One of my top goals as a divorce mediator is being accessible to my clients, whether past, present, or future.  I don’t have to remind myself that ending a relationship or navigating one with a co-parent is challenging, to say the least.  That’s why I know how important it is to be available.

We all know people who are so busy that we frequently cut them slack for not returning our calls. We make excuses for them, or we accept the excuses they provide, and we never call them out on their b-s. I once worked for an attorney who literally had a policy of waiting until the third voicemail before returning a call.  And when I first started my divorce mediation practice, I had a colleague who didn’t respond to a text unless I started it with “911.”  

Which brings me back to the subject of accessibility. Do you think it’s important? Obviously, I do. I’m sure we all have a short list of who we really need access to, and how often. Yet there are those who abuse the privilege, either by denying us access, or by blowing up our phones about stuff we really don’t need to know.

When you’re looking at your own accessibility whether in the workplace or elsewhere, having an open door policy can be beneficial and it can also be detrimental. I’d like to make three suggestions on how it can be the former and not the latter.

First, be accountable. If you schedule a meeting with your staff, or a lunch with your cousin, be there on time (or maybe a bit early). Show up ready to fully engage, regardless of who called the meeting, and be prepared to listen more than you speak.

Second, be purposeful. Small talk is okay for a few minutes, and then cut to the chase. Know what you want to ask as well as what you want to say.  Obviously, this is more relevant in the business world than in your social life, but either way, it’s important.

Third, be proactive. Together, figure out the next steps and who’s going to take which ones. Reiterate assignments and set deadlines. Also, if appropriate, schedule an interim status check to see how things are going and if anything needs tweaking. And if the situation isn’t work-related, you can still be proactive by making plans for your next get-together or phone call. 

At the end of the day, your accessibility contributes to the way in which you are valued.  In my mediation practice, I see firsthand how  anxiety is relieved simply by a prompt reply or a clear next step. We all have “911” moments in life, but we shouldn’t need a crisis to feel heard. By refining how we show up for others, we not only add value to our professional relationships but we also bring a little more peace to our personal ones. Let’s make the “three-call rule” a thing of the past and start being truly present instead.