the beginning, we decide what we're going to grow, we till the soil and we plant the seeds. We pay close attention as the seedlings begin to sprout, giving them the proper amount of sun, water, and food. Sometimes we have to thin out the plants,
- [Chaos in the Cubicle (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/chaos-in-the-cubicle-three-minute-read/) - I used to work in a cubicle. It was at the apex of the office, and people passed by me all day long. I'm usually friendly, so when my co-workers stopped to chat, I generally enjoyed the engagement. Occasionally, I was called out on this behavior during my performance reviews, to which I would sheepishly
- [Take a Breath, Slow Down (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/take-a-breath-slow-down-three-minute-read/) - As we are becoming more and more dependent on the instant gratification of checking with Google (or Siri, or Alexa), I wonder if our own impatience can be causing harm. Raise your hand if you've recently found yourself doing any of the following: Interrupting someone Monopolizing the conversation Providing unsolicited advice Abruptly changing the subject
- [IT WORKS FOR ME (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/it-works-for-me-three-minute-read/) - The other day when I was clearing out some notes on my phone, I came across a sentence I'd entered more than a year ago. I don't know whether it was derived from someone else's words or from my own, so I'm going to take credit for it. This is the sentence: Just because things
- [Three Types of Revenge (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/three-types-of-revenge-three-minute-read/) - I know I addressed this subject a few years ago. While I'm not surprised at how often my clients speak of "revenge" during a divorce mediation, I'm kind of embarrassed that it's taken me a long time to revisit the topic. In the State of Nevada where my mediation practice is located, divorce is what
- [I'm Worried (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/im-worried-three-minute-read/) - Ok, that's a lie. I am not a worrier. I can't exactly explain how I got that way, or whether it's a good idea or a not-so-good one. Worrying is a form of self-protection. It's an important and instinctive emotion that morphs into action so that we take reasonable precautions. If we're concerned that it
- [Are You Enabling Your Adult Child?  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/are-you-enabling-your-adult-child-three-minute-read/) - Psychologists define an enabler as "someone who allows poor choices and decisions to continue despite knowing that those choices can be harmful to the other person." Could the psychologists be describing you? I know you think you're simply being a parent, and that you're showing your love in the best way possible. So let me
- [It's A Shame (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/its-a-shame-three-minute-read/) - My earliest memory of feeling shame was when I wet my pants at the library. I was four years old, and my mom left me in the children's section (back when it was okay to do that). I had to pee and I couldn't find anyone to show me to the bathroom. The memory still
- [What Does Your Family Look Like?  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/what-does-your-family-look-like-three-minute-read/) - Boy, oh boy, have I seen a lot of different types of families! One of the things I love the best about being a Mediator is that no two days are alike. And I've come to realize that no two families are alike. Traditionally, families were classified as either nuclear -- father, mother, and children;
- [Are You Good With Names?  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/are-you-good-with-names-three-minute-read/) - My Dad was somewhat of a savant. The fact that he could be counted on to count everything always amazed me. Just like Dustin Hoffman's iconic "Rainman," my Dad memorized statistics. What was more amazing was his ability to remember names. I wish I would have asked him how he managed that, and more importantly,
- [The Power of Choice (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/the-power-of-choice-three-minute-read/) - I had an epiphany the other day. Confession: I don't get them often, but when I have one, I need to write about it. When you read this, you may think that I'm preaching to the choir, or that my self-proclaimed flash of brilliancy is not very brilliant. Fair enough. I'm going to share anyway.
- [Never Say Never (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/never-say-never-three-minute-read/) - I once drove a Dodge station wagon with faux wood paneling. Enough said. Now that I've confessed to you, it's your turn. When you're in an argument with your kid, do you find yourself making statements that begin with "You never . . .?" I think we all do. I was working with a divorcing
- [My Daughter-in-Law is Rude! (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/my-daughter-in-law-is-rude-three-minute-read/) - Let me start by stating that not all daughters-in-law are rude, and not all mothers think nobody is good enough to marry their sons. I happen to have a terrific relationship with my mother-in-law, and I know of many others who do as well. End of disclaimer. According to Dictionary,com, the first definition of "rude"
- [Neighbors and Boundaries (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/neighbors-and-boundaries-three-minute-read/) - The first house I ever bought was in a brand new development. Eager to meet the neighbors and fantasizing about borrowing a cup of sugar, I was shocked to learn that their main priority was to figure out what kind of fence we all wanted. Fences? What about the cup of sugar? Well, I was
- [May I Please Have Some Change?  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/may-i-please-have-some-change-three-minute-read/) - Charles Darwin once said, "It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one that is most adaptable to change." I know for a fact that Mr. Darwin was not referring to me. I also know that our fear of change is what causes us
- [Going Into Business With a Friend?  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/going-into-business-with-a-friend-three-minute-read/) - I've started two businesses with friends. One ended amicably. The other? Not so much. If I knew then what I know now . . . famous last words, right? Now that I'm a Mediator and have conducted many business mediations, I've seen a lot of what works and what doesn't. If you've reached that light
- [You Need To Stop Saying This!  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/you-need-to-stop-saying-this-three-minute-read/) - I've been wanting to dig deeper on this particular expression for awhile; long before I first heard Taylor Swift's song, "You Need to Calm Down." Can you guess what it is? If you said anything resembling "you need to," give yourself an A+. Unless you're Judge Judy, I strongly urge you to delete that phrase
- [Are Real Conversations Becoming Extinct?  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/are-real-conversations-becoming-extinct-three-minute-read/) - I am not a dinosaur. I love technology. It makes my life run more efficiently. I can send a text to tell my friend I’m running five minutes late, and I can confirm tomorrow’s appointments without having to make a call, wait for an answer, or be required to leave a voicemail. On the other
- [Staying Put (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/staying-put-three-minute-read/) - Which takes more effort, staying in a relationship or ending it? In my last post, I talked about the challenges of ending a relationship. Staying in one can also be a challenge. I've read dozens and dozens of articles, each claiming to reveal the secret to staying together. Yet not a single one told me
- [Should I Stay or Should I Go?  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/should-i-stay-or-should-i-go-three-minute-read/) - Making the decision to end a relationship can be more challenging than actually ending it. This is true whether you're thinking about ending your marriage, quitting your job, or selling your house. And if you're indecisive by nature, the choice can be brutal. After more than seven years of practice as a divorce mediator, I've
- [How to Win an Argument (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/how-to-win-an-argument-three-minute-read/) - I'm not supposed to tell you this. I'm giving away some (but not all) of the secret techniques used by Mediators. You'll probably want to thank me later. For now, please read on. Obviously, we all want to win our arguments. We want to be told "you're right," and we want to feel self-important and
- [How Many Friends Do You Have?  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/how-many-friends-do-you-have-three-minute-read/) - A recent survey conducted by Evite concluded that adults find it difficult to make new friends. In fact, the survey indicated that the average American adult hasn't made a new friend in five years! Evite reported that we have 16 friends: three for life, five we really like, and eight we like but don't spend
- [Should I Say Something?  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/should-i-say-something-three-minute-read/) - I recently experienced a very awkward moment when I bumped into my neighbor's husband at a Caesar's Palace cocktail lounge. I saw him canoodling (that word kinda grosses me out) with a woman half his age. We made eye contact and then I continued on my way. In my professional life as a divorce mediator,
- [My Nominees for the Co-Parenting Award (Three Minute Read - Then Please Vote)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/my-nominees-for-co-parenting-awards-three-minute-read/) - Splitting up with the parent of your kids is an extremely difficult decision. I respect the rough road my clients embark upon when they're choosing to end the relationship. And as I remind them time after time, "you're going to be a family forever." I want to make sure my clients understand that the choices
- [Do Your Parents Have a Will?  Do You Know What's In It?  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/do-your-parents-have-a-will-do-you-know-whats-in-it-three-minute-read/) - "It's none of your business," is what my friend's mother said when he asked to see her Will. He was not only offended, he was furious! And, as he confided to me, he was terrified by her secrecy. What wasn't she telling him? If you're dealing with aging parent issues, you've got plenty of company.
