Can Ending a Relationship be Fair?

I’d say that virtually 100% of the time, the parties I meet with tell me they want things to be fair.  It’s a lofty goal, because the decision to end the relationship almost always starts out one-sided.  Someone is clearly driving the divorce bus, at least...

THINK YOU NEED A LAWYER TO GET DIVORCED? THINK AGAIN!

Your best friend’s husband cheated on her. You tell her, “Get yourself a lawyer. Right away. And be sure to find a real bulldog.” I’m pretty sure someone you know has been involved in this type of conversation once or twice. Many people think...

Avoiding the Shattered Windshield of your Family Business

When I started doing research about conflicts in family business, my inbox overflowed with horror stories. The topics ranged from working for the ex-in-laws to wicked stepmothers taking over the company to whether to call your grandfather by his first name at the...

Disputes in the Family Business

“There’s no conflict in MY family’s business.  It runs smoothly, like clockwork, just the way my grandfather envisioned when he started it in 1959,” SAID NO ONE. EVER. The thing about conflict in family business is that it’s way more...

YOU HURT MY FEELINGS …

We’re a sensitive bunch, aren’t we? We take everything very seriously and very personally. What I’m talking about here is not the Mount Everest of abuse and betrayal. Rather, I’m on the first rung of a small ladder, looking at some of the...

Estrangement — It’s Not All That Strange

“They haven’t spoken to each other in years.” I wish I would have kept track of how many times I’ve heard those words since I became a mediator. Most frequently, the parties involved are siblings, and no two stories are ever the same. There is...

YOU’RE AN ADULT AND SO ARE YOUR PARENTS. NOW WHAT?

I hear this often: “I know he’s 23, but I still worry about him.” Or, “Geez! I’m 25 and my dad still wants to control me.” How do parents and their adult offspring figure this out? First, let me pose a couple of questions: (1) Who...

What’s a Grandparent to Do?

A couple of months ago, I wrote a blog called “Co-Existing with your Former In-Laws.” I soon realized that that’s only half of the picture, and have been thinking ever since about the other perspective. Several of my friends are now having to tiptoe...

Thinking About a Reconciliation?

You’ve separated, now you’re back together again.  At first, it seems like this time things will be different.  Then reality sets in, and  both of you revert to all of your old patterns.   You’re bickering about the same  things.  He calls you a nag....

Who Gets Custody of the Friends?

When my closest friends announced they were getting a divorce, I wasn’t the slightest bit surprised. Socializing with them was often uncomfortable, and trying to ignore their constant bickering was getting tiresome. As is fairly typical for women,...

Are You Singing the Blended Family Blues?

Several years ago, I attended a wedding. The bride’s parents had divorced when “Holly” was in elementary school. Her mother remarried shortly thereafter, and the stepfather, “Tim,” was instrumental in Holly’s life. So important...

CONFLICT ISN’T PRETTY, BUT IT CAN BE CIVIL

You’re out walking your dog on a Saturday morning enjoying the exercise and the fresh air when, all of a sudden, he pulls on his leash and starts to growl.  Why?  Because somebody else’s dog has approached, and that dog is not on a leash.  Fortunately,...