If you haven’t read last week’s blog about how to prepare for divorce, please take an extra few minutes to read it now.  Thank you.

Okay, you’re ready to move forward.  Now what?  Are you thinking about mediation?  Are you and your soon-to-be ex able to be in the same room with each other for an hour?  If you want to end your marriage in a respectful and cost-effective manner, divorce mediation provides a dignified, economical and extremely viable alternative to the hostility of divorce litigation.  Need more information? Here are three reasons why divorce mediation is a good idea:

Reason #1:  Freedom

  • Freedom to make your own choices about the end of your relationship
  • Freedom to use resources the way you want
  • Freedom from having to look back on this chapter of your life with regret or remorse
  • Freedom to move on with your life and enjoy all that the future can be for you
  • Freedom to make your divorce work better than your marriage
  • Freedom to parent your children in the best possible way
  • Freedom from burdensome legal fees

Reason #2: Privacy

  • Your mediation is held in a private, confidential office setting resulting in a private written agreement.
  • Your privacy is maintained through the confidential mediation process.
  • Unlike open court, the mediation process is not a matter of public record
  • You will not be embarrassed or ashamed about personal matters that might be discussed
  • Your friends, relatives and strangers will only know what you decide to tell them
  • You will have a higher rate of compliance since you each contributed to and agreed to how you want to end the relationship

Reason #3:  Impartiality

  • You will meet with a professional mediator who is unbiased, neutral, and non-judgmental
  • Clients determine their own standard of fairness based on their unique needs.
  • You will be treated equitably while achieving justice in the process
  • You will avoid the harsh judgments of others
  • You, not the courts, attorneys, or judges, will determine your own definition of fairness
  • As parents, you will be in charge of an outcome that is in the best interest of your family

However, divorce mediation might not always be appropriate.  If there is a history of abuse, whether physical, verbal, emotional, or substance, hiring an attorney is recommended so that your safety, and that of your children, can be protected.  Likewise, if one of you doesn’t have the desire to cooperate, to compromise, or to make your own decisions, divorce mediation would not be the best choice.

If, on the other hand, you do think that mediation might be a good fit, I invite you to explore it further.  Make an appointment or two or three with an experienced, qualified Mediator and get your questions answered.

With some homework and some advance preparation, I’m sure you’ll chose the route that will be the best for both of you.