- [Is It Possible to Mediate With Yourself?  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/is-it-possible-to-mediate-with-yourself-three-minute-read/) - Remember when The Great Gazoo gave Fred Flintstone advice? I've tried to channel that inner voice and, for some reason, Gazoo has yet to appear It's not a bad thing, however, because Gazoo usually gave Fred and Barney the kind of suggestions that got them into trouble. So, instead of relying on Gazoo, I often
- [Starting a New Business Partnership?  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/starting-a-new-business-partnership-three-minute-read/) - You’ve had four dozen breakfast meetings, numerous enthusiastic phone conversations, and you know you’re both completely in sync about your plans, goals, and vision. Now is the time to actually start that business you’ve been talking about forever. Is the first step getting a business license? Forming a legally-sanctioned entity? Renting office space? Seeing a
- [It's So Annoying!  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/its-so-annoying-three-minute-read/) - If I made a list of the things that annoy me, I could be writing for days and days. Well, maybe not days, but I'm certain that this post would be way longer than a three minute read. Do you feel the same way? I've been wondering whether I need some hypnosis, or behavioral modification,
- [If You Don't Say It, I Can't Hear It (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/if-you-dont-say-it-i-cant-hear-it-three-minute-read/) - Raise your hand if you wish you had a magic crystal ball. Newsflash: I'm not a mind reader. If you want me to start doing something, stop doing something, do it more often, or do it less often, you're going to have to say something. Your passive-aggressive behavior is simply not going to get you
- [Ask for Thinking Time (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/ask-for-thinking-time-three-minute-read/) - Did you know that there are three answers to any request? They are: Yes, No, and I'll Think About It. Yet for some reason, we tend to dismiss the third option and instantaneously go for either the yes or the no. I am usually quick to say yes, and then after I've thought about it
- [Do You Toot Your Own Horn?  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/do-you-toot-your-own-horn-three-minute-read/) - When my big brother was running for third grade class president against Ellen Freedlander, the vote was conducted by the heads-down, eyes-closed, raise-your-hand method. Afraid he'd be caught voting for himself, my brother cast his vote for Ellen and guess what? She won by one vote! On the other hand, we've all known a blowhard
- [Are You Suffering From the Curse of Competency? (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/are-you-suffering-from-the-curse-of-competency-three-minute-read/) - Am I the only person who thinks competency can sometimes be a curse? There's certainly a distinction between being capable and being amenable. Just because I know how to make a chocolate souffle doesn't mean I'm willing to make one for your kid's birthday party. (An exaggerated example, I know. I'm simply trying to make
- [Are You The Controller or the Controlled?  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/are-you-the-controller-or-the-controlled-three-minute-read/) - Do you have possession of the remote? What about the finances? The calendar? I believe that in most healthy relationships, the control winds up balanced -- decided by aptitude or by enthusiasm. In my divorce mediation practice, it's sometimes obvious within the first few moments that one party or the other is in control. It
- [Do You Need to Avoid These Words?  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/do-you-need-to-avoid-these-words-three-minute-read/) - I recently posted an article devoted entirely to the use of the word "but." Since that article was published, my colleagues, friends, relatives, and readers have steered me toward an ever-growing list of other words or expressions that cause angst, annoyance, and a lot of emotions in between. In the spirit of my passion for
- [Handling Disappointment (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/handling-disappointment-three-minute-read/) - Last week was Valentine's Day and I hope, at the end of the day, you weren't disappointed. I know that some of us are more romantic than others, some of us are not currently in a love relationship, and some of us think Valentine's Day is a Hallmark holiday; i.e., one created by retailers to
- [Asking for Help (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/asking-for-help-three-minute-read/) - I'm one of those people who finds it difficult to ask for help. As an independent woman, I don't want to be perceived as needy or weak, so I tend to either do it myself, pay someone to help me, or simply forget about it. Does this sound like you? There are many, many reasons
- [A Few Words About Buts (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/a-few-words-about-buts-three-minute-read/) - Aha! Admit it, that title caught your attention. I probably should apologize in advance if you thought I was talking about anatomy. I'm actually going to talk about the word, not the body part. So, if you're game to read more, I'd like you to think about these statements: 1. I'm sorry I raised my
- [What If They Won't?  How to Deal with an Impasse (3 Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/what-if-they-wont-how-to-deal-with-an-impasse-3-minute-read/) - We've all been stuck at an impasse. Co-workers who refuse an additional responsibility, teenagers who won't respect a curfew, spouses who "forget" to mention use of the debit card, are just a few typical examples. There are global examples of impasse, too. Take a look at United Kingdom's potential exit from the European Union. Or,
- [Let Me Out!  How to Tell Your Other Half That It's Over (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/let-me-out-how-to-tell-your-other-half-that-its-over-three-minute-read/) - There are many difficult conversations, but probably none as tough as telling your spouse you want a divorce. If you've ever had to tell someone that the relationship is over, or if you've ever been on the receiving end of this talk, you know what I mean. I've personally been on both sides, and neither
- [Blended Families (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/blended-families-three-minute-read/) - Co-parenting with your ex and his/her new spouse
- [Are You Okay? Try Asking Another Way (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/are-you-okay-try-asking-another-way-three-minute-read/) - Is it okay to simply ask "are you okay?" Maybe we need to distinguish between the physical okay and the emotional okay. Obviously, if your toddler takes a tumble and starts to cry, the first thing you're going to ask is if he's okay. (Unless you're my niece, Lisa, whose first question would be "are
- [Lawn Mower Parenting (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/lawn-mower-parenting-three-minute-read/) - We all know a helicopter parent (one who hovers) and a tiger mom (one who roars), but now there's a new type of parent, the lawn mower. The first time I'd ever heard this term was in a divorce mediation when the husband accused his wife of lawn mower parenting. I had to ask, and
- [Giving Thanks and Looking Forward (2-1/2 Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/giving-thanks-and-looking-forward-2-1-2-minute-read/) - In this, my last post for 2018, I want to get personal. No attempts at wisdom here, and no suggestions to help avoid or resolve conflicts. Instead, I'm writing about what matters to me, and what motivates me to improve. In a single word -- relationships. The relationships in my life occupy virtually all of
- [Loneliness in Relationships   (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/loneliness-in-relationships-three-minute-read/) - I have a friend whose husband sits in his recliner chair from the time he gets home from work until the time he goes to bed. She serves him dinner, fetches his beer, and hands him the remote control as soon as he sits down. She calls the circumference around the recliner his "island," and
- [Figure Your Trigger (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/figure-your-trigger-three-minute-read/) - I know we're all supposed to love the holidays, and I understand it's a season of joy and giving, but sometimes, some things, and some people seem to piss me off more during this time than any other time in the year. Anyone with me? In this article, I am not going to talk about
- [Blame vs. Repair (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/blame-vs-repair-three-minute-read/) - I used to work for an attorney who I'll call "Leonard the Lunatic." I must confess, I learned a lot from him, not the least of which was to love the Oxford comma. But I digress. Leonard the Lunatic was very quick to blame anyone and everyone. And one of the things he taught me,
- [Are You Lying to Yourself?  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/are-you-lying-to-yourself-three-minute-read/) - That small order of french fries won't hurt. Having a second glass of red wine means twice the antioxidants. I'll apologize next time I see him. These are some of the many lies I tell myself. Harmless? What do you think? In my mediation practice, I help people talk to each other. I also teach
- [Grandparents and Divorce (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/grandparents-and-divorce-three-minute-read/) - What happens to the relationship between you and your grandchildren when their parents are involved in a bitter divorce? How can you stay in the lives of your grandchildren when your negative opinion of their mom is well-known? And can you do this without going to court? I will answer my last question first. Grandparents can
- [Are  You Willing to Fake it on Thanksgiving? (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/are-you-willing-to-fake-it-on-thanksgiving-three-minute-read/) - It's almost Thanksgiving and back by popular demand, is my perspective on how to get through the holiday with some of your less-than-favorite people, the relatives. You might think there are only two options: avoidance or confrontation. But in true peacemaker form, I’d like to propose another option: would you be willing to fake it?
- [Boundaries (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/boundaries-three-minute-read/) - I have a difficult time setting boundaries. As a result, I feel under-appreciated at best, and downright taken for granted at worst. Why is this so hard for me? Is it because of my birth order (youngest of three)? Is it because I like to think I'm a genuinely nice person? In my Divorce Mediation
- [Five Reasons to Mediate the End of Your Relationship (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/five-reasons-to-mediate-the-end-of-your-relationship-three-minute-read/) - Recently, I was asked to list the top five reasons why mediation was a good choice to navigate the end of a relationship. Here's my response: Reason Number 5: You can choose to have an attorney present at the mediation, and/or to review your agreement before you sign. It's a fairly common assumption that when
- [Labels (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/labels-three-minute-read/) - Some labels are important. After all, I don't want to grab a Merlot when I'm really looking for a Pinot Noir. But other than the important ones (like those on wine bottles), I dislike labels. I don't like the scratchy ones on the inside of my t-shirts, and I don't like the itchy ones on
- [THIS IS REALLY IMPORTANT (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/this-is-really-important-three-minute-read/) - If you've watched one minute of television in the last month, you've been inundated with political commercials. This candidate is shady, this candidate wants to end social security, this candidate wants to raise property taxes. Blah, blah, blah. I tune it all out. And it completely appalls me when I think about how much money
- [If T.V. Shows Can Reboot, So Can We! (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/if-t-v-shows-can-reboot-so-can-we-three-minute-read/) - In case you haven't noticed, old television shows are coming back in prime time, but with a new flair. Will & Grace, Murphy Brown, Magnum P.I., and Miami Vice are on the list. It's inspired me to think about the whole concept of a reboot. First, let's define the term beyond the obvious restarting of
- [Planning vs. Spontaneity (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/planning-vs-spontaneity-three-minute-read/) - I confess, spur-of-the-moment isn't my favorite flavor. I seldom do anything at the last minute. On the contrary, I plan my work, my meals, my wardrobe, my errands, and my social life. I use three separate calendars. Does that make me obsessive-compulsive? An over-thinker? A worrier? A nerd? All of the above? None of the
- [We All Have Our Priorities (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/we-all-have-our-priorities-three-minute-read/) - I want to talk about priorities. We all have them. What I'm wondering is how you prioritize yours? Do you make lists, schedule due dates, and calmly proceed? Or are you frequently overwhelmed by all the things you have to do? And most problematic, do you ever get so overwhelmed that you become paralyzed? As
- [Having a Positive Attitude (3 Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/having-a-positive-attitude-3-minute-read/) - When I was 13 years old, I had an epiphany. While listening to my mom and dad bickering, I observed that my mom was a pessimist and my dad was an optimist. I decided in that moment to be more like my dad. I chose optimism, and pretty soon thereafter, it wasn't a choice anymore.
