In case you were wondering, the expression “it takes a village” apparently originated from an African proverb emphasizing the importance of community in raising a child. It is also the title of a book written by Hillary Clinton more than 10 years ago addressing the goal of enabling children to become smart, capable, and resilient adults. Good stuff. (Confession: I didn’t actually read the book!)
Anyway, the expression got me thinking, and here’s my question: Do we still get to have a village even if we’re no longer children and/or no longer raising children? I hope so, because I definitely have a village of my own.
My village obviously consists of people whose professional advice I seek (doctors, dentists, lawyers, accountants, therapists, hairdressers, and manicurists). On the subject of seeking advice, I’ve written several articles about asking for help and the challenges we connect to those requests. However, that’s not what I’m talking about here.
Instead, I’m talking about the village of friendship, and how grateful I am to align myself with people who understand my definition of being a friend. To me:
Being a friend means showing interest in the things that are going on in someone else’s life.
Being a friend means being able to listen to complaints about aging parents without feeling resentment that at least his parents are still alive.
Being a friend means realizing that although you desperately want to, sometimes you just can’t fix what’s wrong with her job, her marriage, her hair, or her mother-in-law.
