When I was a teenager, I was strolling around Topanga Plaza, a large shopping mall near my house. I happened to be walking by a phone booth (remember those?) when I heard the phone ring. So, I answered it and began a conversation with another teenager who said she was random-dialing. I told here where her call landed, we chuckled for a moment, and then I hung up. The VERY NEXT DAY, I was attending a Sweet Sixteen luncheon (remember those?), and a girl sitting across the table from me started talking about random dialing and how she reached a phone booth in Topanga Plaza and someone answered! Yep, it was me! Coincidence, right?
A few years ago, I helped a super-nice police officer and his wife with their divorce. On the morning that they were scheduled to sign their settlement agreement, the officer texted me that they were going to be 20 minutes late. When they arrived, he told me that on his way to pick up his soon-to-be-ex-wife, he was stopped by the Nevada Highway Patrol for speeding. My client told the NHP cop that he was late to sign his divorce papers with the mediator. He even showed the cop my business card, and when the NHP cop saw my logo, he said to my client, “You’re on your way to see Nancy? She did my divorce! Tell her hello!” Coincidence, right?
Why do you suppose coincidences occur in the first place? Scientists who have studied this phenomenon have come up with three reasons: (1) statistical probability, by virtue of the fact that we live in a world with billions of people; (2) psychological factors, such as the need to find meaning in life, or the need to connect with things that align with our beliefs and expectations; and (3) perception and memory, because our brains are wired to look for patterns and we may perceive a coincidence where none exists.
For me, it’s definitely the way my brain is wired.
According to “Psychology Today,” the term “coinciders” (their word, not mine) tend to be people who self-define as being spiritual or religious. They seem to be highly intuitive and/or in the process of searching for the meaning of life. On the other hand, most psychiatrists tend to share the opinion that coincidences are random and not significant.
Where do you stand?
In my opinion, I think it’s important to note that, while coincidences can be intriguing, they don’t necessarily have an underlying meaning. I’m choosing to embrace the randomness of life and find joy in the unexpected. And when a coincidence happens to me, I love to share the experience with others, if for no other reason than to smile at the occurrence.
Are you a “coincider?” Do you consider your coincidental experiences to be random or something more spiritual?
Please share your thoughts and, more importantly, please share your experiences.