- [Have Some Patience (It's only a 3 minute read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/have-some-patience-its-only-a-3-minute-read/) - Google's dictionary defines patience as "the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset." And there was my photograph right beside the definition! Just kidding. I have been told that I'm an extremely patient person. and mostly I think that's true. Except when I'm driving, but I'll save my rant
- [Persistence (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/persistence-three-minute-read/) - Last week, I FINALLY finished and published my blog about procrastination. Your comments were very insightful. Now, I'm going share some thoughts about persistence, which is pretty much an opposing concept. "I never gave up," a dear friend said to me as she was reflecting on the year she spent battling cancer. Good thing. "Be
- [I'll Do It Later  (Three Minutes on Procrastination)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/ill-do-it-later-three-minutes-on-procrastination/) - I've been meaning to write about procrastination for months, and I'm finally getting around to it. And I've been thinking that procrastination isn't necessarily a bad thing. In fact, it's a human thing. We all do it. So let's take a moment to consider the consequences of, and yes, the rewards for procrastinating. Rewards, you
- [Divorce Doesn't Have to Get Ugly (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/divorce-doesnt-have-to-get-ugly-three-minute-read/) - I recently heard a quote that really resonated: "Love your kids more than you hate your ex." Although I've seen a fair share of hatred in my divorce mediation practice, I've also seen a lot of respect. Which brings me to this week's topic -- divorce doesn't have to get ugly. We all know people
- [Ride or Die:  A Few Thoughts About Loyalty (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/ride-or-die-what-does-loyalty-mean-to-you-three-minute-read/) - Loyalty is important in all relationships, not just romantic ones. It factors into your business life, your friendships and, quite significantly, yourself. However you define it in your own life, the benefits of loyalty are unlimited. In business, I believe that loyalty deserves respect. Whether you're a long-term employee or a genuine referral source, your
- [I Thought I Was Done Raising Kids!  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/i-thought-i-was-done-raising-kids-three-minute-read/) - Grandparenting, I'm told, is one of life's greatest joys. I've personally witnessed the unconditional love of a grandparent for a grandchild, and vice versa. It's happy stuff. Mostly. But what if it isn't? I've also seen people who, due to unforeseen circumstances, have no choice but to take their grandchildren in and raise them. Situations
- [Can You Sue The Person Who Broke Up Your Marriage? (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/can-you-sue-the-person-who-broke-up-your-marriage-three-minute-read/) - I recently read a news story out of North Carolina, where "the other man" was found liable for the break up of a high-profile marriage, and was assessed damages in excess of $8 million. It's called Alienation of Affection, and it's the law of the land in seven states. If the jilted spouse can prove
- [My Brother and I Disagree About Our Mom (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/my-brother-and-i-disagree-about-our-mom-three-minute-read/) - If you have yet to experience any challenges as your mom and dad get older, buckle up. I've written a lot about aging parent issues. How to start conversations with your parents about their driving, their living situations, and their health, to name a few. I've written about sharing this responsibility with your siblings. Is
- [5 Steps to Help You Have a Difficult Conversation (3 Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/5-steps-to-help-you-have-a-difficult-conversation-3-minute-read/) - It's probably impossible to go through life without having a difficult conversation. Telling your spouse you want a divorce, coming out to your parents, quitting your job, or firing an employee are some obvious examples. Whatever the subject matter, a difficult conversation is -- well -- difficult. These five steps might help. Step 1: Preparation.
- [Fear vs. Respect (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/fear-vs-respect-three-minute-read/) - I often meet with couples who are getting a divorce primarily because they have opposite parenting styles. I've met with the fun mom and the strict dad, the fierce dad and the nurturing mom, as well as the taskmaster mom and the Disneyland dad. Recently, I met with a couple whose divorce situation has motivated
- [First Meeting with a Biological Relative (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/first-meeting-with-a-biological-relative-three-minute-read/) - I recently heard a story about a man who was contacted for the first time by his adult daughter, completely out of the blue. He hadn't seen her in 35 years, when all of a sudden, there was a knock on his door. (Okay, not literally. But close.) In any event, this situation was awkward
- [What if Someone Says This to You?  (Part 2) (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/what-if-someone-says-this-to-you-part-2-three-minute-read/) - Last week, I gave you a list of 10 statements to start removing from your repertoire. Here are some ideas about what to say if you're on the receiving end of one or more of those statements: 1. You never . . . or you always . . . Try to see it from the other person's perspective
- [Delete These 10 Statements from your Playbook (Part 1) (3 Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/delete-these-10-statements-from-your-playbook-part-1-3-minute-read/) - Sorry about the long title. Believe me, I could have made it even wordier... So here's a list of statements that won't work. Please remove them immediately from your playbook. And next week, I'll tell you how to respond if someone says any of these things to you. 1. You never . . . or
- [Need Help with Something? (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/need-help-with-something-three-minute-read/) - "The best advice I can give anyone going through a rough patch is to never be afraid to ask for help." ~ Demi Lovato When I have a toothache, I get help from my dentist. My CPA helps prepare my income tax return. And if my car has a dead battery, I call for roadside
- [Surviving Your Family Reunion (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/surviving-your-family-reunion/) - It's summertime, and the living might not be so easy if you're planning a Family Reunion. Your checklist is ever-growing, from logistics, to activities, to dealing with all of the colorful personalities that make your family unique. Think you can please everyone? Think again. As in life, communication when planning a Family Reunion is vital.
- [You're Both Retired . . . Now What? (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/youre-both-retired-now-what-three-minute-read/) - Many couples I know are retired and, as an observer of relationships, I am interested to see how they navigate through this new chapter of their lives. Some couples do it really well and others seem to hate each other. Many of the latter, believe it or not, end up in my office negotiating the
- [Having an Office Romance?  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/having-an-office-romance-three-minute-read/) - I'm going to try to tackle this complicated issue by dealing with it from two perspectives: the business owner and the employee. If you're the business owner and you haven't established guidelines for your staff, do something immediately. Find a knowledgeable human resources person to help create your company's policy and put it in writing.
- [Divorce in the Movies (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/divorce-in-the-movies-three-minute-read/) - Movie makers have been entertaining us with divorce stories for many decades. Fortunately, in my divorce mediation practice, I rarely witness the knock-down, drag-out fights depicted in cinema, and that's mainly because my clients come to me in the spirit of cooperation. But believe me, I know plenty of people who have bitter war stories of
- [Family Secrets (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/family-secrets-three-minute-read/) - Family secrets are powerful. They can create a strong bond or they can be divisive. And for some reason, they aren't usually insignificant. Affairs, abuse, addiction, mental illness, and even arrests are giant secrets that family members can be forced to keep. And while a family secret might bring siblings closer together, there are risks
- [Some Thoughts on Reinvention and Identity (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/some-thoughts-on-reinvention-and-identity-three-minute-read/) - I've reinvented myself several times. After the death of my parents and my husband in a 20-month time span, I reinvented myself on a massive scale. No longer a daughter or a wife, for the first time ever I was just ME. I floundered for awhile before arriving at one of the best decisions I've
- [Conflict:  Love It or Hate It?  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/conflict-love-it-or-hate-it-three-minute-read/) - One of you likes to pick fights. It's the stimulation, the mental ping-pong match, the surge of adrenaline when you win. The other of you avoids conflict like it's your close-talking, garlic-breathing uncle. Why? What makes us so black and white (or red and blue) when it comes to disagreements? Where does our love/hate relationship
- [You're At an Impasse.  Now What?  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/youre-at-an-impasse-now-what-three-minute-read/) - Whether you're negotiating a real estate deal or which movie to see, occasionally you're going to encounter an immovable force. You want to get your way but it's not looking good. Do you cave? Will you seem weak? Do you push? Will your actions be perceived as overly aggressive? While this may seem obvious, the
- [It's a Shame (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/its-a-shame/) - Despite all the news about cyber-bullying, shaming is not only a social media phenomenon. I can trace it back to my childhood, when my kindergarten teacher, Miss Vandezandee, shamed me in front of the whole class. I told her that I'd squashed a worm on my way to school, and she pretty much labeled me
- [Dealing With A Control Freak (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/dealing-with-a-control-freak-three-minute-read/) - We all know someone who insists on showing us what, where, how, and why to do something. They will insist that they're not trying to assert control, and rationalize that it's just common sense. Their way is simply better. In the realm of picking your battles, it's sometimes easier to let a control freak win.
- [The Benefits of Divorce Mediation (3 Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/the-benefits-of-divorce-mediation-3-minute-read/) - If you haven't read last week's blog about how to prepare for divorce, please take an extra few minutes to read it now. Thank you. Okay, you're ready to move forward. Now what? Are you thinking about mediation? Are you and your soon-to-be ex able to be in the same room with each other for
- [Divorce Preparation 101 (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/divorce-preparation-101-three-minute-read/) - You've decided to end your relationship and I'm sure it took a great deal of soul-searching, endless talks with your support system and, finally, the most difficult conversation of all -- telling your partner. Now what? Obviously, there are many options to cutting the ties, and also obviously, mediation is my preference. Regardless of whether
- [When Parents Disagree on Parenting (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/when-parents-disagree-on-parenting-three-minute-read/) - I'm no expert on parenting (other than to say I had two good ones). This topic is timely for me, however, because it seems to be a common thread in my mediation practice. Co-parenting after divorce can be a slippery slope. It requires two people who are no longer living together to be tied with
- [Three Minutes About Male-Bashing](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/three-minutes-about-male-bashing/) - As a divorce Mediator, I listen to couples whose complaints about each other run the gamut from infidelity to hoarding to gambling to laziness. It's a good thing I'm trained to be neutral and non-judgmental, because a lot of this stuff can be pretty jaw-dropping. And while the men have plenty to say, it's been
- [You're Not an Only Child! (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/youre-not-an-only-child-three-minute-read/) - In the past few weeks, I've repeated that statement enough times that I consider it to be a sign for me to write about it. Caring for an aging family member is becoming more and more common. We're living longer but not necessarily better. In a perfect world, you and your brothers and sisters would
- [What's the Deal About Second Marriages? (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/whats-the-deal-about-second-marriages-three-minute-read/) - As if the 50% failure rate for first marriages isn't horrible enough, the failure rate of second marriages rises to a staggering 67%. You'd think after one divorce, we'd be better equipped to make a success of the second marriage. So, what's the deal? Turns out, there are many reasons why the deck is stacked
- [Want to Boycott Valentine's Day?  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/want-to-boycott-valentines-day-three-minute-read/) - I recently had a conversation with my happily-married niece. It kind of went like this: Me: What are you doing to celebrate Valentine's Day? Her: Nothing. It's a stupid holiday. Me: Why do you think it's stupid? Her: Because we don't need a date on the calendar telling us to be sweet to each other.
