I confess, spur-of-the-moment isn’t my favorite flavor. I seldom do anything at the last minute. On the contrary, I plan my work, my meals, my wardrobe, my errands, and my social life. I use three separate calendars. Does that make me obsessive-compulsive? An over-thinker? A worrier? A nerd? All of the above? None of the above?
Obviously, we are all planners to a certain degree. We don’t wake up in the morning and hop a plane to Sydney. We have to schedule our medical appointments, parent-teacher conferences, and air conditioning repairs. But there are many people who only plan what they absolutely have to plan, and leave the rest of their lives to chance. Do they, like blondes, have more fun?
Looking for answers, I turned to the expert on all things, Dr. Phil. Evidently, Dr. Phil has plans for weight loss, weddings, retirement, and better relationships. But not a single plan for spontaneity. Thanks a lot, Dr. Phil. How’s that working for you?
Spontaneous people, I believe, experience life on a different level than planners. They have more adventures, and find joy in the unexpected. Ok, now they’ve piqued my interest. Joy is my favorite word. Am I missing out? What’s their secret?
I believe that planners are more efficient. I also believe that a plan can eliminate or minimize stress. And maybe having three calendars prevents over-scheduling or forgetting something. But does that mean planners are better at life? Or is it just that we approach life differently, in which case it’s all good. Different is neither right nor wrong. It’s just different.
Since Dr. Phil turned out to be useless in this regard, I’ve been forced to walk the tightrope between planning and spontaneity unassisted. Suddenly, an epiphany! Just like in my tightrope metaphor, the solution is BALANCE. Yes, balance between policies of planning and laissez-faire. Each has its unique purpose and opportunity. Combining both in balance is synergistic. The best of both worlds.
If you’re also on the tightrope, I want to share what’s been working for me. I schedule time to be spontaneous. Sounds contradictory, doesn’t it? Please don’t judge me because I carve out chunks of time every week to deliberately see what happens. I call it my “adventure time,” but believe me, it’s not as glamorous as it sounds. I simply open my mind to whatever happens. Sometimes it’s joyous, like accidentally making a new friend. Sometimes it’s painful, like the time I decided to rearrange my furniture and ended up cutting my foot when a crystal vase smashed into thousands of tiny pieces.
Attempting to balance the plans with the non-plans is still new to me. I’m still not sure whether it will become a lifestyle change, or whether the experiment will soon run out of steam. I guess for now I’ll stick with it and see where it takes me. Maybe to Office Depot to buy another calendar. Will I see you there?
Nancy, I found your message very interesting. We try to plan “free” time and most of the time it doesn’t work. Kids is the reason.
Lol! I so Agree! I schedule my spontaneous fun time also!
Lol! I so Agree! I schedule my spontaneous fun time also!
There are a lot of things that need appointments and planning. That can’t be helped. I prefer spontaneity. I like to just “get up and go” (not to Sydney), but, a quick, unplanned trip is fun! I believe in planning – but, even the best laid plans fall through. In those instances, it’s a lesson in being adaptable and flexible.
We are all different in our comfort zones. If you plan spontaneous times they are not sponteneous and does everyone involved have a say in the plans.Personally I believe over planning is a result of fear of the unknown. We have to be in control of every situation or it freaks us out. What do I do if????? Sometimes the wrong turn on a trip turns out to be the most memorable part of the trip. Bump into someone in a door way and spend the next 20 minutes chatting and forget what you were going in for. When we get old many of us will have everything planned out for us. The time to live and have fun is now. Life is an adventure, take it. We have all said “I should have”after it is to late.Just an opinion.