Are You Raising Your Kids Correctly? Your Mom Might Disagree.

This is a story about Ashley and her mom, Sally. This is also a story about a Millennial and a Baby Boomer. This is also a story about love. So here goes: Sally is a retired elementary school teacher who frequently helps out her daughter, Ashley, by babysitting for...

Shhhh . . . Unlock the Power of Silence

No, I’m not talking about “the silent treatment” that we’ve all used from time to time to make a point. “What’s wrong?” your partner asks, and you respond “Nothing,” which can be a truthful answer or, more likely,...

Think You’re a Good Listener? Take This Simple Quiz.

Do you maintain frequent eye contact with the speaker? Are you suspending your judgment of the person’s appearance? Are you encouraging the speaker by nodding and conveying your own understanding? Do you try to keep an eye on what else is going on in the room?...

Before You Ride Off Into the Sunset . . .

An old friend once told me that he came home from work to find his house completely emptied, including the carpeting, light bulbs, switchplate covers and toilet paper!  Was his house broken into?  Nope.  His wife decided to move out and end the relationship....

Would You Like Some Pie a la Blame?

We all know them. The blamers. The ones who are the quickest to deny responsibility. Instead, they say things like, “the bank bounced my check,” or  “I missed the deadline because my assistant’s kid was sick.” When I’m working with...

Sibling Rivalry Isn’t Just for Kids

I imagine that each one of us knows of someone who isn’t speaking to a brother or sister. My dad and one of his brothers didn’t speak to each other for decades, and they never chose to reconcile.  As a family Mediator, I hear stories about long-standing...

Kids, Put Away Your Phones — We Need to Talk

Telling your kids that you’re getting a divorce is one of the most significant conversations you’ll ever have, so it makes sense to do the best you can.  Even if you haven’t been on the same page with your spouse for ages, it’s a necessity in...

Adoption and Your Marriage

Couples who adopt are very special. It’s a massive decision with lifetime implications. I think it starts with a “what if …?” and ends with a “let’s do it!” What gets discussed in between is unique and personal, and I would...

Adjusting to Power Shifts in Relationships

Power shifts in relationships can be perceived in many ways. Take the newlyweds who meet in college. The wife gets a teaching job with a decent entry level salary — enough to support the couple while the husband goes to law school.  She works full-time, pays all...

There’s No Crying in Divorce!

It will come as no surprise if I tell you that I’ve seen a couple of tears shed in divorce mediation.   A couple of thousand is more like it. I find it interesting to observe the varying ways people deal with their emotions in front of me, the neutral third...

This Year, You Can Change-Up Mother’s Day

Whose mom comes first on Mother’s Day? Your own mom, your grandmother, your stepmother, your mother-in-law, your kids’ mom, your surrogate mother? I think I’ll stop here, but you get the idea. There’s a great deal of pressure put on this...