- [The Situation is Awkward (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/the-situation-is-awkward-three-minute-read/) - Awkward situations can be momentary, like honking your horn at the guy in front of you, and then sitting next to him at a business lunch. That's not the subject of this article. What I'm talking about here are those awkward situations that are more significant than your fleeting road rage. For example, you've given
- [Calm Down!  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/calm-down-three-minute-read/) - Don't those two words just piss you off even more? As I am sure you can imagine, tempers often flare during mediation and dealing with emotions is a large part of what I do. For example, last year I worked with a divorcing couple who had two kids. According to "Katie," her husband had a
- [Burning Bridges -- Yes or No ?  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/burning-bridges-yes-or-no-three-minute-read/) - You want out. Out of your job, your marriage, your apartment lease, your cable contract. And no doubt, you keep on hearing your mother's voice, "don't burn a bridge." What exactly does that mean? According to Wictionary, burning a bridge means: "to destroy one's path, connections, reputation, opportunities, etc., particularly intentionally." We're told that instead of burning a bridge, we should
- [I Have A Question For You (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/i-have-a-question-for-you-three-minute-read/) - I ask a lot of questions. I do so not only because it's a necessity for a Mediator, but also because I am genuinely interested in the answers. Call it natural curiosity, call it being a good listener, or call it deflecting the interest away from me. Whatever. I've read books about questions, taken classes,
- [Is Your Personality Different at Work than at Home?  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/is-your-personality-different-at-work-than-at-home-three-minute-read/) - When I was a young paralegal working for a large law firm in downtown Los Angeles, I was a quiet, insecure, rule-following employee who ate lunch by myself every day. I definitely had a different personality at work than at home, and it was very stressful for me to essentially change into someone else from
- [Fighting In Front of the Kids (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/fighting-in-front-of-the-kids/) - For my first blog in the new year, I was all set to write something inspirational. And then this happened: a couple going through a particularly ugly break-up, confessed to me that they fight in front of their kids. And they said they can see how it's negatively impacting the children. Flashback to my own
- [New Year's Resolutions - Are They Mostly Successful or Mostly Epic Failures? (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/new-years-resolutions-are-they-mostly-successful-or-mostly-epic-failures-three-minute-read/) - First, let me be perfectly honest. I have no willpower. That being said, I rarely make New Year's resolutions because I cannot keep them. But maybe 2018 will be different . . . How many times will you be asked within the next week about your New Year's resolutions? Do you answer by saying you're
- [Are you a Translator or an Interpreter?  (Three-Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/are-you-a-translator-or-an-interpreter-three-minute-read/) - I recently had a sad conversation with a daughter who's having difficulty communicating with her old-school dad. When I was in college, we called it a generation gap and I think that's still a good description. But that scenario gave me food for thought: when we have difficulty communicating with somebody is it because they
- [Grandma, It's Time to Take Away Your Car Keys (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/grandma-its-time-to-take-away-your-car-keys-three-minute-read/) - What issues might be of concern to your aging parents or grandparents? Maybe one or more of these: 1. Care, safety, and comfort; 2. Physical situation; 3. Sexuality/companionship; 4. End of life decisions; and 5. Mental capacity Wow! Tough stuff. We tend to avoid these difficult conversations, don't we? But if we're being truthful with
- [How Do You Handle Change?  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/how-do-you-handle-change-three-minute-read/) - My mom liked to move the furniture around. On any given day, and for no particular reason, I'd come home from school to find the living room couch on the opposite wall, or my dad's recliner somewhere new. Those minor changes in the house made me feel disconnected and disoriented. And I'm only talking about
- [Can You Really Forgive or When is Enough Enough?  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/can-you-really-forgive-or-when-is-enough-enough-three-minute-read/) - You've talked (and listened) to the point of exhaustion, and you've both agreed to the second chance concept (for a quick reminder, click here). You're ready for a fresh start, but there's a nagging doubt in the back of your mind as to whether it will really work. Let's face it, forgiveness is not easy.
- [Second Chances (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/second-chances-three-minute-read/) - I'm a big believer in second chances, and in third, fourth -- well maybe I'll stop there. I know from personal as well as from professional experience that there isn't an 'always' or a 'never' when it comes to second chances. The concept is complicated. It depends on the relationship of the people involved, and
- [Strategic Faking (A Three-Minute Pre-Thanksgiving Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/strategic-faking-a-three-minute-pre-thanksgiving-read/) - Do you dread Thanksgiving with your family? Is it because of your mother-in-law's condescending questioning? Or your dad's inability to engage in a decent conversation? Does your sister pretend the dried-out turkey is the best one yet? Are you the only one who cares about football? You might think there are only two options: avoid
- [The Seven Stages of Getting Fired (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/the-seven-stages-of-getting-fired-three-minute-read/) - We've all heard about the seven stages of grief: shock, denial, anger, bargaining, depression, testing, and acceptance. Does the same model work when you've been fired? Let's assume you weren't fired because of your age, race, gender, religion, and/or sexual orientation. Let's also assume you weren't fired due to your own egregious conduct -- you
- [Emotional Blackmail (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/emotional-blackmail-three-minute-read/) - You want out. The relationship is over. You're beyond ready to move out and move forward, but she's threatening to hurt herself. Or worse. IMPORTANT: Threats of suicide can be very real. Make sure you get in touch with a suicide prevention and/or support group immediately. Now back to you. I'm going to guess you're
- ["Dear Mediator" (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/dear-mediator-three-minute-read/) - People sometimes ask me for advice about communication. And to be perfectly honest, sometimes I give it without being asked. (Note to self: write blog about people who provide unsolicited advice. ) In the meantime, here are a few examples: Question: Carrie’s sister Kelly is a recovering alcoholic who is a totally devoted aunt to
- [Compassion and Generosity (Why Aren't We Like This All The Time?)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/compassion-and-generosity/) - In light of the recent mass shooting in my city, I'm going to deviate from my typical (and, hopefully educational) weekly blog post to write from my heart. The numbness of the past few days has given way to an extraordinary realization that people are inherently good, kind, giving and compassionate. As the stories of
- [It's Just Good Business (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/its-just-good-business-three-minute-read/) - The opportunity for a dispute to arise in a business relationship happens far more frequently than you might guess. But I'm not here to convince you to get it in writing. You already know that. What I'm wondering is whether you have a mediation clause in your standard contracts and agreements. In the past, most
- [The Grey Divorce Phenomenon (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/the-grey-divorce-phenomenon-three-minute-read/) - Over the past five years, I have seen a surprising increase in the number of couples seeking my mediation services to help end their 20-35 year marriages. I've been giving a lot of thought to the concept of "grey divorce" (as in older couples with grey hair) and have come up with a few observations
- [When Adults Act Like Children (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/when-adults-act-like-children-three-minute-read/) - A couple of years ago, I met with three adult brothers whose mother, Peggy, had passed away. Although Peggy had a Will to take care of distributing her real estate, and she was foresighted enough to divide her savings into three equal accounts naming each son as a beneficiary, she left a household full of
- [I'm Mad at my Work Spouse (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/im-mad-at-my-work-spouse-three-minute-read/) - Co-existing with your office mate can be challenging. Minor annoyances, such as humming or whistling, can escalate when you perceive that your co-worker isn't carrying his/her own weight. And what if you're angry with your business partner, your assistant, or your boss? How we treat those relationships can be tricky, particularly when we spend more
- ["Why Don't You Have Kids?"  How To Respond to a Personal Question (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/why-dont-you-have-kids-how-to-respond-to-a-personal-question-three-minute-read/) - I don't have children. I can't tell you how many times I've been asked why, and to be perfectly truthful, sometimes I haven't answered nicely. It amazes me that friends, relatives, and relative strangers think it's okay to ask such a personal question. The decision to have kids is nobody's business except for the potential
- [Your Dog's View on Divorce (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/my-humans-are-getting-divorced/) - My humans just dropped a bombshell on me. They're getting a divorce and my world will never be the same. How could they make such a drastic decision without consulting me? After all, I am an important member of this family! They decided that I'm going to stay in the house with my mom because
- [Lending Money to a Relative or to a Friend  (Three Minute Read)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/lending-money-to-a-relative-or-to-a-friend-three-minute-read/) - I think William Shakespeare said it best, "Neither a borrower nor a lender be . . ." ["Hamlet," Act 1, Scene III.] Of course, that's pretty much impossible. We have student loans, car loans, and mortgages. Who hasn't hit up a parent or grandparent for an assist at one time or another? Circumstances generally win
- [Staying Friends With Your Ex - The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/staying-friends-with-your-ex-the-good-the-bad-and-the-ugly/) - I have mixed emotions about this topic. On the one hand, there are some really valid reasons why staying friends with your ex is a healthy, mature thing to do. On the other hand, it could be holding you back from moving on. Here's a quick true-false quiz: True or false: Our differences in philosophy
- [Your Divorce is Final. Now What?](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/your-divorce-is-final-now-what/) - You may think it's all over once your divorce is final, but there are a few more things you should do to get on the right path for your next chapter. It's kind of like moving into a new place. You have to arrange for your utilities to be transferred, register the kids in new
