Disputes in the Family Business

“There’s no conflict in MY family’s business.  It runs smoothly, like clockwork, just the way my grandfather envisioned when he started it in 1959,” SAID NO ONE. EVER. The thing about conflict in family business is that it’s way more...

YOU HURT MY FEELINGS …

We’re a sensitive bunch, aren’t we? We take everything very seriously and very personally. What I’m talking about here is not the Mount Everest of abuse and betrayal. Rather, I’m on the first rung of a small ladder, looking at some of the...

Estrangement — It’s Not All That Strange

“They haven’t spoken to each other in years.” I wish I would have kept track of how many times I’ve heard those words since I became a mediator. Most frequently, the parties involved are siblings, and no two stories are ever the same. There is...

YOU’RE AN ADULT AND SO ARE YOUR PARENTS. NOW WHAT?

I hear this often: “I know he’s 23, but I still worry about him.” Or, “Geez! I’m 25 and my dad still wants to control me.” How do parents and their adult offspring figure this out? First, let me pose a couple of questions: (1) Who...

What’s a Grandparent to Do?

A couple of months ago, I wrote a blog called “Co-Existing with your Former In-Laws.” I soon realized that that’s only half of the picture, and have been thinking ever since about the other perspective. Several of my friends are now having to tiptoe...

Thinking About a Reconciliation?

You’ve separated, now you’re back together again.  At first, it seems like this time things will be different.  Then reality sets in, and  both of you revert to all of your old patterns.   You’re bickering about the same  things.  He calls you a nag....

Who Gets Custody of the Friends?

When my closest friends announced they were getting a divorce, I wasn’t the slightest bit surprised. Socializing with them was often uncomfortable, and trying to ignore their constant bickering was getting tiresome. As is fairly typical for women,...

Are You Singing the Blended Family Blues?

Several years ago, I attended a wedding. The bride’s parents had divorced when “Holly” was in elementary school. Her mother remarried shortly thereafter, and the stepfather, “Tim,” was instrumental in Holly’s life. So important...

CONFLICT ISN’T PRETTY, BUT IT CAN BE CIVIL

You’re out walking your dog on a Saturday morning enjoying the exercise and the fresh air when, all of a sudden, he pulls on his leash and starts to growl.  Why?  Because somebody else’s dog has approached, and that dog is not on a leash.  Fortunately,...

WHAT TO DO WITH A GRUDGE

You and your mother-in-law had the fight to end all fights. Granted, it was a long time ago, but it was never resolved. There was no (pardon the overused cliche) closure. There wasn’t even an agreement to disagree. Just silence. When absolutely necessary, you...

Managing Expectations (No Need to Reach for the Stars)

“My expectations were reduced to zero when I was 21.  Everything since then has been a bonus.”  So said the brilliant Stephen Hawking in a magazine interview.  Guess what?  I’m going to disagree with a genius.  Lowering your expectations, in my...

Is it time to Dump an Old Friend?

An extraordinary person once said, “Friends should bring you joy.”    Oh wait!  That was me!  And that is the barometer I use when nurturing my own friendships. I’ve been researching this question, and asking men and women alike whether it’s...