- [$$ Money Language $$](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/money-language/) - More often than not, couples speak different languages about money. Whether it's due to gender, cultural differences, or paycheck inequality, divergent attitudes towards spending and saving can destroy a relationship. In fact, according to many experts, it's the second leading cause for divorce in the United States (infidelity, however, still reigns supreme). I practice divorce
- [Are You A 1% Conversationalist?](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/are-you-a-1-conversationalist/) - I have a quirk, an idiosyncrasy, an annoying personality trait. Call it what you will, but I'm a sucker for a good conversation. I channel my dad, who could talk with anybody about anything, and I try my best to live up to that standard. Before I share his secret, I'd like to ask a
- [Are You Raising Your Kids Correctly?  Your Mom Might Disagree.](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/are-you-raising-your-kids-correctly-your-mom-might-disagree/) - This is a story about Ashley and her mom, Sally. This is also a story about a Millennial and a Baby Boomer. This is also a story about love. So here goes: Sally is a retired elementary school teacher who frequently helps out her daughter, Ashley, by babysitting for Ashley's baby. (I'll leave off the
- [Shhhh . . . Unlock the Power of Silence](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/shhhh-unlock-the-power-of-silence/) - No, I'm not talking about "the silent treatment" that we've all used from time to time to make a point. "What's wrong?" your partner asks, and you respond "Nothing," which can be a truthful answer or, more likely, a passive-aggressive one. This concept is different. It's powerful. Maybe even revolutionary. But it's not exactly new
- [Is Your Family Tree Complicated? Is Unconditional Love the Solution?](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/is-your-family-tree-complicated/) - A dear friend recently lost her grandmother. The funeral was well-attended, as Grandma Ruth had lived a long life and endeared herself to many. Grandma Ruth and Grandpa Al had eight children, and four of the eight children were divorced, remarried, and had stepchildren. When my friend described the funeral, I was envisioning a giant
- [Think You're a Good Listener? Take This Simple Quiz.](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/think-youre-a-good-listener-take-this-simple-quiz/) - Do you maintain frequent eye contact with the speaker? Are you suspending your judgment of the person's appearance? Are you encouraging the speaker by nodding and conveying your own understanding? Do you try to keep an eye on what else is going on in the room? Does your mind start to wander as soon as
- [Before You Ride Off Into the Sunset . . .](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/before-you-ride-off-into-the-sunset/) - An old friend once told me that he came home from work to find his house completely emptied, including the carpeting, light bulbs, switchplate covers and toilet paper! Was his house broken into? Nope. His wife decided to move out and end the relationship. Don't you think there are better ways to tell your partner
- [Would You Like Some Pie a la Blame?](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/its-your-fault-not-mine/) - We all know them. The blamers. The ones who are the quickest to deny responsibility. Instead, they say things like, "the bank bounced my check," or "I missed the deadline because my assistant's kid was sick." When I'm working with my divorce mediation clients, I never ever ask why they're getting a divorce. Yet it
- [Sibling Rivalry Isn't Just for Kids](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/sibling-rivalry-isnt-just-for-kids/) - I imagine that each one of us knows of someone who isn't speaking to a brother or sister. My dad and one of his brothers didn't speak to each other for decades, and they never chose to reconcile. As a family Mediator, I hear stories about long-standing feuds. Everyone has a valid reason for holding
- [Kids, Put Away Your Phones -- We Need to Talk](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/kids-put-away-your-phones-we-need-to-talk/) - Telling your kids that you're getting a divorce is one of the most significant conversations you'll ever have, so it makes sense to do the best you can. Even if you haven't been on the same page with your spouse for ages, it's a necessity in this situation for you to to be in alignment
- [Adoption and Your Marriage](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/adoption-and-your-marriage/) - Couples who adopt are very special. It's a massive decision with lifetime implications. I think it starts with a "what if ...?" and ends with a "let's do it!" What gets discussed in between is unique and personal, and I would never intrude on anyone else's decision-making process. What I do wonder about is what
- [Adjusting to Power Shifts in Relationships](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/adjusting-to-power-shifts-in-relationships/) - Power shifts in relationships can be perceived in many ways. Take the newlyweds who meet in college. The wife gets a teaching job with a decent entry level salary -- enough to support the couple while the husband goes to law school. She works full-time, pays all the bills, and runs the household so that
- [There's No Crying in Divorce!](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/theres-no-crying-in-divorce/) - It will come as no surprise if I tell you that I've seen a couple of tears shed in divorce mediation. A couple of thousand is more like it. I find it interesting to observe the varying ways people deal with their emotions in front of me, the neutral third party. More often than
- [Positive Rethinking](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/positive-rethinking/) - Most of us tend to avoid conflict. We repress emotions because they may be negative, and result in feelings of helplessness or hopelessness. Often, we are afraid of confrontation because we don't want our feelings to be hurt, or we don't want to cause hurt in others. We silence those negative emotions, putting them on
- [This Year, You Can Change-Up Mother's Day](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/this-year-you-can-change-up-mothers-day/) - Whose mom comes first on Mother's Day? Your own mom, your grandmother, your stepmother, your mother-in-law, your kids' mom, your surrogate mother? I think I'll stop here, but you get the idea. There's a great deal of pressure put on this Hallmark holiday, and it can come at you from all directions. For example, do
- [My Home is Multi-Generational](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/my-home-is-multi-generational/) - When my mom and dad first got married, they lived with my grandmother. When the recession hit in 2009, my nephew had no choice but to move his wife and kids to the in-laws' house. When my friend April's father had a stroke, she brought him to her own home, and even gave him the
- [Can Ending a Relationship be Fair?](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/can-ending-a-relationship-be-fair/) - I'd say that virtually 100% of the time, the parties I meet with tell me they want things to be fair. It's a lofty goal, because the decision to end the relationship almost always starts out one-sided. Someone is clearly driving the divorce bus, at least at first. So I'll ask the bus driver, "what's
- [THINK YOU NEED A LAWYER TO GET DIVORCED?  THINK AGAIN!](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/think-you-need-a-lawyer-to-get-divorced-think-again/) - Your best friend's husband cheated on her. You tell her, "Get yourself a lawyer. Right away. And be sure to find a real bulldog." I'm pretty sure someone you know has been involved in this type of conversation once or twice. Many people think hiring a lawyer equates to getting revenge. Your best friend is
- [Avoiding the Shattered Windshield of your Family Business](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/disputes-in-the-family-business-part-2/) - When I started doing research about conflicts in family business, my inbox overflowed with horror stories. The topics ranged from working for the ex-in-laws to wicked stepmothers taking over the company to whether to call your grandfather by his first name at the office (awkward). It seems that we all know someone who has been
- [Disputes in the Family Business](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/disputes-in-the-family-business/) - "There's no conflict in MY family's business. It runs smoothly, like clockwork, just the way my grandfather envisioned when he started it in 1959," SAID NO ONE. EVER. The thing about conflict in family business is that it's way more complicated than conflict in the non-family workplace. Why? Because there are many other underlying issues
- [YOU HURT MY FEELINGS ...](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/you-hurt-my-feelings/) - We're a sensitive bunch, aren't we? We take everything very seriously and very personally. What I'm talking about here is not the Mount Everest of abuse and betrayal. Rather, I'm on the first rung of a small ladder, looking at some of the little things that cause our feelings to be hurt. As we all
- [Estrangement -- It's Not All That Strange](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/estrangement-its-not-all-that-strange/) - "They haven't spoken to each other in years." I wish I would have kept track of how many times I've heard those words since I became a mediator. Most frequently, the parties involved are siblings, and no two stories are ever the same. There is always a self-righteous undertone. "She's the one who needs to
- [YOU'RE AN ADULT AND SO ARE YOUR PARENTS.  NOW WHAT?](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/youre-an-adult-and-so-are-your-parents-now-what/) - I hear this often: "I know he's 23, but I still worry about him." Or, "Geez! I'm 25 and my dad still wants to control me." How do parents and their adult offspring figure this out? First, let me pose a couple of questions: (1) Who controls the purse strings? (2) Do these family members
- [What's a Grandparent to Do?](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/whats-a-grandparent-to-do/) - A couple of months ago, I wrote a blog called "Co-Existing with your Former In-Laws." I soon realized that that's only half of the picture, and have been thinking ever since about the other perspective. Several of my friends are now having to tiptoe around their ex daughters-in-law in order to maintain a wholesome relationship
- [Thinking About a Reconciliation?](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/thinking-about-a-reconciliation/) - You've separated, now you're back together again. At first, it seems like this time things will be different. Then reality sets in, and both of you revert to all of your old patterns. You're bickering about the same things. He calls you a nag. You tell him he's irresponsible. Has anything really changed? Was it
- [Who Gets Custody of the Friends?](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/who-gets-custody-of-the-friends/) - When my closest friends announced they were getting a divorce, I wasn't the slightest bit surprised. Socializing with them was often uncomfortable, and trying to ignore their constant bickering was getting tiresome. As is fairly typical for women, "April" had confided in me for months that she was unhappy. She shared some pretty intimate details
- [Are You Singing the Blended Family Blues?](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/are-you-singing-the-blended-family-blues/) - Several years ago, I attended a wedding. The bride's parents had divorced when "Holly" was in elementary school. Her mother remarried shortly thereafter, and the stepfather, "Tim," was instrumental in Holly's life. So important that, when it was time to plan the wedding, there was no question but that Tim would walk her down the
- [CONFLICT ISN'T PRETTY, BUT IT CAN BE CIVIL](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/conflict-isnt-pretty-but-it-can-be-civil/) - You're out walking your dog on a Saturday morning enjoying the exercise and the fresh air when, all of a sudden, he pulls on his leash and starts to growl. Why? Because somebody else's dog has approached, and that dog is not on a leash. Fortunately, your "Buddy" is well-trained, and you are able to
- [WHAT TO DO WITH A GRUDGE](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/what-to-do-with-a-grudge/) - You and your mother-in-law had the fight to end all fights. Granted, it was a long time ago, but it was never resolved. There was no (pardon the overused cliche) closure. There wasn't even an agreement to disagree. Just silence. When absolutely necessary, you went through the motions. You mailed a card on Mother's Day,
- [Managing Expectations (No Need to Reach for the Stars)](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/managing-expectations-no-need-to-reach-for-the-stars/) - "My expectations were reduced to zero when I was 21. Everything since then has been a bonus." So said the brilliant Stephen Hawking in a magazine interview. Guess what? I'm going to disagree with a genius. Lowering your expectations, in my opinion, equates to lowering your standards. A guarantee that you won't be disappointed, but
- [Is it time to Dump an Old Friend?](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/is-it-time-to-dump-an-old-friend/) - An extraordinary person once said, "Friends should bring you joy." Oh wait! That was me! And that is the barometer I use when nurturing my own friendships. I've been researching this question, and asking men and women alike whether it's okay to break-up with an old friend. What are the signs that a friendship
- [Co-Existing with your Former In-Laws](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/co-existing-with-your-former-in-laws/) - At one point or another during practically every divorce mediation session, I remind the soon-to-be-exes that they will be a family forever. Only their marital status and their living situation will change. I offer up scenarios where they'll be together as a family: graduations, birthdays, weddings, holidays, school performances. And I reinforce that being civil
- [Erasing the Guilt](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/erasing-the-guilt/) - I recently heard a story about two elderly sisters who had been estranged for more than 30 years. There was a reconciliation of sorts at the older sister's deathbed, but after she passed away, the younger sibling was left with guilt. She had missed out on decades of her sister's life. Didn't see her oldest
- [WHAT HAPPENS AFTER THE APOLOGY?](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/what-happens-after-the-apology/) - Ok, you heard it. The apology. Hard to tell whether it was absolutely sincere, but you're willing to give the benefit of the doubt. Now what? I often hear people use the worn out cliche, "forgive and forget." Contrary to popular opinion, those concepts are not like salt and pepper. Instead, they're like pizza and
- [IS AN APOLOGY IMPORTANT TO YOU?](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/is-an-apology-important-to-you/) - Last year around the holidays, I began working with a couple divorcing after more than 30 years of marriage. "Mary" was determined to explain to me that she had read a text on "Bill's" phone that she obviously wasn't meant to see. I let her vent for awhile about Bill's infidelity, looking for any sign
- [R.I.P. CAROL BRADY WHILE YOUR KIDS ARE FIGHTING OVER YOUR STUFF](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/r-i-p-carol-brady-while-your-kids-are-fighting-over-your-stuff/) - The recent passing of Florence Henderson made me nostalgic for The Brady Bunch, tv's iconic sitcom about a blended family. Bringing it into the 20th century, let's imagine that Mike Brady passed away many years ago, leaving his entire estate to his wife, Carol. She invested wisely, put all six children through college, and never
- [IT'S OK TO FAKE IT!](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/its-ok-to-fake-it/) - As the days are getting shorter, and the holiday season is rapidly approaching, there are some people who dread the annual family dinner. In fact, I'd venture to say that each and every one of us has an Uncle Jake, or a sister-in-law Alice, who annoys the hell out of us. Am I right? It
- [MY EX IS A SERIAL DATER!](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/my-ex-is-a-serial-dater/) - I recently listened to an emotional voicemail from a former divorce mediation client, Jenny. She said that her 11 year old daughter, Courtney, was crying hysterically over her dad's break-up with yet another girlfriend. Jenny wanted to know if a post-divorce mediation session would be beneficial, so we scheduled an appointment. Before I tell you
- [BE PREPARED!  It's Not Just the Boy Scout Motto](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/be-prepared-its-not-just-the-boy-scout-motto/) - As a divorce and family Mediator, I have witnessed great success in the peaceful, respectful resolution of highly emotional situations. There are many reasons for the success, not the least of which is the spirit of compromise most of my clients bring to the table. But a surprising factor that contributes greatly to my clients’
- [WHO DESERVES A SECOND CHANCE?](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/who-deserves-a-second-chance/) - "Life always offers a second chance. It's called tomorrow." - Dylan Thomas Months ago, I had the opportunity to speak before a group of young women in business. I prepared a brief presentation on communication in the workplace, but as it turned out, they didn't want to talk about business at all. Instead, it became
- [Is it Time to Have "The Talk" With Your Parents?](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/is-it-time-to-have-the-talk-with-your-parents/) - You've been noticing for months that your parents are becoming less and less independent. Simple housekeeping duties, once accomplished so matter-of-factly, are now being ignored. Dishes stay in the sink, weeds are taking over the garden, and trash cans are overflowing. Maybe they're asking you to pick up some groceries, or give them a ride
- [Help!  My Son is Getting a Divorce!](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/help-my-son-is-getting-a-divorce/) - He's an adult, right? He's been living independently for years, right? And all of a sudden, he's calling you twice a day, crying, venting, and turning into a lump of rapidly liquefying jello. How did this happen? And, more importantly, how are you going to make it better?" Regardless of whether your son is the
- [DIVORCE WITHOUT LAWYERS?](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/divorce-without-lawyers-2/) - Is it possible for two people to end their relationship in a fair and respectful manner without spending thousands of dollars on attorneys? Absolutely! Here's one scenario: A couple of years ago, I met with Pat and Chris. Pat had retained a lawyer for $2,500. Chris had retained a lawyer for $2,000. Both had used
- [DO GRANDPARENTS HAVE RIGHTS?](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/do-grandparents-have-rights/) - I am not a grandparent, and I had only one, my grandpa Sam, who died when I was six. But I witnessed firsthand the special relationship my parents had with their grandchildren, as well as the loving, caring and fun that many of my friends are currently having with their grandchildren. I have also seen
- [SEX WITH YOUR EX -- GOOD IDEA?](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/sex-with-your-ex-good-idea/) - Let's face it: sex is an important part of almost every relationship and, correspondingly, sex is an important part of why many relationships end. But once it's over and you're adjusting to your new life, is it ever a good idea to have sex with your ex? Four reasons why we do it: 1. We're
- [Aging Parents?  Part 2](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/aging-parents-part-2/) - Having a difficult conversation with an aging parent is no picnic. There can be dozens of underlying issues stemming back decades and, when you and your adult siblings don't see eye-to-eye, it might get ugly. Here are some suggestions to help the process go smoothly and with maximum benefit. HOW TO START THE CONVERSATION: 1.
- [Aging Parents?](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/aging-parents/) - As our population ages, we see older adults all over the place. We're living longer, and seniors are leading active lives. That is, until we see things start to change. I frequently talk with families about how roles have reversed, and adult children are becoming caregivers to their parents. It's not an easy situation to
- [Three Steps to Naviating the Bumpy Road aka Raising Teens with your Ex](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/three-steps-to-naviatin-the-bumpy-road-aka-raising-teens-with-your-ex/) - Co-parenting beomes more difficult as children reach high school. Surviving their adolescence is easier when divorced parents are on the same page.
- [4 Things Not To Say In Anger](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/4-things-not-to-say-in-anger/) - Have you ever been in a heated discussion with a loved one or a co-worker, only to find yourself enraged by a single statement? In retrospect, you acknowledge that your partner, sibling, colleague or parent knows exactly how to push your buttons, and you probably know exactly how to push theirs. But what does that
- [Getting Revenge Against Your Ex](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/getting-revenge-against-your-ex/) - "Vanity Fair," by William Makepeace Thackeray (note his middle name) was required reading for me as an English Lit major in college. The only thing I actually remember from the book was the line, "Revenge may be wicked, but it's natural." I am not to proud to admit that I've sought revenge against an ex or
- [Do Men Have it Harder (During a Divorce)?](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/do-men-have-it-harder/) - Although every situation is unique, I've come to the conclusion that most men think they have it harder than women when it comes to divorce.
- [My Humans are Getting a Divorce](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/my-humans-are-getting-a-divorce/) - Divorce is always hard on the people. But don't forget it's also no joy ride for the pets. Mediation can benefit the family dog along with everybody else.
- [Test](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/test/) - Test
- [Welcome to our Blog](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/welcome-to-our-blog/) - Thank you for visiting our website!
- [Summer is Over](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/co_parenting_back_to_school/) - Summer is over and the co-parenting challenges of a new school year are upon us. It's all about the backpack. Kids with two homes need a space that's uniquely "theirs,"even if it's portable. Spend time making your child's new backpack into his or her personal universe that the child keeps with him or her, no matter whose
- [Kids and Homework](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/kids_and_homework/) - Have your kids do homework with you, even if you are not the custodial parent. Helping with homework is a primary parental responsibility -- and can be a joy with a long lasting positive impact on your children. Helping with homework is not the exclusive role of just one parent. Homework can be done in
- [Meet the Teacher](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/meet_the_teacher/) - Avoid any issues up front by sitting down with your child's teacher or school counselor at the start of the school year and explain your family dynamics. Do this without your child present as you don't want to embarrass your child, but you do want the school to be aware. I help people divorce without
- [Children As Messengers](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/children_as_messengers/) - Never use your child as a messenger to inform your ex about school and extra-curricular activities, such as "mom says you should attend teacher conferences next week." It's uncomfortable for the child, and it's not really reliable. Communicate directly with your ex. Email is great for this because it provides you with a written record.
- [Get On The School Mailing List](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/school_mailing_list/) - It is up to both parents to ensure they are on school mailing/email lists. If your spouse took care of this while you were married, you can't expect this upon divorce. Make the effort to stay connected to the school and put your name on all appropriate lists. If you have an amicable relationship with
- [Three Truths](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/three-truths/) - "There are three truths: my truth, your truth and the truth." — Chinese Proverb. This was the motivational message we posted on our Twitter account recently. In thinking about a dispute you might be in, is it possible for you to consider that there are three 'truths'? If so, how do you gain a better
- [There May Be A Better Way](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/a_betterway/) - "It is always safe to assume, not that the old way is wrong, but that there may be a better way." — Henry F. Harrower This was a recent quote on our Twitter page. It's easy to get 'stuck' with one certain viewpoint on an issue. As your mediator, we help all parties see new
- [Find A Remedy](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/find_a_remedy/) - One of our recent motivational messages on our Twitter account was: "Don’t find fault. Find a remedy." – Henry Ford. We think this is a great message for those utilizing mediationto resolve conflict. Our mediators are trained to assist clients with this very goal!!And when we say 'remedy' we don't just mean a compromise or an 'even split'.
- [Co Parenting Do's & Don'ts](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/co-parenting-dos-donts/) - A few Co Parenting Do's & Don'ts : 1. Do focus on your children. 2. Do find new activities for you and your children to enjoy together. 3. Don't focus on your former spouse. When you find yourself doing this, mentally say "stop" and do something healthy for yourself. 4. Don't use your children as
- [Mediated Divorce](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/mediated_divorce/) - A mediated divorce is usually less costly, less time-consuming, and less stressful than going to court. When a couple can agree to the terms of their divorce by way of mediation, the divorce experience is often faster and cheaper especially when you consider attorney fees and the overall court process. A mediated divorce often turns
- [Addressing Workplace Conflict](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/addressing-workplace-conflict/) - While most of our work focuses on divorce and family mediation, we also offer a range of workplace mediation related services as well.
- [The Benefit of a Mediator](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/913/) - Recently, the following quote from Danish physicist Niels Bohr was featured on our Twitter page: “The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. But the opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.” Abraham Pais, physicist and science historian, said “The first thing [Niels] Bohr said to me was that it
- [The "Little Red Truck"](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/the-little-red-truck/) - The other day I saw a friend put on the spot as he was asked to make a small impromptu speech. His opening remarks went something like this, “Good morning, I feel like that guy whose house caught on fire. He phoned the fire department to report his need for their services. The voice on
- [Child Support Mediation](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/child-support-mediation/) - The argument is often heard that child support isn't really being used to benefit the children. It always seems "too much to pay" and "too little to receive."
- [ADA Accommodations for the Mediation Process](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/ada-accommodations/) - Sometimes individuals with disabilities need an accommodation to allow full participation in the mediation process.
- [Happy Birthday Grandma](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/happy-birthday-grandma/) - In honor of my grandmother, consider elder care mediation. Don't fight with siblings. The care of mom or dad can go smoothly and peacefully when you mediate.
- [Gay Divorce:  A Greater Challenge Than Marriage](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/gay-divorce/) - Mediation can't grant gay couples a divorce but it can help with issues of property and asset division and creating parenting plans.
- [Peer Conferences](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/peer-conferences/) - Peer Conferences have been around for hundreds or maybe even thousands of years in a variety of cultures. Mainstream business has seen the benefit of this process for about 30 years. When I was supervising a laundry department early in my career I was asked to develop a team atmosphere. I saw Peer Conferences as
- [The Difference is YOU!!](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/the-difference-is-you/) - The difference between mediation, arbitration and litigation.
- [Be A Peacemaker](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/be-a-peacemaker/) - Recommend mediation over litigation to your friends and help foster peace in the world.
- [What is co-mediation?](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/what-is-co-mediation/) - Co-mediation involves two mediators working together with the couple.
- [A Tribute to Steve Jobs](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/tribute-to-steve-jobs/) - Steve Jobs was a visionary who changed the way we live and whose life will be ranked with other greats such as Thomas Edison and Henry Ford.
- [Living Alone](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/1022/) - It's a possibility that an effect of your "uncoupling" is that you're living alone, at times, for the first time in a long time, and sometimes not by your own choice. No matter. Living alone, even if it's a day or two each month, is a license to put yourself first. Indulging yourself might not
- [When You No Longer Know What To Do](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/what_to_do/) - I came across this quote recently and it caused me to take pause. I had to read and re-read it to really let it sink in. 'When we no longer know what to do, we have come to our real work'. What a powerful message. How many times have I come to this point in
- [Repair Your Windshield](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/repair-your-windshield/) - A few years ago, I was driving on the freeway and a rock hit my windshield. At first, there was just a walnut-sized ding, but by the time I got to my office, there were cracks coming out of the ding. It looked like a Halloween spider made out of pipe cleaners. I knew that
- [On The Radio](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/on-the-radio/) - Being interviewed on the radio about divorce mediation
- [Penny from "Lost in Space" Defines Mediation](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/mediation-defined/) - Penny Robinson of "Lost in Space" defines mediation for aliens experiencing conflict.
- [So, mediators don't make any decisions, they don't tell you what to do, they don't take sides  - what do they do?](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/whatdomediatorsdo/) - So, mediators don't make any decisions, they don't tell you what to do, they don't take sides - what do they do?
- [Mediation is Just Good Business](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/bizmed/) - Having a mediation clause in your standard contracts and agreements protects you and your clients. The opportunity for a dispute to arise is far greater than one might think. Your clients will appreciate that you have a fair and cost-efficient manner to resolve disputes built into your contract. During mediation, parties submit their dispute to
- [Top 5 Reasons to Mediate the End of a Relationship: Reason One](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/top-5-reasons-to-mediate-the-end-of-a-relationship-reason-one/) - Mediation is a new and growing trend for navigating the end of a relationship whether through divorce or separation. Recently we were interviewed about the top reasons for using mediation as a way to end a relationship. Over the next few days I would like to share those reasons and explain them with you one
- [Top 5 Reasons to Mediate the End of a Relationship: Reason Two](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/top-5-reasons-to-mediate-the-end-of-a-relationship-reason-two/) - This is the second in a series about the new and growing trend for navigating the end of a relationship whether through divorce or separation known as mediation. Recently we conducted a poll on our Linkedin page where we asked participants to identify the most important benefits of mediation. The number one benefit cited by
- [Top 5 Reasons to Mediate the End of a Relationship: Reason Three](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/top-5-reasons-to-mediate-the-end-of-a-relationship-reason-three/) - This is the third installment in a series about the new and growing trend for navigating the end of a relationship whether through divorce or separation known as mediation. When it come to children, we have adopted the motto " It's not about child support, it's about supporting the child(ren). This is the basis for
- [Top 5 Reasons to Mediate the End of a Relationship: Reason Four](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/top-5-reasons-to-mediate-the-end-of-a-relationship-reason-four/) - Our ongoing series about using mediation to end a relationship continues. We as your mediators know what we don't know. With that concept in mind, we utilize the best experts in their fields for supporting you in making your decisions. That brings us to the fourth reason for using mediation to end your relationship. Reason
- [Top 5 Reasons to Mediate the End of a Relationship: Reason Five](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/top-5-reasons-to-mediate-the-end-of-a-relationship-reason-five/) - This is the fifth and final installment of our series about using mediation to end a relationship. After considering the first four reasons I think you will see why this last reason is a given. Reason Five: 5. You will emerge from the process having spent less time, less money and considerably less stress. The
- [Are Conflicts Controlling Your Life?](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/are-conflicts-controlling-your-life/) - · Are you spending an unbalanced amount of time worrying about your problems? · Are you fearful of allowing a judge to make decisions that affect your personal life? · Are you unwilling or unable to pay thousands of dollars to an attorney to assist you? If you answered “no” to any of these questions,
- [Who Gets Grandma's Yellow Pie Plate?](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/who-gets-grandmas-yellow-pie-plate/) - Personal belongings often have special meaning for individuals and family members. Passing on treasured wedding photos, grandpa's fishing tackle box, or a well-used yellow pie plate can be challenging, and may lead to family conflict. This workshop can help you to determine the right approach for your family, and provide you with the tools you'll
- [It's Never Too Late](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/its-never-too-late/) - After Diana Nyad completed her historic swim from Cuba to Florida (at the age of 64), one of the first things she said was that "...you are never too old to chase your dreams." I want to remember that. People who stay in stressful, unhappy situations because they think they're too old to make a
- [So You Had Kids ...](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/so-you-had-kids/) - Co-parenting, the fashionable term for two parents who share the responsibility of rearing their children, can be complicated even under the best of circumstances. If custody, support and visitation are awarded by the court in a divorce, the terms are usually straight-forward, and they are usually ordered by a judge who has no real understanding
- [Grandparent Visitation](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/grandparent-visitation/) - There is no denying the special relationship between grandparents and their grandchildren. Yet sometimes that relationship becomes the collateral damage of a divorce. In mediation, when we help couples to "uncouple," we always ask about grandparent time. Frequently, it's a topic about which our clients haven't given thought. And no matter how hateful a parting
- [18 Rules of Living by the Dalai Lama - Rule #18](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/18-rules-of-living-by-the-dalai-lama-rule-18/) - 18. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it. Ask anyone what "success" means, and you'll hear a different answer each time. Ask what "compromise" means, and you'll hear a similar answer every time. My interpretation of the Dalai Lama's Rule #18 is that compromising is a route
- [18 Rules of Living by the Dalai Lama - Rule #17](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/18-rules-of-living-by-the-dalai-lama-rule-17/) - 17. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other. Parents. Children. Siblings. Family. We love them and we need them. We also have expectations of them -- we need them to act a certain way, say something we think should be said, and
- [18 Rules of Living by the Dalai Lama - Rule #16](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/18-rules-of-living-by-the-dalai-lama-rule-16/) - 16. Once a year, go someplace you've never been before. I'm choosing to interpret this rule rather broadly. While it certainly would apply to visiting a foreign country, I think it can also mean venturing out of our comfort zones. Particularly as we age, we can become fearful of the unknown. What if we get
- [Divorce Without Lawyers?](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/divorce-without-lawyers/) - Is it possible for two people to end their relationship in a fair and respectful manner without spending thousands of dollars on attorneys' fees? Absolutely. Anger, resentment, disappointment, and betrayal are common feelings when a divorce is imminent. Sometimes what propels people into ending a relationship can serve as the fuel to drive the litigation
- [Ending the Relationship; Revising the Contract](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/ending-the-relationship-revising-the-contract/) - Relationships are contracts, whether or not legally sanctioned. They represent negotiations and deals, the details of which often change over time. If the parties cannot adjust to the inevitable changes, the relationship most likely will end. We've all heard stories about endings: bad news delivered in anger by text message or by email; people who
- [Family Mediation in Estate Planning](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/family-mediation-in-estate-planning/) - “Andrea” was a teenager when her grandmother died. Among the many memories of time spent together, Andrea thought often about the simple glass bowl filled with M&Ms in the entryway of her grandmother’s house. After the funeral, the house was sold and the personal belongings were divided among Andrea’s mother and her siblings. But no
- [Why Choose Mediation?](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/why-choose-mediation/) - Mediation is an excellent alternative to the traditional (adversarial) divorce method. Not only is it much less expensive, it is much more expedient, and infinitely more peaceful. When mediating your divorce, you have meaningful conversations with your partner in front of a neutral, well-trained mediator who will help guide the two of you toward entering
- [What is a Parenting Plan?](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/what-is-a-parenting-plan/) - When you are contemplating divorce, the most important considerations have to do with your children. Where will they live? With whom? What about child support? Health insurance? Vacations? Extracurricular activities? College expenses? Babysitting? As any divorced parents will tell you, the list is endless. There are also decisions to be made concerning less obvious but
- [Divorce Support](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/divorce-support/) - You're thinking about ending your relationship. You've confided in your built-in support system: friends and family, most likely. They are automatically on your side, and you can and should be leaning on them. After all, your family and friends want you to be happy. However, the valuable group already on your side may not offer
- [When Adult Siblings Don't Agree](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/when-adult-siblings-dont-agree/) - I recently met with two sisters who were completely at odds about their aging Mother, Anna. The older sister, Kelly, is a stay-at-home mom, with a very successful husband and two pre-teen children. The younger sister, Kim, is single, no kids, struggling to make ends meet while working and attending community college at night. My
- [Family Mediation After The Death of a Loved one](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/family-mediation-after-the-death-of-a-loved-one/) - Greg, Larry and Shelley's mother passed away. Although the mother had a valid Last Will and Testament which provided for the distribution of her real property, stocks, and cash, she also left a houseful of furniture including the childhood bedroom furniture of the siblings. Also, there were two relatively new flat screen television sets and
- [THERE ARE ACTUALLY FOUR ANSWERS](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/there-are-actually-four-answers/) - The more difficult questions can be tough to navigate. There are actually only four answers
- [Asking Questions to Diffuse Conflict](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/asking-questions-to-diffuse-conflict/) - This blog post originally appeared on LG Designs' website as a guest blog post. Click here to read the full blog post... Conflict usually appears at inopportune times. Sometimes we’re just not in the mood to deal with it. Sometimes we’re blind-sided. Unless a specific appointment has been arranged to meet and discuss, it’s usually
- [The Guy Dawson Show Interview](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/the-guy-dawson-show-interview/) - I had the pleasure of a guest appearance on The Guy Dawson Show. Please watch these short segments and be sure to subscribe to his YouTube Channel.
- [Joy](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/joy/) - This blog post originally appeared as a guest blog on LGDesigns.co. Read the full blog post by clicking here... My life is full of obligations. Work, errands, chores, bills. Not unlike anybody else’s life. I choose to separate out what I have to do from what I want to do, but a habit that stems
- [Would you rather be right? Or would you rather be liked?](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/would-you-rather-be-right-or-would-you-rather-be-liked/) - This blog was originally posted on LGDesigns.co. Read the entire blog post by clicking here... Before you ponder this non-sequitur, much less attempt to answer it for yourself, let’s think about how these questions relate to conflict in the workplace. Here’s a scenario that’s easily relatable. You’re the manager preparing to have a discussion with
- [A Conversation With a Real Estate Advocate](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/a-conversation-with-a-real-estate-advocate/) - I recently was invited to be a guest on "Real Estate Know How with Lynnae." We had neither agenda nor notes, yet the conversation flowed. I was amazed at the parallels between her business as a residential real estate broker, and mine as a mediator. It always boils down to relationships. Please listen: http://audio.vegasallnetradio.com/Real-Estate/RE2016-02-09.mp3 Transcript
- [Try Letting Go . . .](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/try-letting-go/) - I recently posted this blog on LinkedIn after a particularly interesting session with a divorcing couple. As I was listening to them, and as they were working hard to reach difficult decisions about their family, I found myself wondering what drew them to each other in the first place. They seemed to be such polar
- [Is There a Wicked Stepmother in Your Family?](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/is-there-a-wicked-stepmother-in-your-family/) - This is a blog post that originally posted on LGDesigns.co as a guest blogger. This topic is one I am familiar with, having helped families overcome communication issues and differences of opinions over a period of several years. If you have a wicked stepmother in your family and you would like some options for conflict
- [4 Simple Steps to Becoming a Better Listener](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/4-simple-steps-to-becoming-a-better-listener/) - Has anybody ever told you that you’re a good listener? Or accused you of not listening? How often do you hear the rhetorical “Listen” at the start of a political commentary, or in answer to a debate question? I challenge you to be aware of the word for a day or two, and you’ll no
- [Four Steps to Help Deal with Guilt when Ending a Relationship](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/four-steps-to-help-deal-with-guilt-when-ending-a-relationship/) - Raise your hand if you’ve ever felt guilty about something. If that feeling was pleasurable, you may lower your hand. Aha! Still have your hand in the air? I thought so. You may now put your hand down. It’s unanimous – guilt isn’t fun. So we stay in unfulfilling, unhappy, non-productive relationships because it’s better

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- [You Don't Have to Battle It Out in Court • Divorce Discussions](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/you-dont-have-to-battle-it-out-in-court-divorce-discussions/) - In Episode 3 of the Divorce Discussions Podcast, host Angie Weber sits down with Nancy Gabriel, a divorce and family mediator with over 14 years of private practice experience and owner of Mediation Around the Table.
- [Our Mediation Team](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/our_team/) - Trained mediators serving the Las Vegas area can help you get past disputes.
- [Divorce Support Collective Podcast](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/divorce-support-collective-podcast/)
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- [Contact Mediation Around The Table](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/contact-us/) - We help people divorce without losing their shirt or their dignity though mediation, not litigation.
- [About Mediation Around The Table](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/mediation_around_the_table/) - We help people divorce without losing their shirt or their dignity though mediation, not litigation.
- [How Mediation Can Help You](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/why-mediation/) - A classic way to explain mediation is the story of the two sisters who each wanted the last orange in the fruit bowl. An argument ensued...
- [Millennials and Divorce](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/millennials-and-divorce/) - [et_pb_section admin_label=”section”][et_pb_row admin_label=”row”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″][et_pb_post_title admin_label=”Post Title” title=”on” meta=”off” author=”on” date=”on” categories=”on” comments=”on” featured_image=”off” featured_placement=”below” parallax_effect=”on” parallax_method=”on” text_orientation=”left” text_color=”dark” text_background=”off” text_bg_color=”rgba(255,255,255,0.9)” module_bg_color=”rgba(255,255,255,0)” use_border_color=”off” border_color=”#ffffff” border_style=”solid”][/et_pb_post_title][et_pb_text admin_label=”Text” background_layout=”light” text_orientation=”left” use_border_color=”off” border_color=”#ffffff” border_style=”solid”][/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][/et_pb_section]
- [Fox TV 5 Segment](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/fox-tv-5-segment/) - [et_pb_section admin_label=”section”][et_pb_row admin_label=”row”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″][et_pb_post_title admin_label=”Post Title” title=”on” meta=”off” author=”on” date=”on” categories=”on” comments=”on” featured_image=”off” featured_placement=”below” parallax_effect=”on” parallax_method=”on” text_orientation=”left” text_color=”dark” text_background=”off” text_bg_color=”rgba(255,255,255,0.9)” module_bg_color=”rgba(255,255,255,0)” use_border_color=”off” border_color=”#ffffff” border_style=”solid” /][et_pb_text admin_label=”Text” background_layout=”light” text_orientation=”left” use_border_color=”off” border_color=”#ffffff” border_style=”solid”][/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][/et_pb_section]
- [What Is Divorce Mediation?](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/what-is-divorce-mediation/) - [et_pb_section admin_label=”section”][et_pb_row admin_label=”row”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″][et_pb_text admin_label=”Text” background_layout=”light” text_orientation=”center” use_border_color=”off” border_color=”#ffffff” border_style=”solid”][/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][/et_pb_section]
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- [Caesars Entertainment](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/caesars/) - Caesar's Ent. employees receive a FREE initial consultation and a substantial discount on our services as part of their EAP benefits package.
- [Mediation For Families](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/for-families/) - We help resolve family disputes including parenting disputes, elder care,and estate auctions - and offer workshops.
- [Frequently Asked Questions](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/faqs/) - Here, we summarize the broad variety of issues which can be resolved more amicably with help from a trained mediator.
- [What We Do](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/what-we-do/) - Wouldn’t it be great if a marriage or civil union could end as smoothly as it began?
- [For Business](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/for-business/) - Conflicts and disputes kill more businesses than competition or the economy. Mediation can help keep you in business.
- [Get Started....FAST](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/get-started-fast/) - A link to the www.peaceHotline.com webpage
- [Calendar](https://mediationaroundthetable.com/calendar/)

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